It should have been like this episode 13

It Should Have Been Like This 💔
By Kemmy B. Gabriel
👩‍💻 Book Thirteen: sick and a plan👩‍💻

💜 Lavender’s viewpoint 💜

I yawned loudly as I stretched on my toes, bending my exhausted body backwards to get a few cracks in to my aching bones. My body was as stiff as… Hmm, bones of rocks. I twisted my body to my sides and kicked. I grabbed the hem of my skirt, pulled it up and let myself fall down in a split. I bent my body back and curled one leg forward to touch my chest.

“What are you doing?” Oh, I forgot I still shared a office with him. I rolled my eyes and shut it, to try and ignore his presence like I had been doing all day. Since he hugged me the other day, I refused to talk to him. How dare he make my heart beat!

“Laverne, what are you doing? This is a office!” He just had to use the office string. I instantly pulled myself back into a normal position, pulled myself up to my knees and then stood up. “Lavender.” He sighed tiredly. I ignored him and went back to my desk. My therapist told me I should try doing things that made me feel better back then, things I had to stop because of him. She told me the key to finding myself is regaining all I lost. So, I was doing the things I usually do after a long stressful day.

“Lavender,” I grabbed my bag and opened it. I started shoving my things into my bag. “Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender…” I took in a deep breath.

Just ignore him, he is not here… I sang in my head.

“Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender…” I snapped my neck around and shot him a evil glare. He smirked and intentionally, slowly said it again. “La-ven-der.”

Anger is bad, anger is red. I’m not angry, so I’m not you… I recited in my head.

“Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender…”

There are seven colors of the rainbow, all so pretty and bright. I prefer to change indigo to pink, because pink is cuteness and love…

“Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender…”

Five little ducks went out one day, over the hills and faraway. Mother duck said, quack, quack quack, but only four little ducks came…

“Lavender, Lavender, Lavender, Lavender…” That’s it! I was going to turn around and scre-m at him, but a sudden wave of dizziness sent me down to the floor. “Lavender!” I wasn’t unconscious but at the same time, I wasn’t conscious either. My head suddenly hurt so bad it made me whimper. “Crap!” I blacked out momentarily, only to open my eyes to water being poured on my face and head.

Rominic had me on his laps as he w-t my face and head with water. I blinked perplexedly, first trying to get my memory back. I couldn’t think straight. My mind was occupied by a thick blanket of clouds. I could barely hear what he was saying to me. Everything slowly came to me, one after the other until I could hear his low voice.

“If you can hear me, nod,” I nodded, “when last did you eat because if my memory serves me well, you haven’t eaten since Sunday evening. I can’t believe I’ve been so careless to let you work with no food in your stomach…”

“I’m not hungry…”

“Shut your goddamn mouth,” he snapped, “don’t give me that bullshit. I’m taking you out to eat.”

“I don’t want to… Okay,” there was no point arguing, it’s not like he can force the food down my throat. Yes, food stopped tasting like food after my third session with my therapist. I knew it was me subconsciously rebelling against my recovering. I thought maybe if I didn’t eat, I’d die and he’ll leave me alone.

I gro-ned and whimpered, bringing my palms to my face as I thought of it. I can’t believe I convinced myself without even knowing that I did. I really am sick. “It’s okay, I know, and I won’t let you die.” I didn’t say anything to him, I let him carry me out of the office. To help my embarrassment, I buried my face into his chest so people would think I passed out which I did. I could feel my shirt stinking to my body and the cold wetness of it piercing my skin. I may have momentarily blacked out again, because when I regained consciousness, I could hear Giovanna crying while Micah told her to calm down.

“Are you sure we can’t follow?” I heard August’s anxious voice ask. Rominic’s chest rumbled into my ear as he hummed. My head throbbed violently, causing me to mo-n with discomfort. “What hospital are you taking her?”

“Hospital! Oh my God! She’s going to die! My baby is going to die!” Giovanna scre-med and burst into a louder tears. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I would have rolled my eyes.

