Wingless And Beautiful episode 15

🕊WINGLESS AND BEAUTIFUL🕊
🍁EPISODE FIFTEEN🍁

“Are you okay?” Chaise asked me in a gentle tone.
I simply nodded. I couldn’t speak, afraid that if I did, I
would cry or scre-m my heart out.
This was so frustrating! I wanted to run after Hunter to
assure him that it was still him. It would always be him. But I didn’t know how or where to start fixing this mess.
Chaise looked down at me and studied my face.
“Why are you crying? Did Vaughn make you cry?” he
asked. He sounded alarmed, like he was ready to punchHunter’s teeth down his throat if I said yes.
I managed a fake giggle. “No, silly. I was just glad thatyou guys finally came back for us.”
That was a stupid lie. But I couldn’t tell Chaise the truth.
Not yet. He would be hurt and I owed him so much. I owed
him my life.

But on the other hand… Hunter was heart-broken
because he thought I didn’t wait for him. Before he left, he
never really knew how I felt for him.
Chaise looked at me with a serious expression on his
face. I felt uneasy because I suspected that he was trying to
read me. Suddenly, I felt a tug on my necklace. When I
looked down, I saw that he was holding my pendant in his
hand, feeling the inscriptions with his fingers. I immediately
snatched it away from him. He was staring at me with
shielded eyes and I couldn’t read the expression on his face.
I stepped away from him and turned to Denise. “Are we all set to go?”
She smiled at me and nodded. “Get your bag. We’re leaving.”
directions, I thought we actually spent more time making
out.
But I would never admit that to Denise. Not yet. I had to
plan this through. And I thought Chaise deserved to know
about Hunter and me first.
“Why… why were you in the same room when we found
you?” Denise asked.
I turned away from her to hide my blush. I’m about to lie
to her, but I didn’t want my expression to give that away.
“There was only one room in the house, Denise,” I faked
a laugh.

“Well, yeah. But the living room was big enough. Surelyyou didn’t sleep on the same bed.”
No. I don’t think Hunter slept at all.
“No. I slept on the bed. He came in to wake me up,” I
lied. “Then you guys came.”
“Okay, good. Because I will not forgive him if he insultedyou or took advantage of you.”
“I don’t think he’s capable of taking advantage ofanyone.”
Denise nodded. “Yes, but he’s very much capable of killing anyone with his sharp tongue alone,” she said. Thenshe gro-ned. “This trip was a total disaster!”
“What happened when we weren’t here? And why didyou leave me there?”
“Well, Mica was sick. I think she’s mental to be honest.
Apparently, it was the first time somebody shouted at her
and told her off, she couldn’t take it. When she came back,
she couldn’t stop crying that she found it difficult tobreathe. They had to give her a brown bag to breathe intoso she could calm down.” Denise rolled her eyes. “Ipanicked when they told me she was on the verge of havinga nervous breakdown so I rushed back without telling you. Ididn’t know it was going to have a storm so soon that wecouldn’t go back for you. The signals were out so wecouldn’t call you.

“Chaise wanted to go back for you even when it was
raining. We all had to convince him that it was a terrible
idea. I told him that Hunter would take care of you,” Denise
said, then she looked at me wearily. “I think that worried
Chaise even more.”
I knew what she meant by that, but I kept quiet.
“I think that Chaise was jealous of Hunter. He didn’t like
it that Hunter jumped into the water first when Mica pushed
you. It only meant one thing. Hunter had been watching you
when that happened. And Chaise thought it was his job to
save you.”
I shook my head. “It was never his job. He’s not my
boyfriend.”

“Alice… if you really have no intentions of returning
Chaise’s feelings… you should just tell him.”
“I did. Plenty of times. But he’s also my friend, Denise. I
wish he would just give up. I owe him for saving my life… for
looking out for me even when I thought I didn’t need him to.
I just don’t know what to do. I want him to stay away from
me. But how could I tell him that without hurting him?”
Chaise was a good guy. He was my guardian angel.

Unfortunately, my friendsh¡p with him cost me… the most
important boy in my life.
“You’ll figure it out one of these days.” Denise smiled at
me encouragingly.
“I hope you’re right,” I said.
We heard somebody tap on the door. Chaise peeked in.
“Breakfast is ready.”
Denise and I looked at each other.
How long had Chaise been standing by the door?
Denise gave me a slight shrug, as if she read my mind.
“We’ll be there in a sec,” Denise replied.
Chaise nodded and then he left quietly.
“Do you think he heard us?” I asked Denise.
“I don’t know. But if he did, then maybe your problem is
solved. You wanted to find a way to tell him to bugger off.
There you go!”
“Denise!”
She laughed. “Sorry, hun. Force of habit. You know there
will be no love lost between Chaise and me.”

