Thorn between episode 69 – 70

TITLE: TORN BETWEEN

WRITTEN BY OGECHI ALABI

URENNA’S NARRATION 6

The relationship blossomed but Stanley wanted more. He was patient with me for as long as he could. We hung out most times but I refused to go home with him. I explained to him that since we were close, it would not be ideal for us to be alone in private. He laughed at me and asked, “But that is what we are supposed to do, be alone together in private. What exactly are you saying?”

“I am saying our feelings can overwhelm us and we would lose control.”

“And what is wrong with that? Baby, it has been four months and we haven’t even kissed. I look at you longingly every time we meet and you don’t understand that I want you so badly.”

“Want me? I understand that, but I will not perform the duties of a wife for a best friend. If you are serious about me, do the right thing. I can understand if you are not ready yet, that’s fine. I am willing to wait. I have to serve before I can get employment in the civil service. So, I am also willing to wait. You are the first guy I have allowed this level of friendship with. This is because I like you a lot. But, I will still follow my principles.”

“Are you serious? You cannot be serious. What are you talking about? You sound like a child and I find it funny. What are the wife’s duties? What are the girlfriend’s duties? You even called me best friend. How many best friends reserve a day in the week to be with their friends? Even my guys don’t see me that often. You are my girl, nothing like my best friend. If I see any other guy around you he is in trouble; I don’t play with my girl. You won’t kiss me, you won’t let me touch you at all. How am I to know if you can be a wife if I do not sample what you have to offer? Drop this good girl vibes you have been parading, it is only you and I that are here.”

“A wife takes care of the home and is obligated to perform conjugal activities with her husband. A girlfriend takes care of herself, allows the man to observe the kind of person she is and then he can decide if she is what he wants for a wife or not. A wife should support her man, while a girlfriend encourages her boyfriend. It simply means I cannot give you my body when you have not paid the rites. I won’t cook or clean for you either. What I owe you is encouragement.”

I saw the desire drain from Stanley’s face and in its place was confusion. “What are you talking about? What century are you from? I cannot wife someone who I am not sure can satisfy me in everything. I enjoy your company and you have a good head on your shoulder, but I cannot be with a woman I cannot have intimate moments with. You do not allow me to kiss you.”

I felt uncomfortable. It had been an amazing four months and there were times I knew Stanley was struggling with the temptation to go beyond what I was comfortable with. When I did not see him for two weeks and spent that time with my sister and family, he was upset. I was being careful because I also liked him and had become comfortable with him. My major fear was falling into the temptation of starting what I could not control. I had promised my mother I would continue the family tradition of getting married a virgin and I intended to keep it. But the excitement when we were together and when he held me or pecked my neck was different. His touch did things to me. I would not have minded kissing him, but I was scared he would go too far.

“Why are you being so difficult?” Stanley asked me as he came closer to me in the car. “You know how I feel about you, why are you doing this?”

“I am not doing anything, can I go now?”

“And leave me like this?” he asked as he placed my hand on his crotch. I withdrew it quickly. “I don’t want us to do much, I want us to be closer than we currently are. We can go to your room and you can help me with this ache. Honestly, just having this discussion is worsening the situation.” I was alarmed. I told him he could not come up to my room. “We could do something in the car, but we have to find a dark place to do it.” I looked at him in shock. “What?” he asked me. “I can’t leave here without getting relief. You could use your mouth or your hand to help me.”

I was surprised. It was not because what he said sounded strange to me but because he should have known from our interactions that I would do no such thing with him. I felt bad for him.

There was a knock on the window. We both turned to his side to see who it was, it was Peace. She was with another girl I knew. Stanley rolled down his window and they exchanged pleasantries. She didn’t say a word to me.

“I see your vehicle here every week and you have not asked after me for once. That’s not nice.” Peace said to him.

“I am sorry. How are you? Who is your friend?” Stanley asked.

“She is my colleague, Monique. I told her I knew the owner of this car and she doubted me..”

The conversation continued and I felt out of place. I interrupted them by saying, “Excuse me. Stanley, I have got to go. Don’t worry, chill with your friends. We will talk later.” I came down from the vehicle and left. When I got to my room, I saw his car driving off. I was disappointed but decided not to worry too much about it.

I had undressed, bathed, changed into my nightgown and lay down to sleep when I heard a knock on the door. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was Stanley.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I dropped them off and came back to meet you. We haven’t finished our conversation.”

