Thorn between episode 64

TITLE: TORN BETWEEN

WRITTEN BY OGECHI ALABI

URENNA’S NARRATION

URENNA

I watched my mother and father’s relationship move from great to horrible and then to good and finally great again. It wasn’t easy watching them grow apart and then come back together. My sisters had a better understanding of their relationship and the love they shared, but I was clueless. I watched my married sister guide their marriages jealously. I tried to understand why, I saw what happened with my mother and how she initially rejected my twin brothers before she accepted them and treated them as her sons. They continued to live with us since their mother relocated and spent time with their grandfather on their mother’s side. The man was good to them and was full of praise each time he saw them. He prayed for my mother especially for accepting them and treating them as her sons.

My brothers loved my mother and took her as theirs. They were pampered more than I was. People wondered how a stepmother could be this loving to her stepchildren. From the tales I had heard and some I had witnessed, it was generally accepted that stepmothers were evil. But my mother was an exception. Onyedika and Onyekachi never wanted to see my mother upset with them. They were quick to apologise. She never used her dislike for their mother against them. Even when my father commented at one time that Onyekachi had his mother’s character, my mother rebuked it and said he had his character and would never take after another person. Big Mummy was there for everything. They came even before my father and he did not like it at all.

I watched my mother love people unconditionally. My paternal grandmother lived with us and was tendered to by my mother. Auntie Flora wanted her to move in with her, but Mama insisted on staying with Eucharia. She told me, in confidence, that she chose to stay with my mother because Auntie Flora could get angry and say things to her she would hold to her chest. But no matter how you try to offend my mother, she would never use hateful words on you. She was right, my mother never insulted anyone in anger. No matter how hard she tried, she never had an open confrontation with Thelma.

I had an issue with her methods though. As I grew older, I realised she had settled. My father hurt her deeply, and she was quick to forgive and accept him back when she felt she was winning the competition. We never talked about how she felt when the issue arose, we were not involved in the quarrels and settlements. Everyone knew my mother loved my father and my father loved her in return, but as I got mature, I did not see his feelings for her as love but rather as affection.

My eldest sister, Dumebi, had two children with her husband. He adored her just like my father adored my mother. He was good to her and a great provider. But, he enjoyed looking at beautiful women. He couldn’t resist staring at them when they walked past, and the side mirror of his car was used for a convenient view. I also observed that Dumebi was aware of her husband’s antics and from what I could see, she did nothing about it but get angry without addressing the issue. She had lost her self-confidence because she felt her husband might be cheating. She accused him and he always called her paranoid. I knew what she needed to do to put an end to his madness, but Dumebi was difficult to talk to. She was so prime and proper and the whole Ada (first daughter) title made her feel she knew more than everyone else.

One night, we were invited by a family friend to a birthday party. I watched the way Dumebi dressed, she was very conservative which was not a bad thing. But her husband was someone who liked sexy dressing and couldn’t stop looking at such ladies. Given an opportunity, he would talk to them. That was what happened at this party that caused their fight to be almost physical. Dumebi caught him talking to a lady. He was so engrossed that he did not notice her presence. When she stormed out, his friends had to let him know his wife caught him. He went after Dumebi and she almost slapped, luckily I got there in time to stop her. Tunde left her there and went back to the party while I hailed a taxi to take us home. She was fuming and shortly after, she began to cry. I allowed her to cry until she was satisfied.

When we got home, I led her to my bedroom. I had a chat with her and I said, “This man saw something in you that made him marry you, what was that thing? You said he pursued you and was jealous when other men came close, what happened to you? I feel you are too vested in saving the marriage and you have lost yourself in the process of being a prime and proper wife. If your husband stared at other women during courtship, would you have married him? His eyes were only on you. So, what has changed? You have changed. You hide behind clothes that make you look older than your age. You learnt nothing from our mother’s experience to never tolerate bad behaviour. Immediately you noticed it, you should have made him stop the disrespect. Call it what it is. But now, he will twist it that you are jealous. I would not tell you what to do but go and look at yourself in the mirror and remember that Dumebi everyone wanted and resurrect her. That is the solution to your problem. Stop worrying about the children and spend more time with your husband.”

Dumebi was someone who used her initiative. She was also smart and assertive. Tunde’s attitude had gradually eaten away some of her assertiveness, but she was ready to be different. She still worked with the international firm she was with before she got married, and she still had her colleagues who asked her out before she got married. They still made passes but it was subtle and most times a joke.

I left Dumebi and came back to Port Harcourt after my holiday. I resumed three weeks later and then came home because of the ASUU strike. I was at home one day when Tunde came to the house. Our parents never knew we eavesdropped on their conversations with guests and Tunde was no exception.

He was visibly upset. “I do not know what has gotten into Dumi (that was what he called her). She is making my life a living hell. Please call her to order. She is making me feel uncomfortable with her recent behaviour. She told me she has given me a licence to be with anyone I want to be with as long she can do the same. What wife says that to her husband? She dresses as though she is trying to attract men to her. Initially, I thought she trying to make me jealous, but I later found out she was serious. She wouldn’t let me touch her. I am her husband and I cannot touch her. If I do, she gets angry and goes to the children’s room, she would not come back to the room after that. I have asked her if she wants me to bring in another woman since she lags in her marital duties, and she said she did not mind. Why wouldn’t she mind?”