All of us, with the exception of Hunter, had breakfast in
the dining room. Mica was all sobered up and I hoped
Denise would tell her parents about the incident. She
needed to see somebody about handling her emotions
properly. I know suicidal instincts when I see the signs. I was
the girl whose mother killed herself when things got too
much for her to handle.
Hunter locked himself in the master’s bedroom, which
made me feel both worried and glad. I was worried because
he didn’t look happy when Chaise hugged me in front of
him, and glad because I didn’t know how to behave in front
of him and my friends together.
I wish I could tell Hunter about all the waiting I did for
him. I wish I could make him believe that for eighteen long
months, I held on to his promise of coming back to me. My
friendsh¡p and gratitude for Chaise had nothing to do with
my feelings for him.
I should have told Hunter everything last night, when we
were alone. But now, it’s gotten more complicated with
Denise and Chaise around. I had some serious explaining to
do to them too. I wanted to be as careful as possible
because this would kill Chaise. And I already killed him
every day that I couldn’t return his feelings.

When we left, Hunter decided to stay behind. Before I
hopped into Chaise’s car, I looked back and found Hunter
standing in the balcony. He was watching me. I couldn’t
make out the expression on his face. He looked frustrated,
sad and angry all at the same time.
I wanted to come up to him, to tell him that I just
needed a little bit of time to set things right.
“Come on, Chaise. Drive!” Denise called from the carbehind us.
“Alice, let’s go,” Chaise demanded from in,side the car.
I looked up at Hunter one last time. He gave me a slight
nod, as if silently giving me permission to go. I gave him a
sad smile and then I hopped in,side Chaise’s car.
On the way home, Chaise was silent too. He was happy
to leave me to my own thoughts, while he got lost in his.
When he dropped me off in front of my house, I thanked him
silently. He just nodded and then drove away.
“How was it?” Meredith asked me cheerfully as soon as I
went in,side the house.
It took me a minute to snap out of my thoughts and
answer her.
“Okay, I guess,” I replied curtly. Then I headed to my
room.

I changed into a comfortable pair of shorts and a big
baggy shirt. Then I threw myself to bed and took a pillow to
cover my face.
A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my arm. I turned and
saw that Meredith was sitting on the side of my bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“Not really.”
“Come on, Alice. I thought you have learned to trust
me,” she said. “I know something was going on. I could see
it on your face. Something was bothering you.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I sat up on the bed and
stared at her for a long moment.
“Is this about a boy?” she asked.
I sighed. “Boys.”
She was taken back a bit and then she couldn’t help
grinning. “Sweetheart, half the girls your age would kill for a
problem like yours.”
“Well, they’re welcome to take my place any day,” I said
dryly.

Meredith smiled at me gently. “Tell me.”
I didn’t really know where to start except from thebeginning. I told her about my new job, and how I walked those streets alone at nights. Then I told her about Chaise
who was persistent from the beginning and how he stalked
me as I walked home at nights. But he was doing it with
very good intentions. He was making sure I got home safely.
Then I didn’t see the point of not being honest to
Meredith about the potheads I encountered on the streets
and how they could have had their way with me if Chaise
didn’t come to my rescue. I saw her flinch but she didn’t
interrupt my monologue. Then I told her how Chaise became
a good friend after that and how he picked me up from work
and took me home every night to make sure I was safe.
Finally, I told her that Hunter returned to school after a
successful corneal transplant and how he was ignoring me
all this time… hating me even. Then I told her how Hunter
told me that I broke his heart because he thought I was with
Chaise now and didn’t wait for him. Of course, I left out the
part of making out with Hunter while we were left in the
cabin by ourselves.
“I don’t know what to do, Mer,” I said in between tears.