“You can’t be here. We will talk about this another day, I am on call in the morning.”

“‘So what should I do about this?” he asked pointing to his crotch. “Looking at you is making it worse.”

I shut the door, went back in to grab a housecoat and came outside to talk to him. He asked me to let him into my room but I refused. I walked downstairs and he followed me curiously. We stood by the car when I told him, in not a very friendly tone, “I am not one of those girls you were with in the past or your buddies associate with. I am a lady who values herself and knows what she wants. I am principled and nothing can change my mind when it is made up. I chose to be celibate and respect my body. I chose to only lay with my husband and no other man. I will not touch you or any part of your body and I do not want you to touch me either. I understand you are not ready for the commitment, but this is where I stand. Respect my wishes and do not bring up this issue again. I am not a kid you try to deceive to get laid, I am too mature and educated for that crap. So please, I won’t say this again.”

Stanley looked at me expressionless as I spoke to him. When I was through he asked me, “So truly you have never kissed a guy before? No one has touched you? How do you cope? Girls say the ovulation period is when they are the most vulnerable, but it doesn’t shake you. I honestly don’t think I can be faithful to you. I am a man with needs. When I see you, I get excited, what am I to do? It has taken so much from me not to rush you. I wish I could wait, but it is proving difficult.”

“I understand perfectly. It takes discipline to remain celibate and not all of us have it. I love your honesty. We can remain just friends and that’s it. I can’t offer anything more.”

The conversation ended there and I understood his predicament because I was facing the same. He was handsome and charming. He said the right things and knew how to make a woman happy. When he was physically very close to me, I felt something. It was the reason I stopped being alone with him. I would miss the times we spent together.

Monique and I were on the same shift the following week. She tried to be friendly, but I did not encourage it. She told me Stanley was handsome and I thanked her for the compliment. Friendship with her rude and condescending self was a no for me. I didn’t encourage the small talk.

I came back to the lodge one evening and I saw a car parked away from the lodge. The vehicle looked familiar, but I did not pay any attention. As I walked upstairs, I saw Peace and Monique coming down the stairs well dressed. They walked past me without exchanging pleasantries. I thought to myself, “Wasn’t it the same Monique seeking my attention the other day?” As I got to my floor I curiously looked at the vehicle as I watched them get in. There was something familiar about it and I wondered why the car was parked a distance away trying to be out of sight.

The following day, I got a message from Stanley. It simply said:

Teach me self-discipline because it is hard.

I miss you so much that my heart hurts.

I messed up, Please forgive me.

I smiled at his message. He knew the right words to use and he always had his way. I was not quick to respond when he called me.

“You have moved on so fast meanwhile I can’t stop thinking about you. You stole my heart away and now I am empty without you. Please, I would love to see you today. Lunch or dinner is on me.”

I was ambushed into accepting because he refused to accept my excuses. It made me happy that someone so handsome, stylish, and running a profitable company desired me. I knew some of my colleagues envied me but I did not care. I cared about Stanley but I cared more about my promise and my desire to keep it.

Read – When fate strikes episode 43 – 46

TITLE: TORN BETWEEN

WRITTEN BY OGECHI ALABI

URENNA’S NARRATION 7

We became serious again in a short time. He showed me off to his friends and invited me to his office party as his girl. He went a step further by shopping for me. I loved my outfit because it spoke class and it defined me. I had to impress his partners and colleagues, so I went to Dumebi for a nice purse and shoes. She was a jewellery and designer freak. She said it was a Yoruba thing and I understood she had to match up. She gave me a lovely purse with gold and silver blinging stones and I tried on a new pair of shoes she had never worn. It was also gold and silver shoes. It matched my purse and I knew I was good to go. Dumebi advised me to have my hair done and look amazing. I took her advice. I went to the topmost hair salon in Surulere to have my hair done.

Stanley was supposed to pick me up, but he was running late and had to get to the venue. He sent his driver to pick me up from the lodge. I had never met him (the driver) before until he put a call through to me. Then he asked me if I would not mind him picking up another person. He assured me she would sit in front and not disturb me. I knew it was either Peace or Monique or both of them and I did not want to hang out with them. I told the driver to pick them up instead and I would find my way to the venue. After a few minutes, Stanley called me back.

