(Love in circles)
BY BLESSING SILVER
I stood transfixed for a while, probably waiting for Allan to make a move.. It took a while for me to see that he was asleep, though his eyes was partly open and facing me but he wasn’t looking at me neither was his attention on me.. He was sleeping..
I sighed deeply and held my chest.. My heart almost leapt to my mouth back there.. It’s definitely going to be a dreadful night if he had truly been awake.
I picked my bag from the floor and walked to the dinning table, I saw the empty plates and half drunk glass of water.. He probably ate and while trying to get to the couch, he must’ve slumped on it and slept off.
I packed the dishes and left them on the sink, I walked to my room, having no appetite to eat, I showered and dressed for bed. I walked to my reading table, turned on my lamp and grabbed my notebooks and pen. I don’t feel sleepy at all, memories of what Jason tried to do was enough to keep me awake. I moistened my lower lip.. My life’s so complicated. Turns out my crush whom I thought was beginning to feel something for me, also rejected me. Can life get any worse? I looked down at my hand and noticed the scar Nicholas had seen.. If he could be so curious about the little scar that was on the visible part of my body then he’ll definitely freak out when he sees the ones that my clothes shield.. My heart has the biggest wound of all, Jason game today completely crumpled it and right now, I could say I don’t have a heart any longer.
I could’ve said something to anyone but I can’t.. The family I’ve always wanted with Allan would go away forever and honestly I don’t think I’ll be able to live with the guilt that everyone I call family would go because of me. My parent left because of me, I can’t let Allan go too. He’s never been like this to me before, mom and dad death changed him and I’m positive that he’ll come around when those scars have been healed even though it’d take time.. He’s my only family and I can’t lose him too.
I shut my eyes and breathed out, opening it I faced my books and started flipping through the pages to read.
“WHAT? YOU MEAN JASON TR–
“Bring it down Martha!” I cautioned, looking around the hall to see if her yelling got anyone’s attention and fortunately enough it didn’t.. I stopped her from walking and we moved to the rail..
“Sorry. You mean Jason took you to a hotel and tried to have his way with you forcefully?!” She said, more lowly this time but the enthusiasm was still there. I nodded with a sigh..
“Why didn’t you kill the bastard?!”
“What could I have done Martha, I was completely helpless and besides the wh0le place was booming with music, I couldn’t do anything”
“That son of a bitch” she gritted “I told you all his niceness wasn’t pure, he definitely has a motive but I didn’t know it was this far”
“I guess he was drunk when he tried to–
“Wait what.. You’re taking sides with that douchbag now? After what he did to you?” She asked huskily.
“No.. I’m just trying to think of a reason why he’d do that to me”
“Can’t you see it Jackie? that pervert is a maniac! He think every lady’s going to go to bed with him just because he’s a stupid sport god..
Gosh! I feel so pissed right now” she said. “I’m reporting him” she said, trying to walk but I held her back.
“And why not? Don’t tell me you’re still head over heels in love with that grossy dude”
“It’s not that Martha, I agree I once loved him but after what happened yesterday, I think I hate him now”
“Wait, you think?”
“Then why can’t we report him to the cops or principal Howard.. He needs to pay for what he tried to do”
“No Martha, I mean I know he needs to pay but what evidence do we have if we report him? We have nothing Martha.. Jason can just deny it and everyone will believe him. He’s popular in a good way while I’m just a nerdy loner” I said, resting my back on the wall.
Martha came to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, a comforting look on her face.
“If we can’t make him pay in jail then why don’t we make him pay fistically?” Martha said and my brows furrowed in confusion.
“Fistically? I don’t understand”
“Come.. I’ll show you”
“Wait,” I held her back “You’re not planning on fighting him.. Are you?”
“That’s exactly what I plan on doing.. The dude have to taste his own blood for what he did”
“No Martha, that won’t solve anything; it’ll only put me in trouble”
If eventually we fight him and get called by principal Howard.. She’ll think we fought for no reason because I’m positive Jason is going to deny it and she’ll believe him; who wouldn’t?”
Then she’ll send for my brother and I’ll be in more shits.. I said to my mind.
“You’re right.. So what are we going to do?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing we can do.. I’m only glad he didn’t have his way with me.. I just don’t want anymore trouble” I said and Martha hugged me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to me.
“It’s okay” we disengaged “I’ll just tell Mrs Howard that I won’t be tutoring Jason anymore then we can cut out any tie that would make us meet” I said and she nodded.
“Should I come with you?”
“There’ll be no need for that. I can do it alone” I said and she nodded.
“I’ll be waiting for you here”
“Thanks” I smiled slowly at her and walk past her to the principal’s office.
I slowly climbed the stairs to the upper floor, getting there I walked down the hallway to her office.. Getting there I knocked and moved in after hearing a ‘come in’..
