Ewa’s heart tale episode 1 – end

EWA’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 1
By AMAH’S HEART.

My Story My Testimony
My Disability My Ability
#thejourneyoffaith

#Introduction

My name is Ewatomi Oluwatoyin Adeshina born into the family of Babatunde Adeshina.
I am the first girl of the family and the head of house among my siblings😝 .
September 16 2000.

My birth was surrounded with so many circ-mstances.
I have been laugh at
Mock at
Betrayed by those I call friends.
I hope this story changes your mindset about the way you look at others or the way you look down on yourself.

Have faith in yourself,
Believe you can make it.
Believe God will change your story.

Part 2

Seeing other children moving and running around has always been my dream.
In fact being a footballer has always been part of my big dream, but it was just a mare dream, never fulfilled.

Hmm😡
I was born with a knock kneel leg this a situation when the leg are joining with each other which make it difficult for me not to be able to walk well unless they carry me.
I can’t walk on my own at the early stage of my life😢
I also have a stiamus eyes which make me when looking at someone you might think am looking another place.

The knock knee requires an operation called orthopedic and Nystamus surgery for the eyes.

Everyone run from me when I was a child cause of my appearance, some parent warn their child not to associate themselves with me.

From the day I was suppose to start walking as a child I have always been sitting down

I couldn’t stand or walk untill the operation was carried out.
I couldn’t tell if the leg surgery went successful or not because I was reclined to a hospital bed for so long and forget what movement feels like.

It hurt seeing my mate running up and down while I just sit down looking at them.
I cried, I try my best to walk then but I end up falling down.

They said i may be able to walk if the operation is done successfully but I my case I couldn’t tell why bad luck follows me like ant to s sugar.

People that have healthy legs don’t know how blessed they are because in those off hours the only thing I desire was to be able to move around like every other child.

Part 3

The orthopedic operation took place on the 16 of September 2004, at the medical hospital gwagwalada Abuja.
It went well and that made me so happy although I spent lots of time in the hospital but my happiness is knowing that I will be able to walk just like every other child.
After the operation I did not visit any hospital for any surgery or operation again.
Even the eye correction surgery that was supposed to take place didn’t happen again.
I can see perfectly with my “half past 4” kind of eyes as many will tag it.

Except for free medical eyes check up I never went for any eye test and I can’t even remember the last time I went for the check up because God is doing something greater than any doctor can do in my life.

After my orthopedic operation I was in bed for almost 6 month before I learn how to stand and from standing I started walking on my own at the age of 5.
The day I stand on my own was the very day I stand on my feet, the very day I feel sand on my leg.
The feeling was heavenly.

God has done wonderfully thing in my life.
I would have love to share the picture before and after the operation but for security reason.

I only want you to understand the big transformation and the reasons for my happiness.

I thought I have overcome every obstacles but I never knew that a bigger one was coming which is discrimination from people.

EWA’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 4

I started school late due to my health condition at about 6 years old.
I needed to learn to walk well on my own before starting.
After after much determined practice, I was ready to take the bold steps.

I started nursery school at the age of 6years and during that period before I learn how to hold pencil to write was war with my class teacher..
Aside struggling with the pencil I was also struggling with the stare and rejection from class mates and even adults.

I could remember while coming back from school one day, some group of people saw me and start laughing unnecessarily at me.
I felt so bad and took to my heels

I got home that day and cry sadly and when my dad ask me what happened I explain to him he also laugh and said those laughing at you have a bigger problem then yours.

My family never laughed or make mockery of me, my relations never did, it was just outsiders that does that.
My family were always supporting and encouraging me to be better.

My problem then was that I was living by people word not God word.

I wanted the world to accept me just as I am
My kind of eyes and the not very perfect way that I walk added with the fact that I was very slim too.
Who will want such a kid around their child or which children will want somebody like me as a friend.
There was no way I will fit in such a world.

I struggled to finish my nursery and primary school with many rejection but I refused to allow it weigh me down much.

Secondary was no difference, I thought things will change a little bit but it got worst.

School mates laugh and make jest of me right in my presence.
They will ridicule my kind of eyes and the way I walk.
Because I still leap a little bit.
The bullies never cares how much their words and actions hurt me.
They were always enjoying making fun with my looks

I still couldn’t have a reliable friend or someone to fall back to except my family.

In my SS 3 my classmate told me that her culture does not allow her come close to me because she might give birth to my type.

Like seriously?
I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.
Making me feel like I was rejected by the gods or I have a terrifying illness.

Although I cried then because her words hurt so badly but I later dust off and continue living.

I wanted someone to call a friend but I begin to understand something which is never to force yourself on anyone all in the name of friendsh¡p.
Is better to be alone than to surround yourself with people who pretend to like you but only doing so out of pity.