“Vanna, she fainted, she didn’t die!”

“I’m leaving.” Rominic announced and I felt him walk without waiting for them to speak. I blacked out again for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, I was in his car, my head resting on the headrest with my head tilt to the side, towards him. He looked so calm, his usual gentleness covering every agitation I knew he was feeling. A creepy smile made it way to my face, he looked so beautiful.

“She just wants me to get a heart attack. The kids would hate me for the rest of their lives if anything should happen to her. Yes, she hates me, but she should look at me with mercy. I don’t want to lose either one of them. What am I going to do if she dies and they hate me? That’s the end of the world!” He continued to kvetch on as he drove. It always amaze me how he could manage to feel powerful emotions and yet keep his face blank and gentle.

How can one human be so compose?

“Beau,” I found myself calling. It was weak, I barely even heard myself, but he did, somehow. He glanced at me briefly.

“Don’t you dare give me a dictated death wish. I don’t want to hear how you want me to take care of the kids when you’re gone, f-cking shut up. You are not going to die, calm down because I’m calm, see?” He pointed at his face with a creepy sardonic smile, “I’m f-cking calm!”

“Yes, you are,” I murmured sarcastically. My stomach rumbled a little. It did that some time but I still couldn’t let the food down my throat. “I’m hungry but nothing seem to be passing my throat, I don’t know what to do.”

“I do, and that’s why we are here.” He parked the car immediately he made that statement. I wanted to ask him where we were, but I could no longer use words. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over me for the brief minutes. I jolted up to the smell of something familiar and enticing. My tongue was already salivating like it knew that smell, even before I woke up.

Before me was a hot bowl of Mrs. Dave’s really good spicy soup. Mrs. Dave was an African woman her husband married. She was a chef, so when she married her husband, she helped him run his family restaurant so he could focus on his own producer dreams. Then, she added so many foreign and African dishes to the menu, one people like me could die for. She knew me and knew how to make mine to my taste. I’d known her since I was sixteen.

I raised my head to see her smiling down at me with tears in her eyes as she stroked my hair. I didn’t need to ask why she was looking at me like that, I was dead to everyone. She smiled back at her. “I added enough pepper when he called earlier, hope you enjoy it, child.”

“Yes, mama,” I smiled back at her. Not paying her anymore attention, I focused on the delicacy before me and dived in. I didn’t raise my head for one second, just drank the spicy soup and battled with every single meats and fishes in the plate. I was sweating too much so I took off Rominic’s jacket from my body? Huh?

He must have seen the confusion on my face because he spoke. “You were shivering, I had to lend you my jacket.” I nodded without looking at him and went back to ending the life of the last meat in my bowl. I am please to announce I finished with no single trace of soup left in the bowl. I slouched down on the chair and sighed with satisfaction: burning–probably–bruised tongue, stinging l-ips, hot w-t nose and sweaty forehead and head, that’s the life.

“Knew you wouldn’t be able to resist,” I peeled my eyes open to look at Rominic staring at me with a wide smile, his hands folded on the table and both palms touching his elbows. “Hi.” He grinned.

“You were going to bring me here before?” He nodded.

“Thought you’d want to meet the woman you took as a grandmother, she never stopped thinking about you for a day.” I rolled my eyes.

“And how would you know that?”

“Because he never stopped coming here months after your death and crying his eyes out. How could I forget when he was there to remind me of who he was crying over.” I did not expect mama to say that and neither did Rominic. I chose to pretend like I didn’t hear a word she said and smiled at Round 2 instead.

“It’s been a long time since I had one of these,” I chirped, picking up one of her extra spicy ram liver on stick. Okay, I don’t really know if it’s liver, but I do know the meat came from a ram and was coated with different layer of sauce and pepper. I dragged one out of the stick with my teeth and mo-ned when the taste made my taste buds cry. Literally, it cried because it was hot.