“What’s up? One of my guys begged me to help pick up Monique while I was picking you up. I had no intention of annoying you that’s the reason I asked the driver to ask you first before calling her. If you do not want her to come with you, I will arrange a taxi for her but please just come, I will be waiting for you outside. Let me know when you are close.”

“She can come, but I would rather not have interactions or conversations with her. I am going downstairs.”

She joined us. She attempted to sit beside me at the back of the vehicle, but the driver insisted she sit beside him. She was surprised I did not utter a word. I did not want to have any interactions with her. The driver called Stanley when we were close and he came outside the hotel to receive me and walk me in. When I got out of the car, he was shocked and couldn’t hide it.

“You are so stunning you took my breath away. Come with me.”

We left as he walked with me into the hotel and then the hall. All the while he did not ask for Monique or utter a word to her. He greeted people and introduced me. I felt special because everyone loved my look. I stood out, and it felt good. I fed Stanley’s ego that night because he presented, not just a beautiful lady but also an intelligent one who could hold any conversation. I met people I had only heard about and movers and shakers of his industry. He pulled a good crowd and impressed them.

“The two of you look good together; when are you tying the knot?” an elderly woman asked us.

“Soon, she is already mine,” Stanley replied. I just smiled.

Stanley had to leave me alone to attend to some business. A man walked up to me and we talked for a while. He was an interesting company and we talked about so many things. He seemed to know much about my field. We had a small argument about service delivery in the medical field. While I complained of excessive work and being understaffed, he said it was not a good reason to treat people badly. I agreed with him. But with the right incentive, everyone would do the right thing.

“By the way, I was Collins.”

“Urenna. Nice to meet you.”

“Same here. I can see you are Stanley’s girl. He is a nice guy. Has he proposed?”

I laughed and said, “No, he hasn’t. We are not ready for marriage right now.”

“He has to hurry before vultures steal you away. He said you were beautiful, but I never knew he was understating a fact.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

“You are also good company. Can we hang out some times? I enjoyed talking to you today, and I would love to do it again.”

“I would not have minded but two things are the problem. One, I have a day off in a week. I work a minimum of eighteen hours shift and most times all I want to do is rest. On my day off, I spend it with Stanley and my family. So I don’t have time to hang out.”

“You just shot down my proposal in the most interesting way I have ever heard. My problem with your commitment to Stanley is this, is he committed to you? I know Stanley and know about you. Stanley loves you because you are different from what he is used to. Every man likes a challenge and you are giving him one. He wants to woo you and maybe marry you. What happens after? He knows you have a strong Christian background and divorce is out of the question. When he maltreats you and you can’t leave, what happens?”

“I can leave at any time because no one owns me. I am not desperate for marriage or even a relationship, I am happy being single. I’m a principled girl doesn’t make me a religious person, I am not. I believe in God but I do not practice it the way others do. So, if I make a mistake with my life partner, nothing stops me from changing him. I will never be unhappy all my life because I married someone who changed after marriage, it won’t be me.”

“It’s easier said than done. You sound like these feminists on social media. How many men will you go through before it dawns on you that most men are not to be trusted, including me?”

“Two men and I will remain celibate afterwards.”

“That’s nice. I hope to be the second guy and remain with you forever. Stanley is a nice guy but you deserve someone better.”

“Don’t we all!”

Collin’s words struck a chord in me but I pretended to be alright. I looked out for Stanley, he was nowhere in the hall. I was stuck with Collins and I felt uncomfortable. Someone came to join us and our conversation changed. Collins looked me in the eye when he talked to me. It showed confidence and power. I looked into his eyes right back, daring him.

After about an hour, the person left and I was stuck with Collins again. He looked at me and said, “Where is your man? He cannot be faithful to you while you remain celibate, it is not in him.”

“I know and I understand.”

“Now I know why he doesn’t joke with you, you are an understanding girlfriend. He went to get his fix after all the big shots have left. I will be leaving soon. I want to ensure you are safe before I leave.”

Stanley joined us at that moment. He looked disturbed and asked, “I hope Collins has not been bothering you or filling your head with negative conversations about me. He is my cousin and always wants to have what I have.”

“Is that so?” I asked.

Collins smiled at me and said, “I have to leave now. He is here to take care of you. You left her alone for close to two hours, what were you doing? Can you confidently tell her?”

“Collins, I would hate to disrespect you, leave my woman and I alone. Do you hear me? My woman is happy with me, so mind your business. If you can’t score a girl without stealing from one of your boys, then there is a problem. She is mine and will remain mine.”