I used to think that this particular girl that told me this was atleast a friend I never knew I was the one forcing the wh0le friendsh¡p thing.

Somebody called me one day and said to me.

“My dearest Ewa, let me tell you the truth forget those laughing at you and mocking you. Focus on God’s plan for your life not man’s plan.
You are God’s beautiful creature not man’s creature. God has a specific plan for your life and in time he will perfect such purpose. You are beautiful and special. If people can’t see that then is there lost not yours…”

After then I decided to take the bold step of faith and embrace myself as I look forward to better days.

EWA’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 5

Growing up, I have this mentality that am not beautiful.
I had low self-esteem and kept to myself oftentimes.

I hate pictures of me on paper or phone.
I hate taking pictures and will never be found close to photo addicts.

Few people close to me will continuesly encourage me to take pictures but I will refuse.
And if I happen to take any picture it will be just a selfie.
I hate full pictures of me because seeing the full version of myself increases my low self-esteem and makes me sad that I began to wish for only imaginery things.

But do you know what change about the wh0le fear was the day I saw someone on wheelchair relaxing and having fun while taking pictures with different posture.

I felt so ungrateful with all my given blessings.

God opened my eyes to see many other things like a guy with one leg posting happily on Facebook.
I went on social media and kept checking out those with one disability or the other yet they don’t care about what the world feels or think about them
They snap and Post freely with smile.
I was busy browsing and compiling them up.

I decided to take the bold steps to start taking pictures.
Phone camera won’t edit or beautify me like I want so I decided to go to the photo studio.

The day I took my first full picture was a studio pic and I belive they will edit it well and I will be beautiful.
After the pictures there was no much difference.
I was still looking the same. My legs, stature and face was all the same.
After realizing all of this things I changed my mind about the studio thing and started snapping with normal phone camera.
I will snap about 50 pics and delete 47 and kept only 3.
In that way I was enjoying taking pictures and seeing myself differently.
That was a step to overcoming my low self-esteem.
Using Snapchat and the rest doesn’t suit me, seeing the real version of myself in a normal camera was more like it.
To the extent I was gradually becoming a picture addicts.

I was on the way to loving myself again.
Even though I still feel intimidated and scared when I’m in the means of beautiful, well endowed girls about my age I still managed to stay focus.
Even while preparing for my senior waec examination back then I remained determined and focus and refused to allow anything or anyone intimidate me.

All of this helped me towards positive mindset and loving myself the way I am.
It was not all hundred percent because there are days I have struggles but I refused to dwell on that.

Everything in this story is all true and real and no fiction was added.
My mum and other of my family members are here and following every tale.
All real and true, nothin was made up.
They can as well testify to everything I struggled and went through.

Still on my way to more discovery of myself and I will try not to let down my guards.

Part 6

Growing up my mum is always scared of me wearing high hill, cause of me falling or something.
She had fear that anything in heels will injure me but I wanted to try what being in heels feels like.
I know I can actually wear them but due to my mom’s fear I decided not to try it out.

My life has been meaningful with Christ.
I’m the one that God has shown mercy.

One thing am known for wherever I go is me and children.
I love children like kilode.
I wanted to become a teacher which will enable me to be around children.
After my secondary school I try to apply as a teacher but again discrimination hit me hærd.

One of the proprietors that I was applying in his school told me clearly that I can’t teach in his school because I will scare away the kids with my stiamus eyes and tiny legs.

He said the children will be scared of me.
I felt so hurt but is his decision and there’s nothing I can do about it
But that doesn’t mean that I will stop trying.

Even though I felt like crying but knowing well that although he may not accept me in his own school I will continue to apply until I’m accepted.

I didn’t give up, I kept trying until finally I was accepted without any personal questions and it wasn’t out of pity.
I was asked if I can teach and handle kids during my interview. I told them although i haven’t done it before and it was going to be my first experience but I was ready to learn on the Job
I was accepted and I proudly became a teacher😝😝😝
Hallelujah somebody😂💃💃😂
I teach pre nursery class and my children have not for one day insult me, laugh at me or run away from me oh😍😍😍

Those children are the best and I was happy that i didn’t allow one man’s opinion about me to weigh me down or discourage me.

I continued with my life journey with no relentlessness🤩🤩🤩

EWA’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 7

When God is preparing a greater place for you is better to follow the lead of Christ not of man

December 2019 when my dad bossom friend with his family came visiting us, the wife was telling my dad that she could not recognize me at first because my legs were straight unlike before.
That very day I saw a great impact in my life, I saw the manifestation of Christ for my life as I also looked down on my legs to behold the miracle.
I haven’t even noticed all this while until she mentioned it.

Just then I flashed back to the day a supposed friend of mine said plainly to me that she can’t walk with me because I will embarrass her with my looks especially my non straight legs.