“It’s delicious,” Rominic said. I wanted to glare at him and ask him how he would know since he has never eaten it because of his sensitive stomach, but was shocked to see him actually eating it.

I hastily gulped down the one in my mouth with wide eyes. “What the hell are you doing? You can’t eat that, you’ll end up in a hospital!”

“It’s not my first time eating it, learnt how to after you left.” He shrugged and took another stick. I reached forward to smack the stick out of his hand, but he moved away.

“Rominic, I swear, if you start complaining of stomach pain, I will pretend like you don’t… Stop eating it!” He rolled his eyes and then licked his fingers. I picked mine and decided to let him eat on. His funeral.

Mama offered me three more of my favorite food and later, her daughter came around to k-ss me senseless. She sat with me as we talked and laughed and ate with so much joy. It was easier to pretend Rominic wasn’t there with her around. Mama had three daughters and sons, all born as twins. I always thought it was weird for her to go into labor three times and come out with a boy and girl or girl and boy at all three times, but with my case, I finally understood she had no say in it.

Cleo, the girl I was talking to was the youngest of her children. Her twin brother was older and boy were they identical! She was four years older and already a mother of four. So you can tell mama is quite old, even if she still walks around with heels. She was way stronger than papa, but who’s complaining?

“It’s really nice meeting you again, Lavender, I missed having you come around. Nobody understands the love of pepper more than you do. I was so alone all these years. I’m so glad you are back.” She said as she hugged me tight.

“I’m glad I’m back too.” She pulled back and smiled so wide I feared her face would hurt.

“So, Rominic mentioned something about five babies…” She trailed off as she wiggled her brows teasingly. I laughed loudly, pushing her off me completely. “Dude, your pullout game is weak and you are a great score… What’s wrong with him?” I turned to look at what she was looking at. I sighed the moment I saw him gro-ning with his face on the table and hands hugging his stomach.

“Hey, stop dying in my mother’s restaurant, if you want to die, do it outside.”

“Cleo!” I shouted with disbelief. She shrugged nonchalantly. I shook my head at her, stood up and walked over to him. “Can’t believe I’m the one carrying you home when you carried me here,” I muttered under my breath. I hoisted him up, threw his hand over my shoulder and wrapped my other hand around him. I momentarily felt dizzy lifting him up like that.

“Do you have to be so heavy!” I scre-med.

“I’m fine,” he gro-ned.

“Ma’am, let me help you,” I turned my head to the side to see one of his bodyguard. I had no idea they followed us. Again, I wasn’t really conscious so whatever. This one was his personal person, been working for him for as long as I can remember. What’s that his name again?

“You are not well enough to carry sir, I’ll do it,” he said again, giving me pleading eyes. Wait, did he think I would say no? I pushed Rominic towards him and straighten my back with a gro-n.

“Men,” Cleo said with a shake of her head, “leave some strength for women to play hero,” I shot her a dirty look which made her laugh and shove popcorn into her mouth? Where did she get that from?!

“Ma’am?” The guy called questioningly. I looked at him and nodded, telling him I’d be right behind him. I looked back to Cleo who was looking at me with a creepy grin. I knew that grin.

“I am not falling in love with him and having makeup s€×,”

“Did I say such in the first place? Guilty conscience they say is a bitch.” She giggled at her speech and pat herself on the back. I rolled my eyes.

“Tell mama I would bring the kids over soon, just not tomorrow or this week. Bye Cleo!” I rushed out before she planted any more s€×ual thoughts in my head. Cleo had the outstanding power of hammering her dirty thoughts into people’s head without even uttering a word. When I first met her, I thought she was a witch. But later got to understand that she’s just weird; the weirdo of the family.

Back to Rominic. I ended up in the backseat with him while the guy drove the car. It was when I got out I noticed the two extra cars that followed Rominic’s. One drove ahead and the other behind, as usual. Rominic was hugging his stomach as he mo-ned and whimpered in pain. He was sweating profusely and his face to his neck was pink. I knew the hair on his hands and back were er-ct and red, like he touched something hot. The pain of touching something hot followed. He’s not allergic to pepper, but he is allergic to too much pepper.

