Stella’s diary episode 34 – 35
🌺🍓 STELLA’S DIARY 🍓🌺
(The Girl I Am 💖)🎶
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Written By 🖋️🖋️🖋️
Damilola Faleke M 📚📚📚
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Chapter 34
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🌺 Karen’s pov continues 💖
“Ma’am Karen?” She called again surprised her eyes going to the shattered frame on the floor.
” I…. I’m… Sorry” I shuttered.
“Sorry? For what? I don’t mean to be disrespectful but this is really bad. I never let you in neither did I even describe my location for you, now tell me, do you steal? Cause I see no reason of you sneaking into my house and also holding my brother and I photo frame in your hands” she said rushing her words not even giving me space to speak.
“I’m sorry Stella, I should have knocked, I promise it would never happen” I apologized.
” Your think sorry it’s so easy, just imagine if it was someone else’s house, they could have gotten you arrested for intruding, it’s totally wrong. Now give me one good reason you’re here just one” she said staring at me.
I was out of words cause I was still shaken by what I just found out. I never knew my daughter whom I abandoned was right beside me almost from the time I began the search, no wonder I felt so drawn to her from the beginning. The painful part was what she told me last week of her accepting her mum abandoned her cause she’s unwanted, I never knew that woman was me, my beautiful daughter, the one I felt like nurturing from the beginning but couldn’t find that opportunity.
It was Stella again who snapped me out of my deep thoughts.
“Ma’am Karen, there is no cause to be silent in this issue” she said
” I’m sorry Stella, I’m really sorry for intruding please find a place in your heart to forgive me, I meant no harm, just wanted to pay you a surprise visit but it turned out wrong” I said sadly and she sighed.
” It’s okay, I’ll clear this mess” she said referring to the broken pictures on the floor.
” No, I’ll” I argued
“You don’t have to bother about it, I’ll do it” she argued
” No at least I should do it, I’m so Much at fault here, maybe if I do it I’ll feel less bad” I said
” I insist” I added but before ahe could even agree the door barge open.
” Stella, you wouldn’t believe this” a voice said from the door before slamming it and walking towards our direction, it was then I discovered it was Jason.
He had a smile throughout until his eyes fell on me.
“You again?” He said staring at me confused, oh my! He still recognizes me from the incident at the taxi area.
“I think I have to go now” I said turning to leave
“No, what do you want ma’am, this is becoming quite ramp-nt and I don’t know you, you have to explain to me what you’re doing here” he said and I was confused on what to say to him. I opened my mouth but no words came out until Stella came to my rescue.
“It’s nothing she just came to see me, we’re very close friends” Stella explained
” Friends? But she looks weigh different from your level, I mean she should be the age of mum or something” he said and my heart skipped a beat.
“You should make friends with your age group and not people who embarrasses me on the street” he said
” What are you saying?” Stella asked.
“Uhmm… I really have to go now” I said walking away gladly no one could stop me this time.
” Alright Karen, we have alot to talk about tomorrow” she said in a friendly tone probably because her brother was there. But I knew what she meant.
I was still sobbing trying to hail a cab, I just couldn’t get over the fact that Stella is my daughter, and I finally found my two years old kid I left. I recognized Jason wherever I go, cause we were together in the bond, I trained him for two years. But why I never recognized Stella, was the fact that she was still a baby when I left her. I couldn’t even see her face, they just told me I have a baby girl which I named in my heart, without even touching. But I fled like a coward, due to what I’ve been through, making the biggest mistake in my life, leaving my children behind!
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🍏 Stella’s pov 💛
“You were rude Jason” I said a while after mam Karen left
“Did you say rude? I was being my nicest, that woman is a big time stalker and I know there’s something more to her we actually need to find out, I really don’t know why you’re hanging out with you, she may be up for some plans.” He said
” What are you even talking about?” I asked
” Oh! It seems I never told you of my first experience with her” he said
” You’ve met before? ” I asked surprised
” As you can see, on my second day in search of a job, my way home in the cab section, she surprisingly called my name” he explained and I was left wondering.
” She called your name? ” I asked
“Yes, I was kinda reluctant to answer but you know she never gave up. And the most surprising fact is that she was calling me her son” he said
” Her son? ” I asked astonished
” Uhmm… Yh.. she was looking really sure about what she was saying and was beginning to embarrass me in public so I had no choice than to take the next cab available to escape more of it” he explained
” You’re right Jason, there’s really more to her, alot” I replied in deep thoughts
” Why are you suddenly acting this way about it. I thought you said I was rude” no Jason, hearing your story now, I discovered that there’s so much more in front of me” I said sincerely.
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The next day
I rushed into the school, to nowhere but Karen’s usual s₱0t, I wasn’t late giving me more time to see into this case. I couldn’t really believe what I discovered, could she be my mother? That’s gonna be ridiculous cause I’m definitely not going to accept.
“Hey dear, I’m glad you’re here, I was already starting to find a way to see you. I really want to apology about yesterday” she said but I kept mute.