She said all this she had been managing me and not want me to feel bad but she was done pretending to like my looks or my legs.

At first I thought it was a joke because she was one of the last person I expected such from.

she took it way too serious.
Warned me totally off and kept a clear distance

I wasn’t totally surprised by her actions but I let things be the way she wanted it.

Not until last year during the lock down she started acting all friendly
Little by little she started coming around again and trying to be friendly but I don’t want friendsh¡p out of pity.
I told her but she also noticed my legs transformation and pointed it out that it wasn’t as it used to be. Is far better than before.

Only God knows how we settled our differences and our friendsh¡p bounced back again

Don’t ever, I mean don’t you dare force friendsh¡p.
Don’t even try it
I learnt a great deal with my life story and as each day comes I kept transforming to a better beautiful me that I never imagined.

I won’t say I realise God’s plan for my life late.
No, his plans for me was perfectly in time.

There is a purpose why is coming this time.

People don’t run away from me or look at me out of pity like they used to do before.
Unlike before I was used to such discrimination but God was reshaping my mind and body miraculously.

Instead they look for me to see the manifestation of Christ in my life.
They want to know how I did it but is God’s doing.

EWA’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 8

Am a girl with a big dream but base on the way I initially follow people’s comment about myself killed the dream.

I graduated from secondary school 2018, I wanted to write jamb then but I was afraid of crowd.
I knew that the place will be crowded up and I might get stared at.
I can’t think pass the part that people may look at me. That scares me alot.
What I have dealt with in the past added with the discrimination made me not to do too well in the public place.
I will my steps and stumble when I imagine that somebody maybe looking at me.

Some of the things that kills my moral is people’s opinions and comments about me in the past.
Yes, I might have overcome some of it but I still haven’t dealt totally with myself esteem.

My parents tries all they can for me to write jamb and enter University but if I can’t face the crowd at the jamb hall how am I supposed to deal with the other crowd when I enter University.

When my Dad saw that convincing me was taking long longer than usual he opted for college of education.
They’re both high instructions but he told me is with lesser crowd.

At first I told him that I’m not interested in furthering my education but I was already enjoying my teaching job and I needed to make it more official by getting the right certificate for it.
I agreed to take the college of education form and further my academy.

When I get to the school my prayer was that people should not laugh at me.
That was my heartfelt prayer every second that passes.
I got admission and resumed right away and continued with my prayers as I try not to get on anyone’s way or bad side.

The first day I was to attend lectures, I was scared of entering the class.
I peeped through the window and saw lots of students, way more than my imagination.

I try to muster courage and to make sure I don’t make eye contact with anyone.

When I entered the class everyone was busy with whatever they were doing and didn’t even notice my presence.
As I head to get a sit with my head bent I heard one girl laughing.
I managed to look up and she was actually looking at me and laughing

I ignored and took a seat and did not stand from my seat, I also did not talk to anyone.
I remain quiet like a wood untill the lecture is over.
but all through the lecture and infact that day and the following I kept hearing the girl’s laughter.
It was as if the mockery sound of it was registered in my head.

These were some of the major challenges I face during the first year but I try to remain focus and not to miss out on the main purpose.
There are days I wanted to quit and never go back but with each breaking of a new dawn I found strength to keep going.

🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Part 9

I was mostly on my own in school and stayed out of other people’s way.

As I was in school one day, one of my classmate came to meet me and she was like

“madam you no dey stand up go out, anywhere… even if is to walk around or do something. You’re always sitting in here all by yourself…”

I smile and decided I was going to atleast leave the class more often during free period

The first day I decided to walk around, it wasn’t upto 5minutesi started feeling uncomfortable.
I couldn’t continue I decided to go back to my normal way of staying in the class until the lecture time is over.

I’m mostly uncomfortable in a new environment and school was no difference.

Sometimes I try to engage my mind not to think of how lonly staying all by myself could be.

I kept subtracting each day that comes from the years I will be spending in the high institution.
I couldn’t wait to be done and move forward to another phase of life.
My happiness is that despite all of this challenges I was making progress.
I wasn’t at a s₱0t or where I used to be.
All thanks to God for that.

Whenever I come to class, I look for a seat at either a far end or where people won’t notice me much and sit for lecture.

I saw the popular ladies are guys in my class getting all the attention and making their selves well known to those who haven’t noticed them yet

Sometimes I wish I’m a little popular, have such an admirable charisma or a full package that everyone will love to mingle with.

I know I was shy, I have had lots of belittling experience that was enough lesson.
I was battling with my low self-esteem and did not see myself as a full standard or somebody that should expect much from people.

I was fine on my own and that did not affect my learning process or my class performance.
I was concentrating fine and having good grades too.
That was the goal.
I may not do well in the aspect of friendsh¡p with others but I was used to it all and I was becoming a great friend to myself.

