just a little sin episode 14

JUST A LITTLE SIN
Episode 14
By AMAH’S HEART

Molly was sent off to the city to learn tailoring.
Her love triangle with Juru came to a stop after his bike accident which is well deserving, although he almost died or get deformed.

Juru did way too much and deserve to be punished.
I warned him about my sister and several other things but he wouldn’t untill nature stro-ke him ha-rd.

Unfortunately it was the day of the village big market that he ran into a truck carrying loads of goods for traders right in the middle of the market road.
while the crowd were confused on what to do with the half dead Juru on the floor, his damaged bike and unconscious self with blood all over him, he lay helplessly on the ground, Mama who happens to be there at the market and close to the accident scene rushed down to help and with the help of two other women they rushed him to a nearby clinic.

Mother goes to visit him with food and fruits until he was well enough to be discharged
He thanked Mama for her kindness and disappeared after then, never to be seen again.
He did not even know that the woman that helped him was my mother. What a world.

Is over a year and no sign of Juru.
That was the end of his as-sociation with Molly and Molly who never agreed to leave the village to the city started desiring for that same thing.
Mama sent her forth and Molly will be free from learning fashion design in few months from now.

Life is moving on for everyone and maybe a little for me. There used to come a time when it remains stand still, Without making effort to move.

I don’t know if this hurt will ever go away, the wound refuses to heal.

Why did she have to go at the exact time I nee-ded her the most.

I flashed back and remember walking into that room that very day, I saw her lifeless body on the bed. I saw the baby wrapped up in the arm of the nurse.
I saw mama on the floor, helplessly sitting and weeping.
I couldn’t believe she was gone then or even now.
It still felt like I will one day wake up and see her, get married just like we planned and live happily ever after.

I grabbed her body, I didn’t mind if I was covered with her blood, is not possible for Oni to die, not after all our plans.

They tried to hold me but I was going crazy, I wanted to die with her.

I have never loved so much in my life and didn’t realized how much de-ep I was into her until her death.
Maybe I had a teenage fantasy love thingy for Dunfi before her own death came but with Oni, she was like the breath I take.
I wondered how it took me so long to realize it.
Just the time I turned good and ready to be responsible the enemy took me unaware.

No matter the talk or advice I got from mama and friends I still can’t move past the guilt and pain that I feel daily.
I could have done better to protect her but I didn’t.
It will always be my fault, I don’t care if her spoken words brought about her death but it all started with me.
If I haven’t done what I did, maybe she would have still be alive and without any pregnancy.. probably.

If I decided to move on what of the nightmares, yes. The terrifying dreams are always paying a visit to me every night.

Oni falling into a pit and calling me for help but before I will be able to caught her midair and save her it will be too late.

Sometimes it will be a house fire, a falling tree, a river about to gulp her down, a strong wind like tornado, a ground suddenly breaking open and she sli-pped into it.
All of this different time and dreams Oni will always call out to me for help before the danger consumes her.
I have never been able to save her, not even once.

Mama said I should go back to the city and stay for a while again.
I agree, i nee-d to escape before it drives me insane and into the bush again.

Onmi is in safe hands and I will be sending money home anytime I get something doing, for her school and upkeeps.
Mama is trying and isn’t complaining but I can’t leave all the loads for her.

Onmi is my responsibility now because even her biological father does not even know she exist or that Onmi belongs to him.
I dislike this man but Oni make me promise not to confront anyone or let anybody know that Onmi isn’t mine.

Odez bad said the father of her baby should be given money for two plot, it was later that I realized it was a proverb.

Odez didn’t literally meant real money but it was a mockery riddle I nee-ded to solve and I wouldn’t have been able until Oni told me who was responsible.
Shamelessly not knowing what his deed caused.
Oni’s secret will remain safe but I don’t know for how long before I explode.

By next week, I’m living for the city again and hoping the mental and emotionally trouble that have strike me again will finally leave me alone.
I know death is inevitable but Oni’s death was avoidable and I’m left with her daughter, my daughter who’s in my mother’s care.
Due to all the circu-mstances surrounding her, I ha-rdly stay with her for long.
Onmi reminds me alot. is unfortunate she came into a painful world loosing her mother way too early and did not get the chance to suc-kle upon her mother’s br£-$t.
I don’t know when all of this will be over, I don’t even know if it will even be over but like Larry said, is only the living that has hope.
I’m hopeful that no matter what, my hurt will one day disappear but for now I will bear it’s heaviness until the load is off my shoulder.
The city will be helpful. Yoara, my step brother knows better not to disturb me with religion.
Maybe someday I will be ready to really listen to all he’s been saying but not now.

I just want to live and forget the hurt of the past.
Is three years already and it still feels like yesterday.

JUST A LITTLE SIN
Episode 15
By AMAH’S HEART.

The city is big and wide, people trooping into the market arena and out.
Almost everyone appears in a hurry and inpatient, some were in chic chat mood which was obviously not very profitable.
While there are others leaving their shops and wares to gossip about somebody.
I have seen a woman talking with another who has different sets of smoked fish in a well round platted basket, it was placed securely on her head.
Obviously a hawker who knew de-eply that what she carries is perishable and nee-ded to sell it off soon but there she was talking for almost an hour.
She is obviously addicted to petty gossip, she should be out in the open market selling her wares, instead she stood with her tray filled with goods listening to another woman who obviously runs a mini shop
She didn’t care even as the time flies.

I sat watching everyone and everything and trying to kill boredom, I want to rest a little before going home
I sat close to the butcher part of the market which was filled with flies and gutter smell.
Black scary smelling water was in all the gutter around there and this are things you will never see in my village.
My village is filled with natural smell and we breath in life not polluted air.