” Stella. Is there anything the matter? ” She asked.
” Tell me the truth Karen what were you doing in my house yesterday with my brother’s and I picture in your hands? ” I asked, and she stared at me confused just the way I was.
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🍈 Smith’s pov 💖
I came in so early, just to drop those flowers and letter in Stella’s locker, I know people may be already wondering why I’m still in this school since my plan failed woefully, but it isn’t surprising toe anymore cause there have been changes.
My plan was to distract Jeremy and take over his position, but right now, it seems I’m no longer interested in that plan. Meeting Stella really destroyed everything for me, cause it was recently I discovered I’m developing feelings, feelings I don’t want to stay but it keep pushing itself in, it’s really so annoying, but I’m ready to accept the fact. I never thought I would ever fall for a girl like her considering the kind of person I am, I really need to find myself. But now I also need to make sure she forgives me from her heart.
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🍏 Stella’s pov continues 🍏
“Ma’am Karen I know there’s something you’re hiding and I want you to tell me cause no one is gonna like the result of this?” I said quite angry cause she wasn’t given me replies.
” Stella I’m serious, I just came to pay you a visit, nothing more to it” she explained
” So you coming into my house, holding my brother’s and I picture intensely with years in your eyes doesn’t say anything, huh?” I said
” No I mean….
“Why don’t you just tell me you’re my mother already” I said cutting her in and she stared at me with her mouth agape looking more than surprised.
She opened her mouth to speak but no word came out .
“I thought you say you were in desperate search of your kids, but I just discovered it was all a lie” I said
” Stella, that’s not true?” She said sadly in tears.
” So you finally agreed huh?” I asked and she nodded slowly.
” you may be my biological mother, but I’ve already accepted, that I was made to live without the support of both my parents. You can imagine, my father and mother aren’t dead, yet I’m left all alone in this wicked world” I said in anger, I couldn’t even cry again cause I’ve cried enough.
“Stella I swear I didn’t m…” She tried saying but I cut her in.
” You don’t owe me anything explanation, I’m glad I found out, cause I’m finally gonna let out the words I’ve been holding in. You may be my mother but 10 years ago, I accepted I had no parent
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Chapter 35
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🍅 Karen’s pov 💛
“Stella please don’t say that, I swear I never meant to live you alone, I agreed I was a coward leaving my kids behind, but till now, that remains the biggest mistake in my life” I said sadly. I knew she was gonna find out anytime soon, so I was already ready for the way things would turn out.
“You know what, I’m done talking to you, I grew up without any parental love or care, so why the hell I’m I gonna need one suddenly? To show the fact of how rejected I am. My own mother left me in the hospital when I wasn’t even up to a week and my father left me before I clocked ten, isn’t that fascinating? ” She said smiling which I knew was part of her sarcasm act.
” I already explained that to you Stella, please forgive me” I said in tears but she gave no reply.
” Stella, I love you so so much, and can never leave you just like that, I was so stupid, I didn’t know what I was even thinking leaving my beautiful daughter and lovely son behind. I thought doing that was going to help me rid away my abused past, I thought it was going to make me happy again, but I never knew that was gonna be my biggest challenge, the part which hunted me all through my life. So many life time juicy opportunity came across my way while I was in new York, but they just weren’t working out for me the way I wanted, seeing women of my age, dropping their kids of at school, buying them gifts with smile on their faces even while they lacked the support of their husbands, I felt more like a coward, and that’s why I decided to come here, to look for you, to show you how much I love you and your brother, Stella I can go down on my knees if only I can get your forgiveness, please forgive me” I said and she was crying. She suddenly walked away crying.
” Stella wait” I called and she looked back at me
“I’m not waiting, I don’t need you in my life, you or that man who calls himself my father, if I knew I was going to end up with irresponsible parents, then I would have stayed in heaven and never plan to be on this damn earth” she said walking away angrily. I swear those words of hers shocked me to the marrow, I never thought any one’s words would hurt me that way, she’s right I’m an irresponsible mother, I don’t blame her for wishing she never met me, I’m an excuse of a mother.
Right now, I know Stella would never open her eyes to forgive me, so I know the right thing to do, Jason is wiser.
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❤️ Stella’s pov 💛
I ran off crying, I was leaning on the wall where no one could see me, the Parking lot, everyone would be preoccupied, no one should be hanging out here.
I can’t believe it, I knew there was something about her, no wonder the feelings of being drawn to her, now it all makes sense, I feel really stupid. I was never lucky with love and care, now she suddenly shows up telling me folklores, I’m never gonna believe her.
I’m I ever gonna find happiness in my miserable life? Things keep popping out the way I don’t want it to, it’s just so devastating to me. I’m I ever gonna fulfill my one last desire? Would I ever be the girl I want? Sometimes, things seems like they are all working out, the boom, it turns the other way round, should it be so?
I was sitting on a tiny rock sobbing when someone snapped me out.
