“You look amazing” Dave commented smiling at me. It was his sixth time saying it. “You’re saying it again” I complained giving him a cold stare and he chuckled. I have never been the kind to entertain compliments.The last time night received one, I was raped. I didn’t believe there was anything like an innocent compliment.
“I won’t stop saying it” he paused biting his lower lip. I’ve always hated when he does that thing with his lips, I don’t understand why I get bothered . I slowly observed him, the short sleeve blue stripe shirt he wore which brought out his muscular biceps.
It was actually my first time seeing him on short sleeves.
My eyes darted away from his body back to the food on the table.
“You’re a natural…” He commented, “There’s just something about you that drives me nuts.” He continued, “Your beauty, your smile, you still look good when you’re being cold” he added which forced a chuckle out of me. I didn’t want to laugh but he had a way of cracking me up.
“We didn’t come here to talk about me did we?” I asked and he smiled shaking his head. “No, but you’re my favorite topic”
“Now you’re being cheesy” I snapped rolling my eyes in disbelief.
“I’m serious Aisha but I don’t know why you have trust issues” he paused, “Fine I know Hope’s dad must have hurt you and I’ve asked you a billion times but you don’t want to let me know and I respect your privacy and the fact that several other must have hurt you, but I’m different”
“Or you think you’re different” i chipped in and then he sighed. Maybe he was getting tired, I smirked, good for me, maybe then he’ll give up.
“You be the judge of that. Why are you so cranky dear? It’s Hope’s birthday, you’re supposed to be happy”
“I would have been happy if you didn’t force me to be on this stupid date”
They was a brief silence except for the slow music playing. “I’m doing it all wrong shea?” Dave asked in guilt.
I felt pity for him.
“I’m trying not to screw things up Aisha”
“Why do you even try? I’m not worth it; I’m not worth the stress.”
“You’re worth every stress. It’s no news that I’m in love with you” he paused and I immediately cut in.
“You’ve been trying David, just give up” i suggested, “No” he laughed winking at me.
While we walked out of the restaurant, I had a disturbimg feeling in my guts telling me to talk to Dave. As much as I struggled with the feeling, it won.
“Today is my Hope’s birthday and also my mom’s death anniversary” I revealed to his shock. “I lost my mom the same day I had Hope” I added blinking my tears back in. I didn’t want to ruin my make up.
“You wanted to know why I was cranky..there you have it. How can I be on a date on the same day my mom died.” I confessed then I saw him stretch his arms out at me. “Want a hug?” He asked and I scoffed walking away.
“I’m sorry about your mom,” he followed me; we were close to the car already. “Do you think your mom would want to see you unhappy?”
“No” I replied, “She wanted the best for me”
“Would she be happy to see you sob over her like you’re doing now?” He asked and I shook my head cleaning a tear that was about to pour down.
“Everyone has that part in their life you know?” he asked then scoffed giving that look as though in deep thought. I told him that I had doubt that he had such life experiences since he was always so playful and nonsensical.
“When I was a teenager, i did something really bad, I still get haunted in my dreams for it. It made me who I am, if I take away the cheerful me, I’ll be an empty man full of guilt.”
He spoke with so much emotion that I feared he was going to cry.
“It wasn’t bad, it was awful..
I still feel like a terrible person… My past still haunts me but I was determined to let it go” he answered then resumed smiling.
“I hate talking about it. That’s why I love talking about you instead” he changed the topic.
“Give up already” I begged. ” Just give up on me. Like I said, David I’m not worth it. I can’t make you happy, I’ll only cause you pain”
“That’s impossible! Seeing your face everyday will make me an happy man”
“I can’t make any one happy, don’t you get it?”
“Why are you always so pessimistic about yourself?”
“Cause….” I paused almost in tears. “I’m nothing but filth, I’ve been used and”
“Urgh!!! Aisha I don’t care about the numbers of guys you’ve been with”
“It’s not the…” I paused tightening my fist. “It’s not about the number of guys I’ve slept with cause there have been none since i had hope….” I paused as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“You wanted to know why I think all men are scvm right? Why I think I’m not worth it that I can never reciprocate your love.” I paused cleaning my tears with the tip of my fingers.
“I’m not worth it cause I was r*ped. A stupid bastard r*ped me” I confessed feeling slightly ashame. A secret I’ve been keeping away from people, I finally told it my boss.
“Do you still think I’m worth it?” I asked and I saw Dave move closer to me pressing a soft kiss on my lips. The last time someone tried a kiss move on me, he ended up with a hot slap.
I’ve always known David would one day pull a kiss stunt, but whenever I imagine the moment, I usually picture myself slapping some sense into him not kissing him back as I was.