Heart Desires – Episode 3

HEART DESIRE – Episode 3
A story by Jochrine Kunda
VERONICA
***Compact powder and mascara was the final touch as I did a 360° turn in the mirror and was satisfied with the pink short dress, loose hair and gladiator sandals I wore. I then called out for Jane who was in the neighborhood playing with her friends and she came in all dusty, I helped her bath then dressed her in a green dress and matching sandals, I then tied her hair in two messy buns. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and asked myself if I was good enough to capture Mwelwa’s attention since the last time we met and prayed he’d fall for me, I had a hærd time being in committed relationsh¡ps because it’s either I wanted someone with a thick pockets to take care of me and Jane or the man would just dump me after learning of Jane’s existence. I knew Blessings would be against the idea of Mwelwa falling for me but I couldn’t fight the feeling and mom never knew about the meeting because she was at the market where she sold vegetables. I got a taxi which drove me to the mall then I located the restaurant he said we would meet at, I got in and s₱0tted him seating in a corner then he waved at me when he saw me, I couldn’t believe how handsome and good looking he was since the last time we met him which was 4 years back then I finally got nervous and my palms started sweating as I got closer to him. He pulled a chair for me sit and he went to his then a waiter immediately arrived and we placed our order
“Such a gentleman”
I thought to myself
Mwelwa: you look more beautiful compared to the last time I saw you
***I blushed**
Me: guess I was young then, you’re not bad yourself
Mwelwa: really? I thought the chalk dust would make me grow old
***I laughed***
Me: but it didn’t
Our order arrived then he looked at Jane and he smiled widely
Mwelwa: she’s beautiful and looks just like you
***She really was a replica of mine then my mind instantly drifted off to the time when he neglected her before she was born and what I went through alone but I quickly brushed the thought off***
Me: yeah she’s beautiful
***I managed to say***
Mwelwa: Veronica, I’m really sorry for what I did years back and want to make things right, I want to be a part of Jane’s life…….and…yours if possible
***That was the moment I was long awaiting and I already had my answer which was a “yes” but I had to play “hærd to get” because people would judge me for letting my baby daddy and one who rejected his child for that matter walk back into my life at his first proposal***
Me: Mwelwa, you rejected us and I had to go through child birth alone, I had to drop out of school, I had to undergo criticism at the hands of society, it wasn’t easy yet you’re here saying you want to build a relationsh¡p with Jane
Mwelwa: please don’t keep her away from me, I’ve realized my mistake and want to make things right. Babe we can make things work, we can be a happy family and raise our daughter together
Me: what happened to your wife? The one you chose over your daughter
Mwelwa: I’m letting her go
Me: meaning?
***I thought my ears were deceiving me***
Mwelwa: I’m divorcing her
Me: why?
Mwelwa: she hasn’t been able to bear any child for the five years that we’ve been married so mom advised me to divorce her coz her type is the one which aborts a lot of pregnancies in their teenage years then have difficulties conceiving in future but I choose you Veronica. I know that I hurt you in the worst way possible, I shattered your dreams and made you lose your mother’s trust and for that I’m begging that you give me a chance to do what I had to in the first place
Me: let me take time to think about it first
Mwelwa: sure please just don’t shut me out
He then offered to do Jane’s shopping and mine as well and who’d decline such an offer? I gladly accepted, it was a meeting to remember we walked out of the store with our hands filled with shopping bags, he probably might have spent his monthly income on us but was I complaining? No because I felt that it had to be that way, it made me feel like I was somebody after been looked down upon by people in the neighborhood and u couldn’t wait to finally be his wife. He drove us home with me occupying the front seat and dropped us off by the corner of our street, I got home and threw myself on the bed in excitement of how good my life would be while Jane giggled…
************
BLESSINGS
***I was lucky one evening when I emptied my bucket very early which made me happy coz grandma would spare me some torture but my mood dropped from 100 to 0 when I met Ba Bwalya’s wife with her sister and they blocked my way with disgusted looks on their faces
“Just what I needed to ruin my day”
I said to myself
Me: good evening ma’am
Mrs B: good evening rubbish you rat, so you won’t stay away from my husband after warning you several times, right?
Me: I d….
Mrs B: SHUT UP! you AIDS ridden pr-stitute, I wonder why children of nowadays have no limits because my husband is old enough to be your father but you still want to be his wife
***She grabbed my neck***
Mrs B: now you’ll tell me what it is that my husband has that you can’t find in a man your age?
