Incomplete episode 4

INCOMPLETE

Writer: Anonymous❤️

Sequence 4

“You don’t mean that” I said
“I am serious Pam I have enough money to last us a life time you don’t have to work?” he said
“Dan I am not having this conversation with you now, I have to get going let’s talk about this when I knock off” I said
He didn’t answer me, so I finished dressing up and got my bag and walked to the bed so I could k-ss him but he just looked away.

“What now” I asked
“I hate to be disrespected” he answered
“Ok I am out of here” I left the room packed my breakfast and drove off, I was worried about my husband’s attitude he was slowly developing an attitude a bad one for that matter, one minute we are fine the next minute he is all temperamental.
I got to work and went straight to my first meeting, I wasn’t feeling ok I kept making mistakes and my colleagues noticed it, but I tried as much as possible not to let my personal issues get in the way of my work.
After work my sister called me because she wanted us to have dinner but seeing how badly my husband was behaving, I told her we would have dinner the following day. I lied to her that I already had plans with Dan because I didn’t want to tell her what was happening.

When I got home Dan wasn’t around, I asked my maid where he was she said he left in the morning, I changed into something flexible then I sat in my lounge as I was drinking some juice.
“Pam where are you?” I heard Dan shout a few minutes later
I slowly walked back to my living room and found Dan struggling to stand up straight, clearly he was drunk.
“Dan. Whats all this?” I asked feeling concerned
“You barren woman you have no right to question me” he yelled
“So it has come to this? You calling me names like that? What happened to being together through happiness and sadness” I asked in between sobs
“I am tired Pam I need a child, can’t you see this is destroying us? It’s turning me into something I am not, I need to hold my own child as well” he said
“I am not God Dan and I seriously can’t just wake up and get pregnant you know”? I asked
“You are good for nothing Pam, whats the use of having a wife if she can’t make me babies it’s the same as living with a fellow man” he said
His words pierced through my heart, soul and mind, they broke me beyond the core I couldn’t even cry. Have you ever been deeply hurt to the point where you feel unworthy of living? Like you are a good for nothing, like if you died the world would become a better place? That’s how I felt. I left Dan where he was and went to the guest room and slept, I had to drink some pills so I could sleep because I wasn’t going to spend a night crying over things I couldn’t control, it hurt me badly what Dan said even if I cried what was that going to solve? I was too shocked to cry.
Dan was too drunk he passed out in the living room, I woke up and bathed, wore a short black dress with blue wedges then I clipped my weave at the corner, applied just enough makeup to complement my look then drove off to work living Dan sleeping.
At lunch Chloe came to pick me from work and we had lunch together, I was quiet most of the time and I didn’t too much so that got Chloe a little bit worried about me.
“How are things with Dan?” she asked just when I was about to drop off
“Uhmm they are fine” I answered trying not to look her in her eyes
“You have never lied to me why would, you want to start now?” she asked
“What makes you think I am lying?” I asked
“Pam you are my sister, i raised you I know when you are happy, when you are sad and when you are lying to me so spit it out” she said
I forget just how Much Chloe knows me before I lied to her, she has been the mother I have known for years and mothers have that ability to see through you.

