MEMOIRS OF AN UGLY GIRL
By HSR* 📝📝📝
– *Diary entry –40*
‘The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.’
This has been the worst week of my life but because I am still alive I know there is hope. As usual I wake up early and get ready for school.
Today I am wearing a pair of jeans, a T-shirt and some boots.
A few days ago I had my hair cut and Angie forced me to dye it gold, I look very different.
I grab my stuff and head towards the kitchen.
‘Morning baby,’ Koko greets me
‘How are you?’
‘I am okay.’
She smiles, ‘You look good.’
Rina and Becky come rushing into the room all dressed up and ready for school.
‘Hello girls,’ I manage a smile
‘Sit down and have your breakfast,’ Koko orders
I don’t feel like eating anything but I know Koko won’t allow go to school on an empty stomach so I force myself and eat.
A few minutes later, I am seated in Angie’s car as she drives us to school while some country music is playing on the radio.
When we finally get to school she parks her car at her usual spot then we head out to our first class with Christine.
Surprisingly she is already in class seated at her desk and playing with her phone i head directly to my table and get settled in Angie sits next to me.
By 8 almost everyone is in class and Christine is ready to start lecturing. Thirty minutes into the lecturer, Elijah walks in, he talks to Christine for like two minutes and walks out, my heart gives a painful throb he didn’t even spare me a single glance.
‘Are you okay?’ Angie whispers
‘I could murder her for you and make her death look like an accident.’
‘Angie!’ I shake my head and smile
‘Serious, just say it and it is done….,’
Christine interrupts her, ‘Can you two stop talking in my class.’
‘Sorry,’ Angie responds
‘This is the last warning you get from me for talking in my class next time I won’t be this nice.’
She continues dictating the notes until about an hour later when her period elapses.
‘The next time I come let me find the assignments ready or else I will deduct some marks,’ she says before walking out of the room. As soon as she is out of sight, I walk out too and head to the toilets.
The rest of the day passes pretty quickly and before I know it, it is time for us to go home.
‘Shall we?’ Angie asks as soon as she is done packing her things.
‘Yes,’ I grab my bag and we both walk out of the classroom.
As we walk our way down the corridor, I see Elijah standing in front of the conference room, I walk past him as if he I can’t see him.’
‘Zen,’ he calls my name but I can’t be too sure what if I just imagined it.
‘Zen,’ he calls again, louder
‘Keep going,’ Angie says
I want to keep going but I stand instead and turn to look at him, he walks to where I am standing.
‘Can I talk to you?’ he asks
‘What about?’ Angie snaps
‘In my office please.’
Angie opens her mouth to respond but I shot her a hard glare and she instantly closes her mouth.
‘Okay,’ I respond
‘I will find you in the car,’ I tell her before I follow him to his office.
We get to his office and he slams the door shut behind him.
‘Please take a seat.’
‘I prefer standing.’
‘How are you?’
‘I am fine.’
There is an awkward silence between us for a few seconds.
I clear my throat and break the silence.
‘So I was marking the test papers and I noticed you didn’t do well.’
‘Listen, I know what happened between us got to you in some way but don’t let that affect your academics, you are a bright student, don’t let what you have worked hard for go to waste.’
‘Have you finished?’
‘Don’t take this the wrong way I am just looking out for you.’
‘Did I ask you?’ I enquire shooting him a puzzled look
‘You are one of the best students at this school Zen and most lecturers have been talking about how you have been slacking of late.’
‘Elijah please cut it already don’t act as if you care, what’s all this nonsense?’
‘Don’t Zen me, haven’t you done enough already what more do you want?’
‘Calm down, I am just trying to help you here.’
‘You are not my father Elijah, so stop trying to help me.’
‘Elijah,’ she cut him short before he could finish his sentence.
I roll my eyes, she can’t even knock this is how familiar they have become.
‘You are busy?’ she asks
‘I was just discussing something with her.’
‘This one has become naughty in class,’ she says
‘Chit- chatting in class with that other arrogant girl.’
I take a deep breath, ‘Thank you very much sir I think I better get going.’
‘See that, so disrespectful,’ Christine says
I want to hit her so badly but I realize she is my lecturer and this can bring me a lot of problems so I simply open the door and walk out slamming it behind my back.
I feel so mad, I don’t even know how to react, like who does Elijah think he is, he calls me just to ridicule me with his girlfriend, anyway I will rise past this, I will forget him, I swear I will.
‘Hey,’ Angie says when I get into the car
‘What did he want?’
‘Nothing serious, let’s get out of here.’
‘Where are we headed to now?’
‘Mrs. Mariano house.
Mrs. Mariano is Koko’s friend from church, she counsel’s people, after she heard I cut myself she asked Koko to allow me have a few sessions with her so she could help me, I must admit I wasn’t interested at first but after I attended two sessions last week I feel better, they are so many things I have kept inside for so many years and it’s just good to talk to someone who won’t judge me.
We drive in silence until we get to our house and I get out of the car.
‘I will pick you up later.’
I push the gate open and walk in at the door I knock thrice and wait.
‘Hello sweetheart,’ she says happily when she opens the door.
‘Hey,’ I reply
‘You are welcome please come in,’ she steps aside to allow me in and then closes the door behind her.
We walk down the corridor to her study and I sit down on the opposite side of her seat.
‘Can I get you anything to drink?’
I shake my head, ‘I am okay.’
‘Great so how are you?’
‘I am fine.’
‘I think we can get started now.’
‘Yes,’ I nervously respond.