Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY………. Episode 32

Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY………. Episode 32
 
“My God! Mickey, what happened to you?!” Christy exclaimed, her hands flying to cover her mouth. She looked incredibly s€×y in her semi-transparent nighties. Her hair was hidden beneath the colourful scarf she had on. There was genuine shock and worry in her eyes. I felt flattered to see that she still cared. Her heart had to be made of stone if she didn’t any way because at this particular point, I was a sight for sore eyes. My shirt was badly torn, I had a bad bump on my head that had some caked blood on it; my upper lip was badly cut and I could still taste my blood every now and then.
 
“Chris, whatever happened to me is irrelevant right now. All that matters is that I’m alive and I’m here…right now.” I said desperately.
 
“Come in,side. Let’s get you cleaned up.” She said holding my hand and leading me in,side. I finally got the info I’d been seeking; thanks to Clarisse. I had to call her and plead with her to hear me out. After much talk, she gave me the address of Christy’s new hideout – her cousin’s place in VGC.
…………………………….
 
The events that led me to that evening was one I never thought could ever happen. I had managed to escape Nike’s clutches after a wild night at her place. I justified my actions on the grounds that I owed her one and that it would be my last act of infidelity should things go as I planned.
 
I made extensive plans over the weekend to devise the most rom-ntic way to recapture Christy’s heart. I chose to use the information I gathered to my advantage. I had spent the wh0le day bombarding her with emails, hand written notes begging her forgiveness. I wrote her streams of poetry which I knew she loved. I sent gifts to her at intervals at the office, making sure I littered her desk with gifts of penance.
 
I couldn’t have done any of this without my mole in her office, John. I gave him a call informing him of my clandestine location around her office premises where I had mounted a stakeout in the hopes of getting a glimpse of her. He was delighted to see me and the fact that I had a good bottle of his favorite Vodka waiting for him cleared whatever awkward feeling there might have been. He updated me on all that had transpired since the break-up. He told me about the scene she had with Kunle when he wouldn’t stop coming to the office.
 
Christy now suspected that something had gone on between him and Kemi and I had figured that would be the case when I made my confession about the video. The fact that Kemi was now regarded as a “relationsh¡p spoiler” made my chances look even better. I was convinced that there may still be a chance to salvage what was left.
 
I arranged with Tunde to appear at her branch to open up an account with her bank. He was to strike up a conversation with her that would lead them to making an arrangement for a brief beach outing after work that day. It would be a tough request but I knew she would oblige him. She liked Tunde a lot and if he requested catch-up time, she would never say no. Also, in the event that she asked of my whereabouts, he was to tell her that I had taken a 3 day leave of absence to attend the funeral of a childhood friend.
 
There was a particular s₱0t where I and Christy always stood whenever we went to the beach. It gave us a breathtaking view of the Atlantic and at the right time, you could actually see the sun set. It was picture perfect. When I told Tunde that was where I intended to pop the question, he smiled and patted me on the back and said with a hilariously avuncular air, “I taught you well son.” Not before he warned me of what a bruise a refusal would do to my ego though.
 
However, most times things never go as planned.
 
I had prepared my mind that there were three possible outcomes; an outright refusal, a request for time to consider it or if all went well, an excited “yes”. I prayed it would be the latter. Tunde alerted Ifeanyi and Tuoyo as to what I was planning to do. They all knew the story so they wanted to be there to laugh at me should the worst happen and then console me. I didn’t care though. I was convinced that something drastic was needed and this was the best I could come up with.
 
Tunde gave me regular progress updates after he and Christy had met and discussed. She seemed glad at the prospect of hanging out with him after work but she didn’t ask of me. Not once did she act like I existed even when Tunde alluded to time past. He was alarmed about this as much as I was. Apparently the notes, mails and gifts I sent to soften her up a bit had not produced the desired result. I began to wonder about the what Clarisse and John had told me. Were they exaggerating my chances?
 
I shrugged off all fears and decided to push on. I realized that since I conceived the idea on how to get Christy back, I hadn’t really been sleeping or eating well for the past two days as I was as anxious as I was excited. It finally began to take its toll on me. When Tunde updated me that Christy was getting off from work quite late, I decided to nap a bit knowing he would handle all that needed to done. Thank God Amaka had traveled to be with her mom who hadn’t been feeling to well for some time or else she would have had my head on a plate for making her husband stay out so late.
 
Well, I overslept. I had dozed off around 6pm hoping to sleep for an hour but I woke with a start around 10: 12pm . I had slept so deep that I didn’t even realized it rained. My phone had over 12 missed calls and several messages, all from Tunde. I called him immediately.
 
“Guy, na wa for you oh! Where did you drop your phones?!” He said with relief.
 
“If I tell you what happened, you won’t believe. Do you know that I slept off?” I said honestly.
 
“You slept off?!” He asked in disbelief.
 
“Immediately after we spoke the last time. I thought I’d just sleep for an hour. I didn’t even know it rained.”
 
“Does this mean you’re still at home?” He asked alarmed.
 
“I’m just about leaving the house now.”
 
“Christy is already on her way to the beach oh. You better get your arse down here!” He roared angrily.
 
“Cool down bros. I dey come.” I said laughing.
 
