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THE WASH

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THE WASH
 
Ajayi knew he was sunk. He was really screwed this time. His greatest nightmare rested firmly on the palm of his mother. He knew his room was prone to invasions because it was always open and his door doesn’t boast of having a lock and he’d been careful all these years to hide anything incriminating from prying eyes, especially the eyes belonging to his mother but he’d never for one day thought this day would come.
 
“Answer me o Ajayi! What is this pack of condoms doing in your box?” His mom barked
 
“I…I..” He stammered
 
“You what? Eh? You what?” She howled. There was no way out of this. No escape route. This was the biggest jam he’d ever been in. If only she’d give me some time to think Ajayi thought bitterly.
 
“So you have suddenly become deaf ehn?” His mom fired. “So this is what your father and I sent you to university for shebi? All the many thasun we spent on you, this is what you use it for ba?” Ajayi knew he had to act fast or his father who was to come back from work in a few minutes, will skin him alive. He didn’t know how the words came, all he knew was that his mouth opened and rescue spoke
 
“It was distributed to us by an NGO that came to visit our school” If this worked, it’ll be greatest lie he ever told
 
“NGO…what is NGO?” She implored. Her voice dropped a bit from the shrill it had moments ago. She started to buy it.
 
“Mummy, NGO means Non-Governmental Organization. Just like those people that walk round the streets on saturday offering anti-polio treatment to babies” Ajayi claimed.
 
“Ehen?”
 
“Yes ma”
 
“So why did they supply condoms to you little children in school na? Do they want to spoil you people? And why did you accept?” She quipped. Ajayi knew his mother has been fully washed. He started dancing Shakiti Bobo in his mind.
 
“They said the university is filled with youths engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse which leads to unwanted pregnancy which will in turn make students to have abortions or spreading the deadly HIV/AIDS disease.” His mom nodded for him to continue
 
“Our faculty officer mandated everyone of us to collect at least one pack. I didn’t want to take before o. But when I saw that those who took before me were writing their names on a list, I had to because they were to submit the list to the faculty officer after everything and I heard the man will deal with people that their names were not found on the list” Ajayi declared.
 
“Okay” she responded. “I know my Ajayi would never buy something like this. I’ll throw it away” and she left Ajayi and went outside. Ajayi quickly searched his ‘banks’ inside his room and removed all the condoms he kept. And he started celebrating. He just washed his mom! He quickly gulped a chilled Orijin he took from the fridge. He sanitized his room completely, however….
 
2 Weeks Later
 
When Ajayi saw the outside bulbs at his house glowing, he beamed with joy. Finally his dad had called the electrician to change the burnt wire in their fuse. He entered the house to meet his parents in the sitting room, happily watching a soap-opera. He greeted them, they answered cheerfully.
 
“Daddy, I’m happy you called the electrician to repair the light o” Ajayi remarked “It would’ve been dull living in this house for one week without light before going back to school o”
 
“Yes my son” His father quipped “Something funny happened when the electrician was here”
 
“Baba what happened?”
 
“The electrician came and quickly checked the outside fuse and then began to trace the burnt wire. He climbed the sitting room manhole ceiling and came down after some minutes and said the fault was coming from the ring socket in your room that connected with the light bulb in your room as well. The electrician asked if there was a manhole in your ceiling, I said yes and he climbed your ceiling.”
 
Ajayi’s smile faltered. He began to pant, his heart beating faster than usual. He knew what was coming next. He looked at his mom. Her expression now vicious. His father continued
 
“I heard him shout Mogbe! and I asked him what the problem was. He said the wire burnt because something there disrupted it”
 
Ajayi’s legs were already shaking.
 
“So how did these” His father threw what he now held forcefully at Ajayi “got to the ceiling?”
 
It was four of Ajayi’s Porno DVD packs.
 
“I guess the NGO also gave those to you too” Ajayi’s mom sneered angrily.
 
 
 
THE END
 
 
 
BY Emmanuel Okoro.

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