© Ayodele Adeoye
‘Would I supervise your spiritual life and also supervise your s€×ual life? s€×uality in marriage does not contaminate spirituality. Bro Solo why have you not touched your wife? I am your pastor and I have been sleeping with my wife for more than 20 years now. Prayer cannot replace s€× in marriage. You are now married and licensed to have s€×. Making love to your wife is no more a sin.’
‘I know it is possible you are a V-rgin but today V-rginity is no longer profitable. If you don’t know how to do it, I am here to teach you. You can ask me any question on s€×. Sis Rose is now yours and by my authority, her parents authority and the authority of heaven you can k-ss her, rom-nce her and sleep with her as many times as is convenient for both of you. The way you rush your first meal after a long chain fasting is the same way I expect you to rush your wife. If there’s any issue, you can confide in me.’
‘Thank you daddy, we shall do the needful as you have counselled’, Bro Solo said. After seeing the Pastor off to the other side of the road where his car was parked, the Pastor turned to the couple and said, ‘Sis Rose ensure you call me later to let me know how everything goes. Bye! Bye!’
When they arrived back at their apartment, Bro Solo begged his wife to let him sort out and discharge all their guests so they could have uninterrupted time together. ‘Let’s do a quick one before you go, when you come back we can relax and have a nice time together.
‘Why are you in hurry to have s€× Sis Rose, sorry dear? How long will it take me to sort out our guests that you can’t wait? Where is the self-control they’ve been teaching us about in church? Are we married because of s€× or to fulfill God’s purpose for our lives?
This is almost 24 hours we have been married, we have not discussed or done anything reasonable than s€×. Must we have s€× immediately after our wedding? Will the s€× run away if we don’t do it today? Why are you so particular about s€× over other things that can add value to our lives and marriage. If we don’t do it today, we can do it tomorrow.’
Sis Rose became worried and highly agitated at this time. Is there anything he is hiding from me? She thought! This is a lacuna of God’s law. *”Marriage is honourable in all, and bed undefiled”.* She questioned the law of God with hundreds of questions. I have kept the bed undefiled all these years, would I still stay away from the bed after marriage? Even if he is not going to make love to me, why won’t he k-ss me, hug me, car-ss me or even give peck. I want to feel like a woman but my man is a shadow of a real man.
I will not allow him go out today, the neighbours must hears us. I am going to make noise about this until third parties come to my rescue. This is no more spirituality but stupidity. ‘Bro Solo, you are going nowhere until you perform your marital duty on your wife. No s€× no going out today. If you step outside there, by the time you come back you won’t meet me in this house again. You can’t be more spiritual than the pastor, you can’t be more catholic than the pope.’
‘Sis Rose this is the work of the devil and we must not permit it. My spirit tells me the devil wants to capitalize on this small issue to cause problems at beginning of our marriage. We must not allow our guests to spend one more night in that hotel or else our bill will be heavy. Please let me go and settle them and I shall give you what you want. ‘You will have to choose between your guests and your wife today,’ Sis Rose replied him.
All the stories I have heard from my married friends on their first night are fantastic. This is a day I have patiently waited for. Why is mine like this? And tears rolled from her eyes down her cheeks. ‘Sis Rose, are you crying? Why are you crying? Okay, sit down let me tell you why I have not touched you since yesterday…’