A GUY NAMED AVAILABLE episode 42 – 44

A GUY NAMED AVAILABLE

Episode 42 – 44

“So this is it? You’re just going to move on like that?” Ndaweni asked angrily.

Henry snapped out of his sleep and he quietly gazed at Ndaweni probably trying to understand the
confusion. I put feet on the ground and attempted to stand up but not fast enough to stop
Ndaweni. He stormed out and I was left staring at Henry. We both stared back at each other
wondering what to say.

“I am sorry” Henry said.
“Sorry that you helped me to sleep when I could have spent the entire night mourning?”
“It was at the expense of your relationsh¡p” he interrupted.
“I am not sure there’s place in my heart for him” I sighed.
“don’t make decisions when you are angry… It’s not healthy” he said calmly.
I rubbed my eyes and walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I was so thirsty for some
reason and my head was pounding early that morning. Henry joined me a little later and he
apologised again.

“Look there’s no need to apologise” I said before gulping down the water.
“I have no idea why I have woken up with this headache” I added
“You had too much sugar last night” he said
“I guess… I wonder what I will be doing today” I sighed.
“It’s a Saturday, perhaps you could watch some movies or something… if its fine by you allow me
to take my leave” henry said
“Ok no problem. Thank you for keeping me company..” I said.

“Anytime and don’t think about it too much… it happens. Try and have your heart in the right
place”
I nodded my head with a slight grin on my face. When henry was out of sight I pulled up a chair
near the kitchen counter and burst into tears as I lay my head on the counter. Memories of what
was and what should have been kept ringing in my head. I was asking myself the same questions
over and over again. “How could I have been so stupid again?”

I had built so much trust for this guy, it’s funny how despite the small red flags I was still giving him
another chance over and over again. I had met many Ndaweni’s in my life and each time they got
better, they were cleverer as time went on and it was hærd to catch them. I wanted love, I wanted
to be married, to start a family and to be referred to as Mrs who or Bana who. I was looking
forward to all that but it just never came, why? How come nearly every lady had all that and I
didn’t? what was wrong with me?
I knew the longer I stayed home the more depressed I would become, I needed something to take
the pain away. It was hærd to forget about Ndaweni especially when he was willing to make it work
and change. Its easier when someone openly rejects you or something. I was dealing with a man
who still told me he loved me and he was dying to make our relationsh¡p work. How could I change
all that? my phone had a number of missed calls from Khetiwe and a whatsapp message from
Ndaweni. It was actually a voice note, he had put all his emotions in that voice note that I couldn’t
help but start crying all over again.
(My love, I know the pain I have put you through. I know how you feel and I know all this you are
doing now is just a way of escaping the pain I have put you through. I can’t forgive myself for
hurting you but I just want you to know this.. I love you Thandiwe and I will always love you. You
mean the world to me, Natasha is a reality I never ever wanted you to know about. I was trying to
clear her out of my life for good without you ever finding out. Yes maybe I was slow but I was
trying. I have not really done myself any good, I have procrastinated a lot but when I met you I was
sure Natasha had to go. I met her when she was in high school and I basically financially
supported her and grew attached to her. It’s been hærd for me to tell her without hurting her
feelings, she had failed to accept and move on for a long time and maybe in the past I didn’t meet
someone I loved enough to give up on Natasha. Thandiwe you are my world and even Natasha
knows this. She knows this for sure and she has accepted. It can never work between Natasha
and I and I know I have delayed this for way too long. She knows and understands now. Now it’s
you I need to understand. Whatever you decide I will accept but I truly love you and I just hope you
can give me another chance. Please honey)
I listened to the voice not over and over again until Ndaweni started calling. I did not want to
answer but I just did.
“baby” he said anxiously.
“where is Natasha?” I asked.
“she has gone back to school. She has understood and..”
“call her.. I want to meet her with you and I want you to tell me everything that you are saying in
her presence”
“no problem honey.. even now I can pick you up and we can go and meet her at school” he said.
“Perfect then” I replied.

A GUY NAMED AVAILABLE 43

Ndaweni did not hesitate to drive to my apartment to pick me up. I didn’t think he would take that
seriously but he did, I had to have my bath quickly and changed into a ski-ny jean and blue
sweatshirt. Just a casual look paired with white canvas to finish off the look.
“you look gorgeous honey..” he said as I stepped into the living room.
Ndaweni was clad in a blue jean and a Manchester united jersey. I gave him a slight grin and
demanded that we left.
“sure” he said as he led the way.
As I locked up my apartment, henry was taking his bin out and I saw him look my direction and he
slowly looked away. Ndaweni did not see him and I was so grateful because the last I needed was
to start explaining myself to him. At this point he still had no idea henry was my neighbour.
“I have a serious question for you” I said as I fastened my seatbelt.