I looked up and quickly wiped my tears seeing who it was.
“Have this” Jeremy said pointing a napkin to me.
“You know what Stella, I never knew you to be like this, the one who sits alone crying” he said looking quite concerned.
” I’m not crying” I denied.
“Really, you should have came up with a better like stella” he replied
” I have to go now” I said trying to walk away but he blocked me.
” I’m not letting you go looking like this, it’s my duty to make you feel better” he said and I finally gave up sobbing again.
He sat me back on the rock sitting beside me, we were now staring directly at the school garden which was fenced with hedges.
“Now talk to me Stella’s he said calmly
” Seriously, I don’t think you would ever understand” I replied
” I’ll, trust Me” he replied and I nodded
“No one cares about me” I said crying
“Are you serious Stella? Who put that idea in your mind? Look, even if you think no one does, I can’t hide the feeling that I really care about you” he replied surprising me.
” You do? ” I asked surprised still feeling sad though.
“I never knew about emotions Stella, but meeting you and opening up to you, made me understand a little what this life is really about. Thinking no one cares for you, is a total mistake huh? Now stop the tears” he said reaching out for a tear dropping from my eyes sending shivers.
“Thanks Jeremy” I replied sniffling
“It’s nothing, now tell me what even brought about this?” He asked
“It’s a long story Jeremy, I’ve never told anyone before, not even Olivia” I replied
” You can count on me Stella, I’m here till I’m sure you’re okay” he replied and I couldn’t stop wondering why he suddenly cares, he was the snubbing type who always wanted to be alone, don’t really know why he suddenly changed towards me
I told him the story of how my mum left me from birth , till my dad leaving us for another woman and how we struggled to survive, and even Olivia being my main grace of beig in this school, excluding the part of finding my mum, it’s gonna sound weird, right?
There was some minutes of silence between us before he finally spoke
“I never knew you’ve been through all this Stella” he said but I couldn’t find a reply to give him.
“You know, sometimes, I do think I’m the only one going through hærd times in this world but I guess I was wrong, you’ve been through more Stella, growing up without the love or support of your parents is really disheartening” he said
” I guess so, it’s something I’m already used to, being on my own, hoping one day I’m gonna fulfill my dreams” I replied
” I know you would” he replied
” Thanks Jeremy, you really cheered me up” I said and he smiled
” Why don’t you tell me about yours, you seem to have a story to tell” I replied
” Like I said Stella, I thought I had a heart breaking story but I was totally proved wrong hearing yours” he said
” Just tell me, I said anxiously
“Well I grew up with my mum alone” he said
“What about your dad?” I asked confused
” He’s in new York according to my mum I’ve never seen him before, he owns a country music industry over there, my mum said I got my talents from him” he explained
Wow
” But why aren’t you all together? ” I asked
” Well my mum got pregnant for me before he actually proposed marriage to her. As a young lady, everyone tripped over him, so he took that advantage of her, being naive and young, she feel into his trap, got pregnant for him. Informing him, he totally denied me, calling her and the baby in her womb, being me, names. He totally called her a slut, he also said he never loved her nor care for her, called her a fool for falling into his trap, denying her. She had planned on aborting me but decided to move on through the help of my grandma who stood by her, and from then, my mum nursed me with depression. I shared in it, despite the talent I found myself in, I was never happy. Felt the pain of my mum, she isn’t really happy, and that’s why I always have to do all my possible best to always do what she wishes, but now it’s getting totally unbearable” he said
” How?” I asked getting intrigued already
” I know she has been through a lot, living with the scar of betrayal, I totally hate that man who is my father or whatever, I don’t want anything doing with him no matter what happens, even if a woman I hate falls pregnant for me, I’ll agree to take care of the child even if I had no interest in her, but although it hurts, I’ve accepted it that way. But I don’t think my mum has, she doesn’t even hide the fact, sometimes, she shuns me, telling me I remind her so much of him. As a child who grew up with such, I never loved myself. I loved singing and playing the guitar, I totally wanted to live my life as an introvert, but my mum couldn’t let me, but as a child I had to, to win her love fully but till this hour, she still hasn’t accepted wh0leheartedly, and that’s why she keeps asking for things which sounds totally in possible. You can see now the cause of my attitude? ” He said
” Wow!! I’m sorry Jeremy, you’ve been through a lot. From your appearance, No one would ever think you go through that” I replied
” That’s the wrong area people don’t get, it’s not about facial appearance or the smile an individual carries, have you ever asked what he or she is battling with in,side? That’s just it Stella” he said, he looked pained but was just trying to hide it.
“I guess so, I think you’ve been through worst than me, you’ve really suffered emotionally. But try to accept your mum that way, I’ll be happy if I had my mum by my side from the beginning” I said tears falling.
” No Stella, we’ve passed that already, wipe those tears off” he said moving in to help me with it
” Sorry” I replied and he smiled.
He moved me closer to him hugging me, it’s quite surprising but it’s also consoling.
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TBC