I washed my face and changed my clothes in record time. I made sure the little suede box was in my pocket before I dashed into my car and drove like a maniac. Luckily, I was against the traffic so movement wasn’t so terrible and it cleared up as I approached the bridge. I was doing 110km/h when I came upon a bad s₱0t on the bridge with those loose metals. I cut down speed and swerved – thank God for abs – and partially avoided it but it punctured my right back tire.
 
I swore under my breath. This couldn’t be happening!
 
I stopped the car, well aware that the s₱0t was a dangerous place to be at that time of the night. I assessed the damage and considered whether to change the tire or manage it but I didn’t want to damage the rims. I called Tunde and told him about my unfortunate situation. He laughed and told me the elements were against me today as Christy was about to head home and he couldn’t hold her back much longer as she had to prepare for work the next day. He told me he was sending Tuoyo and Ifeanyi to come and assist me.
 
When I cut the call, I opened the trunk of my car and looked in,side. As I contemplated on how to start, that was when I heard the voices. I looked on and saw three burly “agberos” walking towards me from the little Road Safety shack on the bridge. I didn’t even suspect anybody would be there by this time. As they drew nearer, so did the pungent aroma of marijuana. I was in trouble!
 
“Iwo ati moto tuntun e! Olorun ti mu o loni!!” I heard a coarse voice say. I gripped my wheel spanner and held it behind me.
 
“Chairmen, una well done oh!” I said respectfully but they ignored me. I observed them closely. The one who spoke had an open bottle of Alomo Bitters which he sipped at intervals as he eyed me maliciously. He was as black as the night and he wore a dirty red windbreaker which matched with colour of his eyes. The other two wore matching white t-shirts which had seen better days but they all matched each other in height and stature. The one on the left stubbornly smoked at the tip of what was left of the blunt. There was no way he wasn’t smoking part of the two fingers that held the blunt as well.
 
“Funmi lowo!” Red windbreaker growled.
 
“I nor dey hear Yoruba.” I said quietly as they advanced towards me. I kept my hands behind me. My wheel spanner was w-t from the sweat in my palm.
 
Red windbreaker nodded his head softly which I saw as a sort of signal and my body tensed. His henchmen flew at me and knocked me into the open trunk of my car. The wheel spanner clattered uselessly to the floor. As they struggled to put me in,side the trunk, my free right foot lashed out at the jaw of the first guy and I heard a snap before the scre-m as he fell to the floor. The other assailant took one glance at his hurt comrade and rained battering punches on me. I shielded my head as my left hand now freed from the clutches of the other, searched desperately for anything metal to hold as I struggled to get out of the trunk. I grabbed something which wasn’t metal but I bashed his head with it anyway and got a temporary respite as I forced my way out of the trunk.
 
Red windbreaker watched all this with an amusing expression on his face. He paid no attention to his comrade whose jaw I just broke as he writhed on the floor, clutching his mouth in agony. He just wrapped a big chain around his fist as he prepared for me.
 
“Oh, you motherf-ckers! You just pissed me off!!” I said angrily as I tasted the blood on my l-ips, bouncing and taking a karate stance. I was lucky they didn’t have a gun.
 
“Bring it on!”
 
The white t-shirt guy lunged at me in rage, taking a wild swing which I blocked with my left hand and gave him a karate chop on his neck followed by a firm punch with my right to his sternum. I didn’t get the desired result but he staggered backwards and I followed immediately with a straight kick that connected perfectly with his jaw.
 
“Mogbe!” He yelled in pain as he stumbled and fell. Red windbreaker swung his long heavy metal chain at me with ease and I ducked just in time but it grazed the top of my head, drawing blood. The pain was unbelievable but I had to stay focused because these men would certainly kill me if they bested me. I picked up the wheel spanner as he tried to swing the chain again and danced away from reach. The first guy I’d broken his jaw was up but I swung the wheel spanner and connected with his head and he dropped like dead game without so much as a grunt.
 
The wh0le time of this brawl, I noticed two cars pass but they picked up speed as soon as they realized what was happening and left me to my fate. It was the car that drove in from the Marina on the wrong side of the bridge that saved me. As the headlights zoomed in on us, Red Windbreaker took to his heels, leaving behind his comrades. The guy with the broken jaw was out cold but the other scrambled to his feet and followed suit.
 
“Cowards!” I yelled. I leaned against the car gratefully and caught my breath. I kicked the unconscious dude on the floor in anger but he didn’t respond. The wheel spanner had done a good job. They met the wrong customer today. Tuoyo and Ifeanyi were out of the car, sprinting as they saw the sprawled form of my assailant on the floor.
 
“Shit man! Na you knock this guy out?!” Tuoyo asked with shock.
 
“E nor learn karate for nothing.” Ifeanyi responded with awe. I was too drained to say anything.
 
“Guys, abeg my tyre.” I said tiredly, pointing to my punctured tyre. Tuoyo hurriedly went to work while I and Ifeanyi kept watch, wary of reprisals. We were at the Marina in 15 minutes and as we approached Elegushin beach, my phone rang. It was Tunde.
 
“Dude, how far? I tried my best to hold her back oh. It didn’t work; she just drove out now.” He said apologetically.
 
Damn!
 
@saymalcolm