Me: I don’t want to marry him
***She tightened the grip***
Mrs B: you haven’t answered my question
Me: noth…nothing
***She let me go and I coughed hysterically***
Mrs B: now you’ll keep away from my husband, turn to the opposite direction when you see him and if he sees you first pray for the ground to open up and swallow you otherwise nc nc nc
***She shook her head***
“You’ll face the consequences of messing with Bana Kabwe the great sangoma’s daughters. You are going to die of that disease so you want many to die with you devil”
Her sister added and I had heard enough so I walked away and they kept insulting me, I knew I was going to die sooner or later but they didn’t have to remind me always. I was always afraid to go home because of the slave that I was so I passed by Veronica’s house coz I knew she’d make me feel better and there was no better chance coz I couldn’t leave the house once I arrived home. I quickly walked there and found her bathing Jane, I could tell that she was in a good mood from the way she was singing, we went to her bedroom while she dressed up her daughter and I told her about the Mrs Bwalya incident and she got angry ready to kill so I just had to calm her down coz she could fight her like she did to other women considering her level of craziness which earned her respect in the community. She was still breathing fire and swearing to do her worst when they crossed paths so I quickly changed the topic
Me: how did the meeting with Mwelwa go?
Veronica: fine
Me: what did he want?
Veronica: he wants to build a relationsh¡p with Jane and I told him to have both our parents involved……but..but I can’t keep her away from him, I feel it’s wrong
***She shrugged her shoulders***
Me: you’re actually following the right path coz Jane would put the blame on you for keeping her away from him. It’s best that he only wants to build a relationsh¡p with her and not you otherwise I would have beaten him up pretty bad
***She laughed out loud***
Me: I’m serious
Veronica: why?
Me: you ought to move on, you deserve better
She smiled while nodding her head slowly and we talked about different things until I lost track of time, I rushed home where I got a beating from grandma who accused me of meeting up with some man and I went to bed on an empty stomach. Finding sleep wasn’t easy as I kept on tossing and turning while my stomach rumbled coz I didn’t eat a thing the wh0le day, I got up a bit late since I was only going to a health center for my medication. I did my hygiene process then wore a black, long dress, red worn out shoes and my old school jersey, I walked the streets in admiration of every edible thing I set my eyes on and felt dizzy from time to time but I still managed to get there. I had to stay there long until it got hot and I took off my jersey before I was directed to some office where I knocked severally until I almost gave up
“Don’t break the door you may come in”
It was a woman’s voice so I went in and found a fair in complexion, short lady who was almost my age but she focused her attention on her phone
“Yah?”
She said without even looking at me
“Ummm….good morning ma’am”
I managed to say but she didn’t respond so I drew closer and repeated myself but she still didn’t answer and kept smiling at her phone until some time when she put it aside and indicated for me to take a seat which I did
“How can I help you?”
She asked without keeping her gaze off me
“Is this a health institution or law firm?”
I asked myself as I looked around because the atmosphere wasn’t friendly
“You didn’t come to stare at my office, did you?”
She asked me then I quickly snapped out of it
“Umm….I’m sorry I’m here for my medication”
I told her and she looked at me with disgust
“I’m sure we’ve never met before so you don’t expect me to know what medication has been prescribed for you”
She said with sarcasm in her tone
“Ohh I’m sorry, it’s anti retroviral drugs”
I told her and she clicked her tongue
“You’re the very same people who are breaking people’s homes because you don’t care who contracts the disease and you just freely open your legs to every man who approaches you coz you want them to fall victim like you did”
She had no remorse
“Now who told this woman that the disease was only contracted by sleeping around with men”
I asked myself but came back to when reality when I heard her still talking
“You can just die already rather than spread that disease”
I still couldn’t believe that I was getting that from a health worker and didn’t notice that my tears were flowing and she didn’t stop rubbing salt to the wound until I couldn’t take it anymore so I covered my face with my jersey and ran out but then I bumped into something hærd, the person’s cologne hit through my nostrils and I later felt a hand on my upper arm
“Are you okay?”
He had such a sweet voice that I’d listen to all day but I still didn’t uncover my face and the devil spoke
“This is exactly what I’m talking about, stay away from my man you worthless b***h”
I could tell that she was breathing fire while she approached so I managed to find my way out and exhaled loudly, I didn’t notice that I’d held on for so long. I left the premises with everyone looking at me and I walked the streets and turned to some drug store which was owned by grandma’s friend so I told her to give me some pills and lied that I was sent by grandma who would pay for them
“It all ends today coz I don’t have the strength to carry on, I can’t live life like someone who has been cursed by God, I also didn’t call this upon myself so why should I suffer this much?”
I wiped my flowing tears and walked home….
To be continued…