What A Life
Samantha turned and began to run but the soldier man caught up with her.
Samantha: “Leave me, alone. I haven’t done anything wrong”, she kicked and scratched at the soldier who held her tight.
The soldier surprised at her confidence twisted her arm and brought her to face with him. “Do you know that I can punish the life out of you? What stupid confidence have you like this?”
Samantha: “You cannot punish me, I am a law abiding citizen of this country and I know my rights. I will not take any sort of harassment from a military man”.
Soldier: “You dey craze? Which kind yeye harassment you dey talk of? I say make you stop, you no gree you start to dey run and you say I dey harass you? No be only criminals and suicide bombers dey run when them see soldiers?”
Samantha: “I had to run because I felt intimidated by you running towards me, it is not every woman who is covering her body with a veil that is a suicide bomber”. While she was talking, other soldiers surrounded them and Samantha found herself in their middle.
“Why are you exchanging words with an ordinary civilian? When did that one start?” his superior asked him.
Soldier: “Sorry, sir”.
“My friend go down and start to dey do frog jump for here”, he shouted at Samantha who obeyed immediately. Surrounded by the military men, she began to do as they said. Suddenly she felt her head spinning and the head rotating on its axis. She tried to maintain balance but she lost balance and fell down to the surprise of the soldiers.
Soldier: “So, after all the English you were speaking, you don’t even have stamina”. He mocked.
Soldier: “Oga, no mind her. Na pretend she dey pretend, we know her type. Allow her make she lie down for there if she tire, she go stand up. Na trick she dey use to escape the frog jump. In fact, make we find cold water pour her for body so that she go wake up”.
“No, I think she looks sick. What is this on her hand as if she was just discharged from the hospital? Attend to her and revive her and allow her go, I don’t want the media to get wind of this and interpret it in a different way to Nigerians”.
Mama Samantha and the security men drove around searching for Samantha all to no avail. Tired, she thought of making a U-turn after the check point ahead of them when she sighted soldiers making frantic effort at waking up somebody who was on the floor. Some civilians were trying to come close to see the situation of things but the soldiers were chasing them away. The security man in the car with her interrupted her thoughts. “Madam, no mind all these soldier people. Some of them wicked no be small. Maybe dem don over punish person na im the person faint for their hand”.
Mama Samantha: “You may be right but I am sure they won’t just go about punishing people like that. Maybe the person is a suspect or something”.
Security: “You no need commit any crime o, even though na mistake you do, them go punish you. Na so one day me and my friend dey travel, one girl come forget dey make call before you know, na so them stop us begin give us frog jump do o. After that one, them collect the girl big Samsung phone pieces am for ground. The girl look for tears that day she no see. Who know how many sugar daddies she don commot with just to buy that phone”.
Mama Samantha: “Your friend was wrong. There is always a notice that we shouldn’t make or receive phone calls when we are at their checkpoints. You know these people are suffering night and day away from their friends and families and even enduring cold and sleepless nights just for us to sleep and snore in peace, some of them even get killed in the course of their duty. We should help ourselves by cooperating with them”.
Security: “I don hear, madam”.
When they drove near, they saw that it was Samantha sitting in the middle of the soldiers who were fanning her. Her mother ran close and hugged her. “Oh thank you, Lord. Look what you have brought upon yourself”. She began to shed tears.
“Madam, who are you and what are you doing here?” the soldier asked.
Mama Samantha: “Sorry, sir. She is my daughter, I mean I am her biological mother. She was on hospital admission and she ran away when I went out of the room. I am sorry for all the troubles that she may have caused you”.
Soldier: “Madam, you should always be around your patients to ensure that they do not do anything stupid”.
Mama Samantha thanked them and the hospital’s security helped her carry Samantha to the car and they drove back to the hospital.
Eno entered her mother’s house with tears in her eyes. She was sad and was determined to make Dozie and Samantha pay for all the tears that they had caused her to shed.
Her mother came down stairs when she heard her daughter sniffing. “What is it again this time around? Ever since you got married to the man of your choice, I have never had a moment of serenity in this house. Ah, is this what mothers who give their daughter’s hand in marriage go through or is my own case different?”.
Eno: “Is it not that stupid Dozie that is making me go crazy with his wicked behavior? Can you imagine that he pushed me out of the door and walked out?”
Mama Eno: “What! Has it gotten to that? What did you do to him? The next thing that stupid boy will do is to start hitting you and I will make sure he regrets the day he was born if he tries that with you.”
Eno: “Yes, simply because I asked him to drive me here or give me his car keys to bring myself here. He even has the guts to tell me that he is going to see that stupid good for nothing Samantha, even k-ss her pregnant tummy if she conceives. I am sure the girl is sleeping with him and that is why he has never touched me ever since we got married”.
Mama Eno: “Hmmn, it’s time we show that girl who we are. I heard she was involved in an accident, so that has not taught her to stay away from you right?” she asked pacing up and down and thinking.
Eno: “God, I just wish she died in that accident. I even suspect that she and Dozie have started talking again, I see him making calls with his phone constantly and smiling these days. That girl is the reason why my husband has never touched me, now his mother said she is coming to visit us tomorrow and she will be expecting my stomach to have swelled. What do I tell her?”
Mama Eno: “We will put Samantha where she belongs but first thing first. You will have to feign pregnancy for her tomorrow”.
Eno: “How do I achieve that? I hope I won’t get caught?”
Mama Eno: “I am still talking, you just listen attentively. You know how actresses feign pregnancies by stuffing things under their dress to make their stomach appear big right? That is what you will do. If you do not know how to do it, ask google or check AdeLove gist 18+ or download videos to that effect on YouTube. When she comes tomorrow, you must pretend to be sick and must remain in bed till she leaves. You can even induce vomiting so that it can appear real. Then come here and meet me either later today or any day you can, we shall go and see someone who has the solution to all your problems, he will also help us take care of that distraction called Samantha”.
Dozie heard from their close mutual friend, that Samantha had been discharged from the hospital, he drove to a gift shop in town and bought assorted gifts for her. He was bent on apologizing and winning back her love. He also had a special handmade card customized in her name and also bought a giant teddy upon which he had ‘I will always love you, Samantha’ inscribed. His booth filled with the gifts he bought for her, he drove albeit reluctantly to her house. When he got there, the security man led him in. Few minutes later, flower in hand, he was standing nervously on the door, knocking and anticipating with his heart beating fast.
Samantha: “Who is at the door? Come in, the door is opened”.
When he heard her voice, memories of all the good times they had shared together before Eno sed-ced him flashed through his head and there and then, he realized that he had broken one heart that loved him unconditionally.
Samantha: “I said the door is opened o, come inside”.
His legs began to quiver.
Dozie’s heart skipped a bit when he heard her voice from within the house. Even though he had anticipated this moment, he stood transfixed not finding the strength to go in. “Who is there? I said you can come in”, Samantha’s sonorous voice pierced his ear drums. He took a step forward and two more backwards. He was about running back to his car when she suddenly opened the door.
Samantha: “Dozie? Did you miss your way or something? ”
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