Atleast I used that to console myself as I continued moving forward.

I was friend enough for myself and back at home my family was friend enough to me.

God maybe invisible but he was also a great friend that I try not to do without.

Having this at the back of my mind makes moving forward easier for me.

EWA’S HEART TALE
Part 10

God said it and I believe it now it working for me.
He say to me those who mock you will surely clap for you and they’re begining to clap directly and indirectly.

I remember getting rejected when I was applying to be a teacher. Words like I’m going to scare the children or my appearance was not a perfect match for a teacher
Those words hurts really bad but I refused to let it weigh me down.
I overcome it all and today I’m getting calls from parents to come and become their kids home tutor.
They called that they need me to be a lesson teacher for their children and I’m like “me?
“Ewa of all people”?
I didn’t expect it but I’m always joyous whenever I receive such call.

Whenever I’m with friends and they’re talking about places that they have been, fun stuffs they have tried out and other adventure I will be mute and shy. I won’t be able to contribute anything, my case will be as if I don’t even live in this world, maybe my world is difference from theirs.
When is my turn to say one or two things i won’t be able to even say anything.
But not again, things have really changed for me.
I’m part of the gist starter and I may not even have too much experience or been to many places but I make sure I’m not left out on the ongoing conversation.

I used to be a bookworm and still one because knowledge is power.
I read both online and offline and try to gather enough knowledge that I can gather because knowledge is power.

In high institution, it was a big struggle like I already stated in the previous chapter and I kept with the struggle untill I got tired and decided to loosen up.

I refused to be seen as a victim or have anyone give me a pitiful stare.
My physical look may not be to everyone taste but it is for some who look past the stiamus eyes, the not straight legs and the “lepacious” slim body.

I was actually alright, very alright compared to some bigger cases of disabilities I happen to come across.

Whenever I see someone staring at me either on the road or anywhere, I will stand to stare back and at the end the looker will feel either embarrassed or quickly look away.
It has happened in different cases, I will stare back at the person or the people depending on the number and with my kind of eyes you will definitely get confused because you won’t be able to tell if I’m actually looking at you or your friend😂😂😜😜
I enjoy the staring competition because at the end I’m mostly the winner 💃🏼💃🏼
The person looks away while I smile and continue on my journey with a big additional win.

My stiamus eyes are not as obvious as it was before and as I grow older it gets better but it remains there.

Sometimes if I don’t have all the time to stand and look back, maybe when I’m in a haste or busy I will ignore and then assume that the “looker” is either admiring my dress, my shoe or something on my body. I will decide to add a little cat walk.
Sometimes I will hear them laugh and making me laugh too because I can’t believe that nothing moves me like before.

Three years ago if I was told that I will be this different I wouldn’t had believe it.

I’m a big instrument in the hand of God and he never stops helping me overcome different stages of life.

Finally graduated from high institution, it was like a miracle.
Ewa is now a graduate ooo💃💃😂
Is God not good like this?

I was afraid of getting into school and facing the crowd but my fear turned into a testimony.
With God’s help I overcome it all. My family and few friends were very supportive.
My joy can’t be explained in world.

God did it. I’m ready to face any other obstacles that may pop up it’s head.
I can’t stop celebrating my big win of becoming a graduate 💃💃💃🎉

THE FINAL PART OF EWA’S HEART TALE 💌

I wish not to stop but I think I will have to drop the pen here.
This is me, this is my story, this is my life.
The story might stop here but my journey in life continues.

Never give up in the journey of life. Pursue your purpose, know the reason God created you, stop crying because of hearsay, instead laugh at the talk and keep believing in yourself.

There were days I would not stop asking God why?
Why did he make me like this?
Why did he give me to my mother?
Why am I different from others?
Why did he send me to this world where I will not he accepted?
Why was I one of the most unhappy person on earth?
Why God this and why that?
Days I was tired of trying to feel belong or accepted by people.
Days I wish I was s₱0tless without in coma on my body.
I wish the world will stop discriminating and making people with an imperfect body feel like they’re coursed or aliens.
I used to cry, imagine and wish to be different.
But I talked to God most times because I know he will understand me better than anyone and I doing so I began to grow thick skin over the negative things before had to say.
God heard my cries

He gave me answer to my many questions
That answer is the purpose of my existence today.

I believe he wanted me to also comfort others with the comfort I receive from him.

Now I have stop asking God Why he made me the way he made me because I am not a mistake in God’s plan.
There is a purpose and plan for every soul on earth.
No one can erase my existence because God is involve in my life and won’t let harm come to his own.

instead of condemning me for questioning him which I don’t have to or rejecting me as some of the people in the world will do he show me external love💖💖 undiluted love that supercede every other thing.

This is who God want me to be.
I am a perfect creation
I am unique and Beautiful
I am EWATOMI💋💋💋💋

THE END