“Good day ma’am” I greeted and with an observant look and a stretched out hand, she offered me a sit and I took it. She closer the file before her, putting a pen between the pages.. She adjusted her glasses.
“Yes, how can I help you Ms Dawson?” She asked and before I could say a word in response she spoke again.
“You’re Jason’s assigned tutor, aren’t you?”
“Yes” I responded and she nodded.
“Are you here to report Jason? Hold on have he been skipping classes?”
“No ma’am.. I’m actually here to tell you I can’t tutor him anymore” I said, rubbing my palms lightly.
“Oh why? Did he say something bad to you? Have he been showing unserious traits? Tell me and I’ll ensure he gets punished for it–
“No ma’am nothing like that happened.. I’ve just been really busy lately, I don’t think I can cope with tutoring him anymore” I said and after a long look, she sighed and nodded.
“I understand. You can stop tutoring him, I’ll just get a replacement. Send all the instruments back to me later today”
“Yes ma’am. That’s all”
“You may leave” I stood up and walked out of her office.
Getting once again to the hallway, I walked down it and just when I was about to reach the stairs, a grip forcefully pulled me and a slow shriek yanked out of my mouth as a palm got pressed to it and my back met a hard surface. Slowly, I looked over at the person that had pulled me and still feeling the obstruction over my lips, my eyes grew wide. I yanked his hand off and pulled away from him..
“Jason!” I called in anger and disgust..
A smirk moved to his lips “Hey babe” he said and somehow I felt like slapping the stupid smirk off his face.
I gave him a glare and turned to leave but he drew me back..I yank his hand off.
“Not so fast sweety,”
“What do you want from me?”
He scoffed “That’s no way to talk to a guy that treated you nicely yesterday”
“You’re crazy.. You know you’re still here because I haven’t reported you. Right?”
“Reported me? Sorry for what?” He asked sarcastically “last time I checked it was you who willingly followed me to a club party in the night and besides what are you reporting me for?
For trying to use you to get at Nicholas, you think anyone will be believe that?” He asked with a goofy grin.. “And for the record, you were too easy to fool, I always knew Nicholas would go for petty stuffs like himself.. I saw how you got heated up at my presence, you even followed me to a club and then a hotel room.. I’m sure it’d have been a different story if Nick hadn’t interrupted” he said and my anger welled up.
I can’t believe I once had a diehard crush for this belligerent beast and to think that I was taking risks just to see him feels so stupid on my part right now..
“I agree, I once had a deep likeness for you and that was because I thought your heart and thoughts were as beautiful as your face and believe me, right now after knowing the real you; you’re at the top of my hate list” I said and his face twitched to a frown.
“I could’ve done worse to your face than I did to your hand if there was a way. I might be easy to lure but trust me, I learn from my mistakes. I’m only letting this go because firstly, I had a way out and secondly, Nicholas saved me–
“You bitch!” He dragged my wrist and I tried yanking it off but his grip was stronger this time “Are you picking Nicholas over me? Why? Do you love him that much?; if yes, why did you go out with me? Was Nicholas not enough for you?”
“There’s nothing going on between Nicholas and I; I don’t even know why I’m talking to you and yes, I’d pick Nicholas a thousand times over a beast like you” I said and his brows furrowed deeply..
“You’re only picking him because you have no idea about who he truly is and I’ll tell you.. Nicholas is a monster–
“No. The only monster here and in this building is you”
“You don’t believe me?; why don’t you try asking him why he doesn’t stay with his family”
I gave Jason a long blank stare, making him think his balderdash were somehow making sense to me.. I yanked my wrist off his grip.
“I say it again to your face Jason Gonzales.. The only monster I see, is you” I said, my gaze looking up at his.
I don’t know where the courage came from but I know what happened was enough to give me strength. I mustered courage and walked away.
I walked back to Martha who seem to be more closer to me than ever, I guess she’s trying to help take the incident out of my head but I was sure it’s something that won’t be going soon. After lessons and practicals, we head home.. Martha pecked my cheeks and after a friendly hug, we parted.
After lunch, I wrapped Allan’s without drugging it and walked to Nicholas house.. It took minutes to get there and when I did, I watched the gate open for me and I journeyed to the porch.. I knocked and got no response, I repeated the process but still got no answer.. Giving up, I tried twisting the knob and it gave way, I opened the door and walked in. Staring at the spacious sitting room that was void of human except me, I walked further into it.
“Nicholas,” I called, standing in the middle of the room. “Nick are you in?” I called again.
My voice trailed off when I heard a faint sound, I strained my ear and heard it louder.. It was like a pain cry. I quickly rushed to the direction and it was in Nicholas room..
I pushed it open and my mouth dropped when I saw him bent on the floor, choking on whatever and uttering faint sounds.. I was about rushing to him but my feet stopped moving when I saw his face and hands.. My eyes popped more wider…
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