“I’m listening honey..”
“Ndaweni, is Natasha really out of your life?”
“Honey I promise you this and in fact I want us to go there and confirm it. It will make it much clear
as well for her” he said.
Ndaweni drove to the University of Zambia and pulled outside Natasha’s hostel. He picked his
phone and dialled her line.
“Hey… I’m by your hostel come outside” he said
The phone was loud enough for me to hear and I could tell Natasha was not for the idea as she
asked him what he wanted.
“just come down stairs.. I need to talk to you”
“over what?” she asked before she hung up.

I looked at Ndaweni in the eyes and asked him to call her back because I wasn’t going back home
without being sure.
“Honey.. that is proof enough. She already knows the truth hence she cant even face me” he said.
“Ndaweni I am not joking over this matter.. on a serious note im not” I said angrily.
Ndaweni picked his phone and typed a quick message, I had no idea what he said in the message
but Natasha eventually came out. I saw her face turn down when she saw I was in the front seat
but she still walked upto the car. I called her to my window and she politely walked to my side.
“dear please hop in….” I said.
“in the car? No..” she said stubbornly
I noticed her eyes were slightly sore and its clear she had been crying.
“dear please just hop in we won’t be long.. I just need to..”
“to make it more clear that he doesn’t want me? no.. I have heard.. please go” she said.

“Natasha I am just…”
“Thandiwe… am I right?” she asked rudely.
“Yes Thandiwe is my name” I said
“You and your man can leave. You deserve each other… in fact only a desperate woman will stick
around with a man she very well knows is in love with someone else… your boyfriend knows he
can’t leave without me” she said before by passing the car and walking to the sports field.

“Let’s go…” Ndaweni said.
“No” I said before stepping out and following her. Natasha saw me and she increased her pace but
I equally hurried my steps.
“What do you want?” she asked.
There was a rock near the football pitch and she sat there. It had enough room for two people and
I sat next to her.
“I accept the insult, you can call me desperate.. I understand” I said
Natasha looked at me and tears were flowing down her face.
“you think I want to be with Ndaweni knowing he loves you?” I asked her
“Then why are you here?” she asked.
“I am only here because .. well because I wanted to look him in the eyes and be certain that he
was willing to let you go”
“so that what?” she asked.

“my dear, I cannot lie to you.. I love Ndaweni but I cannot be with a man who loves somebody
else. If anything I was only here for closure… just knowing he would have tried to choose me. I
can try to live with that ” I said
Natasha wiped her face and took a deep sigh, her beautiful face was now pale pink from all the
crying.
“Ndaweni and I will not make this work.. you can have him” I said.
Natasha shook her head.

“No… It’s about time. I know its hurts but it will eventually stop. I have cried these tears before and
it is starting to get better. I know postponing the pain will not make it less hurtful. Our relationsh¡p
has failed. It’s high time I accepted. Its not about you and never feel that way. Its been long.. you
can walk away from Ndaweni today but I am not the person that he is going to be with. He will still
be with another. The choice is yours”
I was silent for a while before asking her something I had really wanted to know.
“Dear, If this topic has always been there what were you doing by his house? why did it have to
take me coming in the picture for him to make a decision?”

“If you are going to go through every detail it will not help you. What you want is to reconcile with
Ndaweni and that you should focus on. But if what you wish to know is whether he travelled out or
not the answer is yes. Yes he really did travel for work and no we did not go to siavonga. I knew
he wasn’t home as we talked once in a while. I always had his key and he needed it back at some
point but I lied, I said I had misplaced it. Despite stating that he didn’t think we could go anywhere
he still entertained me around him and honestly some days were assuring. So I told a few lies and
just like you I was just trying to fight for Ndaweni”
I took a deep sigh and looked her in the face.

“How sure can I be that you will never be back in our lives?” i asked her
“Ndaweni looked me in the eyes and told me he had chosen you.. yes in the past he tried to move
on and find someone better but it was always hide and seek. He respected me. I always knew the
woman Ndaweni will disrespect me for will be the one. You are the one. He drove me back to
campus last night and told me to my face that he was ready to start a family and you were his
choice. Congratulations”
My heart was in a state of confusion as I looked at her.

“don’t worry about me. I knew this day would come someday. Honestly Ndaweni played a big role
in my life and he did so much for me, I pray God eternally blesses him and he will definitely have a
happy marriage”
Natasha’s phone rang and she picked up, she begun talking to someone who she told to meet her
in the sports field.
“my journey of letting go started a long time too, its just not been easy but I think I am almost
happy..” she said.