Collins didn’t respond. He wove to me and left. I was also tired from the whole event and asked Stanley to send a driver to take me home. He agreed and also led me to the waiting vehicle. He pecked me and I left.
We didn’t talk about the issue again.

I was posted to the General Surgery department and I was happy for the change. As we were being introduced around, I saw Paschal again. He grinned at me and called me Miss Prim and Proper. He asked how I was getting along and I said fine. He asked if I remembered his name. I didn’t but they introduced him as Paschal Duru and I remembered him.

Our paths crossed so many times and he still called me the name he gave me. He made me work harder than others and brought me closer to learn. I worked with him and he took me under his wing. He was gentle with me but strict with others.

One morning he saw me alone and came up to me. He said, “I was asked to stay away from you because you are married. I didn’t see a ring on your finger so I didn’t believe the story. Are you married?” I laughed and shook my head. “So why was I told to stay away from you? Are you engaged?” I shook my head again, smiling this time. “If you are not engaged, then you must be in a serious relationship, is that it?”

“I am in a relationship. But who told you to stay clear?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter. Do you want me to stay clear?” He in turn asked me and I shook my head. “Then it is settled. There is no time for relationships now, it is time to work and learn as much as you can.” He went on to preach to me and I nodded, not paying much attention.

Paschal was a workaholic and that was what my colleagues hated about him; they didn’t want to work under him but I didn’t mind. I worked for a seventy-two-hour stretch sometimes. It was tiring and stressful. I needed to take a two-week break and travel outside the country. I wanted to visit a country by myself. My mother didn’t like the idea, but I was adamant about going. I was to visit Namibia.

Stanley hated my new work schedule and complained bitterly about it. Trying to explain to him was like hitting a brick wall. I understood his tantrums until he mentioned me working closely with a male doctor. How did he know that? I guessed he was talking to someone and that someone was either Peace or Monique so I asked him who told him, but he was more interested in me working closely with a male doctor.

“Where do you see Peace or Monique for them to be spies for you?” I asked.

“It has nothing to do with them. This is about us. I don’t want you working under that man. You are with him more than you are with me.”

“Beautiful ladies work for you, how many have I asked you to sack because I was insecure? None. Dr Paschal is my boss and my mentor. Anyone who is not happy about it should do whatever they like but I am working with him.”

“Is there something more between the two of you?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know what to think, Urenna. All I know is that I can’t share you with anybody. Not even one loser doctor. I can understand someone like Collins, but not this guy.”

I was confused. Why did he feel threatened by Paschal? I wasn’t threatened by any of the ladies he was friendly with. Now he mentioned Collins, I felt I could take advantage of it. “Collins told me you would never be faithful to me in my celibacy. So who is the lucky girl you are using as a stopgap?”

“I am celibate too. We are celibate together. Collins has been obsessed with you since he saw you when we first met. He begged me to give you up for him, but I refused. He will say anything to get you, but he has no intentions of marrying you; he wants to bed you and move on.”

“Don’t you all?” I asked him.

Stanley flared up, “What do you mean by that? If I was only interested in bedding you, I would have done that the week we met. Do you think I cannot have my way with you? It is very easy, but I refused to do what my friends do to women who prove difficult. It is because I love you that I am still with you even with all the restrictions. Doctors have sex with their fellow doctors and nurses on call. What if he is getting what I want and I am here waiting for a fruit already eaten? I want the whole of you, and I mean it.”

It didn’t end there. The Paschal issue came up many times until I was posted out of his department. I had to thank him for teaching me endurance and perseverance while working with him. He was passionate about his work and was never rude to patients or ignored them. He was humane when dealing with anyone although he was also very strict when you make mistakes. He never shouted at me.

After I left General Surgery, I went to Gynaecology and Obstetrics. I worked almost round the clock there and also got two days off. I, accumulated my days so I could travel. Stanley changed my plans and instead took me to Portugal. I was excited to travel there, but I was not comfortable being alone with him. He got us different rooms and we had a wonderful time, just the two of us. We talked about our future at length. I could sense Stanley was serious about us being together and I loved it. Before we came back, we went out together and when we got back, Stanley wanted us to stay in his room and talk but I declined. He begged for a kiss but I refused. He looked at me and asked, “How do you sleep at night knowing you are making a young man like me beg for something he can get freely? You are stubborn and I know how to cure stubbornness but not here.”

Tbc