My father was so surprised that he kept quiet while my mother was worried the marriage was falling apart. I realised Dumebi was smarter than I thought. She knew how to get him to breaking point and she achieved it in less than a month.

My father sent for Dumebi. She came to Port Harcourt to see him. I had already told her about her husband’s visit and his concerns on the phone. She laughed so hard that it was infectious. I asked her what happened, but she refused to share it with me. She said I would find out soon enough.

Dumebi came to see our parents as they had requested. When she entered the sitting room, I didn’t know she was the one. She looked different and had transformed. She had on a 24” weavon, her face was beautifully made up, she smelt so nice and when she stood up to greet me, I understood why Tunde had lost his mind. She wore a figure-hugging sleeveless denim dress. It was knee-length, and it showed off her beautiful legs. To worsen the situation, she shaved her legs and they glowed. Dumebi is tall, all of us are. She wore boots with denim. I knew there was no way Tunde would see her looking hot and sexy and not want her to stop her. He wanted her to himself.

When my parents shared Tunde’s concerns, she told them not to lose sleep over the issue. She told her mother she was working out at a gym every day so she could attract a new husband should her marriage end. They were both baffled. My mother preached and all Dumebi did was laugh. She told them Tunde had asked her to choose between the marriage and her job and she chose her job. So, soon the marriage would end.

“Why are you so confident?” my mother asked.

“I already have suitors. Once Tunde leaves, there is a ready.”

My father could see the conversation was heading nowhere and so he ended it. But, it didn’t end there. He woke Dumebi up as early as 3 am and talked to her. He asked her to confide in him because he is a man and he can advise her accordingly. He promised her whatever they discussed would not leave the room unless she tells someone else.

She dropped the act she had perfected and told her father everything that transpired and her fears.

“When he looks at those girls, does he still come back home to you? Do you suspect he has a lover or mistress? Has he ever made you feel less or downgraded you in the presence of his friends and the ladies he likes? When he talks to them, do they exchange phone numbers? I doubt if Tunde would do any of these things. When men talk to beautiful women, it makes them feel as if they are still in the game. You have taught him a lesson enough. Please reconcile with him and both of you should live in peace. He did not accuse you of adultery and you have not accused him too. Do not allow this to escalate and cost you this beautiful marriage. Talk to him about his wrongdoing and make peace. You have been torturing this man. How can he see you looking like this and would not want to be with you? You should allow him to touch you, it is his right to do so.”

Dumebi went back to Lagos without heeding their advice. She made Tunde suffer for another month. Her phone would not stop buzzing when she came home from work (it was planned). Tunde insisted and picked her up from work every day. He did not trust the driver to tell him the truth because they showed loyalty to Dumebi. He tried to impose sanctions on her and insisted she didn’t go out, which caused problems between them. They were having altercations, and this time, it was Dumebi walking away. It felt great to be on the other end.

One night, Dumebi came back late. She had regained her independence from Tunde picking her up from work. The company won a contract and Dumebi was the team lead. As she entered the house, she met Tunde in the sitting room. He asked where she was coming from and she replied work. He flared up.

“There cannot be two men in this house. See what time a married woman is coming home. You might have to leave this job…”

“Tunde,” Dumebi called out to him, “ I am not having this conversation with you. I am tired and I want to sleep. Good night.” She walked away into the bedroom. She took off her clothes and had her bath. She wore her nightgown and then went to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Tunde met her in the kitchen holding her pant. “This pant is smelling like semen. Who were you with this night?”

Dumebi ignored him until she could see he was dead serious. She told him he was being paranoid. “If you continue with this, I will leave and never come back here again.”

“Your lovers have gotten you a new accommodation, maybe even bought you a house. They have promised you heaven and earth. Is that how they got you?”

Dumebi walked away. She went to pack an overnight bag because she was scared Tunde might do something terrible in anger. She had to leave so the issue didn’t escalate. Luckily for her, their children were with Tunde’s parents. Dumebi changed her outfit and as she opened the door to leave, Tunde was there still holding the pant.

“Where are you going?” he asked her.

“I want to leave before things become heated and one of us will attack the other. Allow me to leave, I have called my parents.

”Dumi, you want to leave me?” He fell on his knees and said, “What have I done for you to hurt me like this? What is my offence that you would punish me so severely? Is it wrong to love someone? You have to kill me before I let you go.”

He was sober and was desperate to work things out. When he found out the reason behind her behaviour, he felt ashamed. He did not realise a harmless glance or look at a beautiful woman could have cost him his marriage. He apologised and was sincere. They talked it over that night. Tunde swore on his mother’s life he had not touched another woman since he married Dumebi. Dumebi assured him she did not and would not lay with another man. But she also assured him she would remarry should their marriage become irreparable. Tunde did not believe it would happen to him, but her assertiveness made him wonder if truly she wouldn’t do it.

That was how their issues were resolved. Dumebi did not change her looks. Tunde wanted her in bed with her makeup, weavon unpacked, flower earrings and a sexy night dress. The children spent most weekends with their grandparents while the couple kept themselves busy. And, most importantly, Tunde never looked at another lady again. He understood how she felt and tried to make it up to her.