“Things are not so good” I said
“Why baby? And why haven’t I been told anything?” she asked
“It’s nothing serious I guess it’s just the stress of not having children that is beginning to get to us” I said
“Oh Pam I have told you so many times not to stress yourself over this issue, you can’t do anything about this, only God can give you children” she said
“I know but my faith is beginning to fade” I said
“And Dan how has been acting?” she asked
I hesitated a bit before answering, not knowing exactly what to tell her. “Well he has not been taking it lightly but we will get through it” I said
“Pam has he been mistreating you? Called you names or perhaps hit you?” she asked
My sister once worked as a counselor, having counseled a number of couples countless times on cases like mine she knows the effects infertility can have on a marriage but how do I tell her the wh0le truth without making Dan look like a bad man to her, Dan is my husband and even when he seems like monster now he is bound to change, I might forgive his atrocities but my sister wont and I wouldn’t want them to have bad blood between them so I didn’t even know whether to tell her the wh0le truth or to just lie about it.
.
“No, Dan would never raise his hands on me, you know him” I said trying to sound as convinced as possible.
Chloe looked at me for a good 3 minutes then she sighed “Pam I hope you are telling me the truth because the minute I just get to find out he raised his hand on you, I swear he won’t like what I will do, tell him not to pressure you about babies, you are still too young and you have a lot of time” she said
‘I will, let me get going now” I said
“You don’t look too fine I can see through your soul, you are broken” she said
“I am fine Chloe you just worry too much” I said
“Okay let me run along, I will call you later” she said
“Okay sis,” I said
I opened the door and before I could go out she held my hand “Pam, apart from my husband and children you are the most important person in my life and for you I would kill” she said
I watched her drive away, she has always been protective of me , never allows anyone to hurt me ever since our parents died I didn’t have to search for parental love because she gave it to me freely, she cares too much sometimes I wonder if I have done enough to thank her for being a great guardian.
As I was walking through the corridors of our offices I couldn’t help but remember my wedding night, it was the most memorable day of my life. Dan and I met when we were at University, at first we didn’t even like each other but eventually we fell madly in love, I introduced him to Chloe and she liked him, when he asked me to marry him I was the happiest woman on earth, I felt my life was complete because I had a man that loved me dearly.
I remember walking down the aisle in my Ball-gown wedding dress, all I could think of was how happy our lives would be as my sister gave me away. We immediately started trying for a child because we have always talked about having a bunch of children, when a child didn’t come in the first few months, we waited for the coming year then the next one and here we are now, four years down the line with nothing to complete our home.

I might look strong in the eyes of others, sometimes I laugh out loud and others think I am not as affected as my husband is about our failure to conceive but I am broken in,side I look at my friends who have been married for like 3 or less years and they have children, I see just how much they glow when they talk about their children and I have to keep quiet in such conversations.
I got to my office with an occupied mind I didn’t even hear my boss walk into my office.
“Are you okay Pam?” she asked
“Yes I am you wanted to see me?” I asked
“Yes I did but you don’t look fine why don’t you take the afternoon of then we can talk tomorrow” she said
“Are you serious?” I asked
“Of course I am” she said
“Thank you very much” I said
“Don’t mention it,” she responded
I packed my hand bag and locked my office and went home.

“Madam you are early today?” Nono asked when I got in
“Yes I wasn’t feeling well so I decided to take the rest of the afternoon off” I told her
“Oh should I prepare anything for you to eat?” she asked
“Awe don’t, I had lunch already” I replied
When I got to the bedroom I found Dan reading a book, I didn’t say anything to him but instead just undressed and went to take a bath, I stayed in the bathroom for a long time, I had so much on my mind I wonder why with African cultures the lady is the one that’s too blame for a life of childlessness, is it always women that can’t have children? And do we just marry so we can have children if children don’t come then we are deemed useless? I thought
After spending so much time in the bathroom, I walked out, lotioned my body and wore tights then as i was about to leave the room, Dan called me out.
“Pam we need to talk this can’t go on” he said
“What’s there to talk about?” I asked
“Everything” He answered
“I am all ears” I responded
“I have been thinking” he started.
I shifted my eyes from the door to him so I could hear what he wanted to say “About?” I asked
“I was thinking that maybe I get a second wife” he said
“You said what” I asked with tears threatening to fall off my eyes
“That maybe I should get a second wife, I am not getting any younger you know, I need children my parents need their grandchildren they have been pressuring me to get a second wife and I just thought I run the idea by you first” he said
“All how nice of you” I said while blinking away tears
“Pam, please think about it” he said
“You want to defile my house? You want to bring in a third person in my matrimonial bed? When you swore to be there in happiness and sadness what exactly did you mean?” i asked
I was feeling so much hurt I couldn’t even talk properly, this was a blow to me a big one in all the years I have been married, never did I think Dan would ever think of replacing me while I was still alive, how would I walk in the street knowing another woman was bearing my husband children? Knowing another woman was going to do what I failed to do as a woman?

TBC