“Chaise had grown dear to me… but only as a friend. I owe
him a lot for saving my life. But I couldn’t return his
feelings.”
“Because of Hunter?”
I nodded. “It will always be Hunter.”
“But because Chaise was on your side like a diligent
boyfriend, anybody would think that something was going
on between the two of you. If anybody could assume that
Chaise was your boyfriend, could you really blame Hunter
for thinking that you chose to move on without him?”
I shook my head slowly. “I waited for him every day. I
was able to survive all this time with a smile on my face and
not worry about how difficult and lonely life was… because Iwas always looking forward to Hunter’s return… I waswaiting every day for him to keep his promise to come backto me.”
“And he did. He came back for you. But when he did, he
saw that there’s someone else already taking care of you.
He thought he was too late. He must have been blaming
himself for taking too long, but that was not his fault too.
You were the reason why he chose to move on and live his
life again… but when he came back, he found that Chaise
was already doing the job that gave him a reason to
undergo transplant in the first place.”
Meredith was right. I couldn’t blame Hunter for this. Itwas all a misconception. But if Hunter and I got backtogether, I would lose Chaise and his friendsh¡p. I would losemy guardian angel and I knew I would hurt his feelingsbeyond belief. I didn’t think he deserved that. But if I didn’tchoose Hunter, then Hunter would continue hurting and hedidn’t deserve that either.

I heaved a frustrated sigh. “Why does life and love haveto be complicated? Why can’t I love without obstacles?Without getting hurt or hurting anyone else?”
Meredith smiled at me. “You have a big heart, Alice. It’samazing how you always… always put the feelings of othersaround you before your own. And sometimes… that’s yourproblem. You never thought about yourself. You were neverselfish. Because if you were… you would have gotten backtogether with Hunter last night, to hell with whoever gothurt in the process.”
“I want to love Hunter and be with him… without feelingbad or guilty about hurting Chaise’s feelings. Chaise is agood guy and has done a big deal for me by saving my life.Even though it’s inevitable that I break his heart, I don’tthink I have the heart to do it,” I said sadly.
“Either way, you’re going to break the heart of one ofthem, Alice.” Meredith said. “You know whose heart youwould rather break. But right now, it’s the heart of the boyyou didn’t want to hurt that is breaking.”

“If I hurt Chaise, wouldn’t that mean I was ungrateful forthe huge sacrifices he made for me? He risked his own life to save mine. It was bad enough when I couldn’t love him.But now it’s worse because I have to tell him that I’mchoosing somebody else over him.”
“If Chaise really loves you… then he would set you free.He would be happy for you even if he was hurting. If Hunterdeserves you… he would either set you free to fall in lovewith somebody who would love you more than him… or hewould fight for you because he felt that nobody else woulddo a better job at protecting you but him.” Meredith smiledat me ruefully. “You have to be honest with Chaise, Alice.
You have to tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t know thatthe guy you love was just around you all this time, then hewon’t back down. If he kept on thinking that the guy youwere in love with doesn’t give a damn about you anymore,he would do all he could to win you for himself. But if herealizes that he was in the way of your true happiness… hejust might set you free.”
I thought about Chaise and all the good things that hedid. I wanted to give him a chance… but I couldn’t. Becauseall that I was… and all the love that I could give in my heart,I had already given to Hunter.
“And you have to be honest with Hunter too.” Meredithcontinued. “He had to understand that when he left, therewas another guy who took his place. Not in your heart. Butthat guy did a great job protecting you, nevertheless.”
When Meredith left me in my room, my head wasclearer. Chaise had to know about Hunter, even if it hurthim. He just might back off and give Hunter and me achance to continue our story. And if Hunter still wanted to bewith me, he was free to come back to me. But if he didn’twant me anymore, then he couldn’t use Chaise as anexcuse not to be with me.

I knew I couldn’t tell Hunter everything in a space of tenminutes, which was probably the amount of time he waswilling to spare me if I asked to talk to him. Jealous Huntercould be irrational no matter how smart he was. But he had to know everything. From the day he left, until the day hereturned.
It was time for him to read my diary… the diary that hemade me promise to write since the day he left me withhopes that he would someday come back to me.I stood up from my bed and took my bag. Even though Ihadn’t written on it much since the day Hunter returned, Istill brought my diary with me all the time.
I took out all contents of my bag. I scanned through myclothes, however, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. Iturned my bag in,side out just to be sure I didn’t just miss it.I tried to remember where and when I had seen it last.And I distinctly remembered putting it in the bag before Iwent to the lake house. Then I remembered leaving it there,when I took a few pieces of clothes to change to before wewent to the cabin. When we came back to the main house, Ididn’t remember taking it out from my bag at all… I didn’teven remember seeing it or thinking about it. I was sopreoccupied with my mess with Hunter and Chaise to thinkabout anything else.

As I looked at the pile of stuff scattered on my bed, Irealized in horror that it wasn’t there… Hunter’s diary wasmissing.