I wondered what she was talking about and I think she read my confusion.
“The guy I was talking to.. I guess you can call him my boyfriend. I may not know what to say to
him when he sees you. Its best we save the unnecessary introductions” she said.
“Ok… I will take my leave then” I said.
“Alright…” she responded.
As I walked to the car park I saw a car pull over next to where Ndaweni had parked and a fine
gentleman stepped out. He looked about 29 or 30. At first I didn’t think of anything until I saw him
pick his phone to make a call and I looked back and I saw Natasha stand up and wave at the guy
as she picked her phone. Ndaweni had lowered his seat and he seemed to have been trying to get
some sleep.
When I got in the car Ndaweni opened his eyes and looked at me.
“I love you” he said.
I said nothing to him, Ndaweni drove off and did not even see Natasha with her other companion
in the sports field.

A GUY NAMED AVAILABLE 44

I looked at Ndaweni closely as he drove, I saw the stress on his face. He looked really tired. I
wanted to bring the topic up but decided to just keep quiet and we headed home. well so I thought,
as the vehicle moved on Ndaweni drove into someone’s yard in Rhodes Park and I wondered
who’s place we were at. My initial reaction was to ask him what we were doing there but I kept
quiet.

“lets go in,side..” he said.
I quietly walked in with him while we left the car outside. in,side was a beautiful house, very huge, I
wondered how many rooms it had. The front part a lawn that was well maintained and some fancy
seats were placed around. As we neared the house I saw the expensive cars in the parking lot and
it was then when my attention drew to the veranda. Someone had pressed the lock button on one
of the cars and I saw it flash, in an attempt to see who did it I looked at the veranda and saw
Ndaweni’s sister. She is one of the sisters I had met at the hospital.
She was already looking our direction so I had no chance but to tell Ndaweni that I was
uncomfortable. She had a blank expression, one that I couldn’t read even when I tried.
“Ndaweni…”she said
“Yes sis… come by to see the big lady” he said.
I figured that was his mother he was talking about and that meant she was out of hospital.
“Hi my dear” she greeted. At this point she had accorded us a smile.
“Halo” I smiled.
“You’re welcome…” she said.
I smiled and said thank you as we finally shook hands and she led the way into the house. As I
walked in, I got the feel that they were more into the vintage arrangement. Vintage but expensive.

The hallway leading to the bedroom had pictures wall to wall, so many memories and
achievements. It was clear at this point that the house belonged to Ndaweni’s mum.
“She is in here… She is awake but she’s not talking much. You can greet her and proceed to
telling her stories if you like. However, she won’t talk much” he said
Ndaweni and I walked in and we found his mum staring at the ceiling, I was already overwhelmed
with pity. She turned to look at him and she smiled.
“my son..”
“mum” he said as he rushed to hold her hand.
She had a P.O.P on her left hand and she looked very tired. Other than that it didn’t look like she
had any other serious damage.
“who is this young lady my son?” she asked as Ndaweni sat at the edge of her bed.

I swallowed hærd at that point wondering what he was going to say. I quickly sat down on a seat
that was right next to the bedside. Ndaweni gently pulled my right arm and made sure my hand
touched Ndaweni’s mums hand. I gently held her and she too gripped my hand gently as she
looked me in the eyes.
“mum she is the woman who has stolen my heart” he said.
My heart skipped at the sound of those words and I simply smiled at his mother as she smiled at
me too.

“You are welcome my daughter” she said.
“thank you mum” I said.
“what is your name?” she asked tiredly.
“Thandiwe” i said.
“oh wonderful name. I am in so much pain my dear.. but the Lord will hear me… I was in an
accident” she said.
“Indeed you will be well mum… we will keep you in our prayers”
“She’s the one who rushed me to the hospital when you were admitted, she spent the night with
me in the waiting lobby” Ndaweni quickly interrupted
“Is it? God bless you my dear… thank you… I wish we could talk I just want to rest”
“mum please rest… its fine.. we will be in the living room for a while” Ndaweni said.

His mother nodded her head and Ndaweni pecked her forehead before we headed to the living
room. Ndaweni’s sister served us juice and cookies and we ate as she mainly asked how Ndaweni
was keeping up with work. We eventually headed to the bedroom to say bye to mum and
Ndaweni’s sister walked us out. She said she would love to see me again in a better more relaxed
setting and I agreed.
When Ndaweni parked outside my house I sighed and looked at him wondering what to say.

“I miss you honey.. I miss us.. I know I hurt you but please forgive me” he said.
I was quiet for some time and Ndaweni told me he would give me time to think things through. I felt
that was best and he took his leave.
I had just settled down in my apartment when I heard a knock.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“neighbour” henry said in a funny voice.
“If you have something nice with you then pleas come in..” I teased.
Henry walked in with a slice of cake in a lunch box. The cake looked rich and well decorated.
“I came that we share this cake” he said.

My love for food did not allow me to ask where he got it from I quickly got forks and we shared a
couch as we ate. As soon as we were done he goes to say..

“This cake was given to me by a female workmate who I suspect likes me. So if she put some love
portion here then I’m afraid you are doomed”
We soon cracked in laughter and remained talking until he retired to bed. I locked up and called it
a night,