I knew the kind of pain he was going through. I used to scold and cry with him whenever he foolishly ate something peppery to impress me or for whatever reason he chose to. He knew how sensitive his system was to extra hot things, just like Zachary and Serenity. How could he be so reckless! What’s the point! He was in serious pain and there was nothing I could do but watch him toss and turn, whimper, mo-n and sob with eyes closed and hands around his probably red stomach.

“Drive faster!” I snapped at the guy.

What are you doing, Lavender, he took care of you when you were sick few hours ago!

I’m still sick.

But not enough to let him remain like that, you can help him. Do it for the kids.

For the kids, I’d do anything.

I scoohed over to him, pouting my l-ips as I slowly came to realization of my own tears. Just what I needed, great!

“Stop crying, I’m fine,” he murmured and gro-ned again. I smacked his head first before pulling him into my arms to cradle him.

“Don’t take it personal,” I warned.

“Every time she moves on she say,” he sang weakly and chuckled. He was in pain and singing. Unbelievable!

“Drive us home,” I instructed the guy. “Why would you eat something that would kill you?” I asked, rubbing his bare stomach with my palm.

He chuckled. “If I tell you, you’ll get mad, if I don’t, you still get mad. So what am I suppose to do?” I pressed his stomach hærd, causing him to whimper. “It’s an habit of mine I learnt after you left.”

“What… I don’t understand…”

“The first time, I ate it to remember you. I wanted to know why you smiled so much after eating it, what joy there was. Maybe the secret of that joy would heal my heart and make me feel better, but I ended up in pain. There might not have been any joy in it, but there was joy in the pain. The pain feels like a beating. For daring to think about you, for wishing you could be in my arms again after everything I did, for daring to think I deserve to feel better when you were cold in the grave, gone and your future deleted because of my mistake. To me, the pain was a reminder for why I shouldn’t be happy, why I should remain in sorrow because you didn’t even get the choice to be ruined, I made the choice for you and sent you to your grave. It was me accepting your beating for everything I’ve done, but somehow, I still didn’t die after everything. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, but I just…I just… I wanted to feel you beating me up to forgive me, but you…” He cut himself off with a gro-n. I pushed his head into my chest so he wouldn’t see me cry. How possible is it for me to hate him after all of this?

“I’m sorry, Laverne, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to do and say but sorry. I know it’s not enough but please, hit me as many times as you want; shoot me with a gun or stab me, as long as this pain goes away, please.”

Stop crying, Rominic, I don’t want to forgive you.

🖤 Zachary’s Viewpoint 🖤

I watched my mother stir the bowl of cold milk and honey in her hand with a spoon. She had father’s head on her thighs as he turned his head side to side since he couldn’t move. She had a cold towel tied to his stomach. Mom looked really worried and conflicted. She was worried for him and conflicted because of the emotions whirling in her. The woman is an open book.

“Mom, are you sure the milk and honey would work? Shouldn’t we take him to a hospital?” Serenity asked with equal worry. She was straddling his legs to make sure he didn’t move easily while Zayne was doing so for the fun of it. Stupid boy.

“I’ve been caring for him before I conceived you, I know what I’m doing.” Mom, the woman that would never let things break her openly; the woman who would never let go of her past.

As annoying as it was, the only way for her to heal and for him too is for them to accept each other. Now, dad is not a problem but mother, even if she feels it, she would never accept. What father did closed up her trust against him. It would take years to restore and it might never restore. She wasn’t aware of it, but I knew that all her body and heart truly wanted was a happy family, the one she pictured in her head before everything went south. Now that might take a very long time because her mind was her greatest enemy. She would never recover as long as she listens to her head.

I just want her to get better and be genuinely happy.