Tomorrow will complete my second week in this big city and I started searching for job right from the first week.
I searched for plumbing and welder Job since those are my area of specialties, I Saw none and nothing related.

Today, I have gone to several places for any kind of legal job even works as low as a sales boy but found none.
One said I was too old to be a sales boy.
Madam, forget about age. All you should be more after is if I can give you good result in the job, I know I can deliver and very capable. I see no reason why you should put my age first before competency.

I’m still in my early twenties, strong, marketable, ha-rdworking and outspoken I’m not trying to br@g about the look because I know when it comes to being handsome, I’m okay with my look but this madams think because I look desperate for a job I don’t qualify.
I’m responsible, I would have been a married man with kids if not that death strike unexpectedly.
It took me unaware and broke me and life is never the same ever since then.
I have a daughter, I’m not ever present father but I’m a daddy anyway and a responsible one too.

If they refused to employ me then is there lost. The teenagers that they’re looking out for so that they can pay peanut to them will end up stealing their money and and their goods inclusive.

Life can be unfair but I refused to brood over the past, the night mare that comes at me every night is enough torment.

I sat watching and thinking of what to do because I can’t depend on Yoara always.
Him accommodating me is kindness enough. Because he’s my step brother does not mean I should live on him.

He was a minister and has a good job too, he has a fiance and several other expenses, I can’t add mine to his expenses.
He said one of his boss nee-ded a driver, if not that I don’t know how to drive he could have recommended me to his boss.

Sitting alone and thinking about my whole life after a long search for job, I was interrupted by a young man, about early thirties.
He had flyers in his hand , he must have collected it from some young ladies sharing it along the market road. I saw them earlier and avoided their part, so that I won’t collect any because I will end up trashing it.

“You have been sitting down here since, I saw you sitting here as I went up and come down..”

I looked at him then looked away without a reply.
I was not in the mood for whatever he was selling.
He is probably selling rat poison, gum or insecticide. I don’t know what exactly he wants but I’m not interested.

“…see guy, I un-derstand that you maybe going through a lot but many of us are also pas-sing through alot but we are surviving no matter what. I’m a hustler and I see you as a hustler too..”

“I’m searching for a job, do you know where i can get a job? I asked.

“You’re searching for a job, I may have a solution in my hand..? He said and looked down at the flyer.

I looked from him to the flyer.

“If you try to preach to me I will leave this place because I don’t nee-d disturbance. My brother is a pastor and we live together. So there’s nothing you will preach now that I haven’t heard before..”

He laughed out all of a sudden

“Please count me out. What do I know about Christianity or preaching but I’m actually a Christian but not that kind of Bible quoting, spirit casting type. I’m just a hustler and can hustle anywhere..”

I paid attention to him since he wasn’t a preacher.
“…guy, see this flyer in my hand is an invitation to a church program. There’s going to be a serious hustle and if you you’re ready I will show you the way…”

“Please show me the way, Do they nee-d workers then I’m in. Hope they don’t delay payment because some of this religious people are good in holding back one’s salary..” I said waiting to hear the job description or title.

He began to explain but I didn’t quiet un-derstand so I asked him to repeat again.
He did and I was still confused.

“With this flyer now, we will attend this church and during the deliverance time we will pretend to fall un-der the holy power of the man of God and we will roll and scatter chairs and…”

“Wait…wait…” I interrupted because he still wasn’t making any sense to me. I thought it was supposed to be a physical job that we will get paid.
What type of God forsaken job is this?

“I will fall un-der a real power or fake one? I never said I want any man of God laying hands on me and delivering me from what i don’t know off. How do money come from all of this things you’re narrating..”

“Just listen first, don’t interrupt again until I finish so that you will be able to un-derstand everything and how money is going to come..”

He cleared his throat and continue.
“…Is not a real anointing power, I said we will pretending and fall. You know how people that falls un-der the anointing power behaves? That’s what we will act and after the whole show, we will answer the alter call of accepting the Lord nd repenting from our sins, becoming part of their Church members. we will be called to wait after church and the ministers will talk to us and we will narrate some of our lives sad stories to him . You can add anything that will sweetened up your story and at the end we will be giving gift of cash and other materials like Bible which we can also sell and make more money..”

I was silently downloading everything he said
“Isn’t all of this things you mentioned a sin before God and man? What if we get caught for putting up such a fake show in a church? What if the man of God carries real power, a real man of God that’s having a real calling and can even curse us if God reveal to him what we were up-to? All of this is too much sin, I am only looking for job, I don’t want any curse or trouble from anyone or even from God. I don’t want to start incurring a curse upon myself and definitely can’t even act all this drama…”

He chuckled and said.
“Sin? There is nothing like sin in what I said because God un-derstand that we’re only hustling to feed. I know this man of God and don’t think he has power like that and we will have to make it very convincing..”

“,I can’t, this is not something I can possibly do. Is a bad idea and appears like a sin..”

“Is not a sin, even if it happened to be a sin then is just a very little sin which does not really count. We’re not stealing anything from anybody, we are not killing anyone, we are not sinning in a big way, we’re only putting up an act, I call it hustle for a living. Is just one small sin, I’m sure God will not even count it..God will overlook it. This church may even give you money to start your own business, they will want to encourage you to stick to their Church as their members. Some of this churches usually hustle for members and will do anything to have you stay. The program is in three days, you have enough time to think about it. Nobody really cares about you in this country, so my guy, you have to think fast before hunger or frustration renders you useless..”

He wrote down his number on the flier and hand it over to me.
“…I will be waiting for your call..” he said before leaving.

Konji is his name, he added it along with his mobile number. His name is funny just like his hustle.
I really don’t know what to make out of this kind of job offer from Konji.

(Do Not take credit or plagiarize AMAH’S HEART stories)