“There, that should do it,” she said with weak smile. She needed to rest too, not just him.

“Mom, maybe you should lay down for a minute…”

“No, I have to stay awake until his body calms down, then he has to fall asleep. You just take your siblings to bed.”

“I want to sleep here, mommy, can I sleep here?” Serenity asked. She’s too sweet for her own good. Mom nodded in agreement.

“But after your teeth are clean and ready for bed.” That’s mine and Serafina’s job. I never tell her but I was grateful I had one responsible sibling. If Serafina wasn’t smart, life would have been more difficult for both mom and me. I love her, even if she’s annoying and stubborn. She was mom’s pillar, just like I was too. Most things rest on our shoulders and we both carried it as the older siblings. Without Sera, I would have crumbled, but I knew that with or without me, she’ll be fine. Serafina was stronger than all of us put together, even though she didn’t know it.

“Alright, little c*ckroaches, move it, move it!” See? Really annoying. Nothing seems to faze her easily, not even death. I know that because I’ve seen her stand in front of death and remain as calm as dad is. There was a time a snake got into our first apartment. Why I was peeing my p-nts, she was staring at it and calculating how to handle the situation without getting killed. And she did. We were five then.

How about the other time we got into our old home’s elevator and it broke down with us in,side. I remember hugging her so tight as I cried for help. But Sera just stared at the doors thoughtfully until she got an idea that saved us. I would never tell her to her face, but she was my second role model and the main reason I learnt to be calm and clever, so I can outshine her and not feel below her. I did. But I still could never master her total nonchalance. Well, at least when it comes to observing, I’m better.

“Gosh, I’m so tired of this!” She shouted as she threw herself on my bed intentionally. She knew her hair was w-t, she knew what she was doing. We were done making sure the others were ready for bed and she decided to have a sleepover because she’s older and I’m not.

I rolled my eyes. “What are you tired of?” Zyaire asked, his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on his game. I should probably tell him to go to bed, but I can’t stay awake alone with her around. I’ll go mad!

“Mom and dad, they tire me. Geez, just make up already and let us move on with my fabulous life.” I rolled my eyes again.

“It’s not that easy, Sera, you of all people know that,” I cryptically told her. She rolled on my bed, rubbing her w-t hair everywhere before sitting up. I’ll just sleep on Zyaire’s bed. Zayne drools.

“And you think I don’t know that? I do, really, but I also know I’m too young to watch my broken parents. Just look at me, I’m almost nine and I already have gray hair, see!” She held up a slightly gray strand of hair. I furrowed my brows. It was really gray. “And you do too, Zachary, we are both aging too fast. Their misunderstanding is s-cking the life out of our childhood and it’s time they get together so it’d stop. I want to act my age, think my age, dress my… Okay, no, I don’t want to have to share the same brain with Zyaire or Zayne…”

“Hey!”

“Or dress like Gabby, I’m fine like this, but you know what I mean.” I nodded. I too want to think about nothing for once in my life. I threw myself down on the not yet w-t part of my bed and puffed as the bed bounced me up.

“If this continues, neither of you would get a boyfriend or girlfriend by the time you turn fifteen,” Zyaire commented. I ignored his comment but Serafina agreed.

“Exactly! I want to fall in love and have my first boyfriend when I turn fourteen, then finally know what dating people do at fifteen, not worry about getting my heart broken because my mom did. Not good, I tell ya!”

“Me too. Grandpa said he’ll teach me all about what big boys do with girls their age when I turn fifteen, I want to know and be free to do it without worrying that I’ll hurt them like dad hurt mom. Whatever he did that you both won’t share, it’s really messing with mom’s head. We have to fix this.” I sat up simultaneously with smirking Serafina. I had my own smirk on.

“So, our new mission is to get them together without them noticing?” Zyaire chuckled playfully.

“Go team go!” Serenity shouted out of nowhere, scaring the life out of everyone. Where did she come from!

💔

To be continued.