Without Bridges episode 1 – 2

Without Bridges

Episode 1
Mother sent me on an errand to get a pack of cigarette for father. It was drizzling but yet I still walked in the rain in dire search for a pack of cigarette; I was only fourteen. Basically all shops were closed, it was a Sunday morning. My mate had gone to church, but here I was in search for “rom-n” cigarette dad would prefer I go to the mosque anyway since he’s a Muslim.

I got tired of searching but I couldn’t go home. I dare not go home . I was scared of how angry father would get. I was scared of the ‘koboko’ underneath his bed. He would beat the hell out of me and then mal-handle my mother. I sometimes doubt the authenticity of his paternity.

Severally I would try to hide my scars away from curious eyes but there was one person I couldn’t hide it from; Miss Zainab Danjuma, my social studies teacher in school. After tirelessly searching for a shop opened on a Sunday in the village, I gave up.

Suddenly I sat on a bush path and busted into tears; a rehearsal of what was yet to come if I returned back home without the Cigarette. I sat down and pondered on how pathetic life is for me. Severally I had I had imagined and dreamt of running off with mother only to wake up to a disappointing reality of life in her father’s dungeon. I sobbed h-rder and louder then I felt a hand touch my back.

I gasped almost running away when I noticed it was no other than Mr Titus, a well known and influential man who came visiting with his family and kids. “It’s even you Sir” “Sorry for scaring you dear” he apologized and I sniffed from crying then I cleaned my tears. “Why are you crying?” He asked, I simply looked down then fiddled with my fingers; a hundred naira in my hand.

“Sir… my father sent me on an errand to get him…..” I trailed off usually embarrassed to tell someone my father was a smoker. “Cigarette” I completed.

“So?” he asked, “I couldn’t find it”

“Go back home and tell him you didn’t see it”

“Ha Sir….. My father would kill me….I can’t oh” I replied as tears came building up once more. “Sir, do you know where else I can get…. Maybe you’ve seen any shop opened from the direction you took”

“No” he replied and I was saddened by his reply being so frustrated and desperate. “On a second thought; I did see one open” he added as if trying to remember where”

A smile crept through my face and I found myself already thanking the man. “Where?” I asked and he pointed and I walked the direction. After five minute of walking in the bush path, I turned towards Mr.Titus seeking for more direction only to see him with a grin on his face. “Sir where is the place?”

“I don’t remember again” he answered and I became worried. Something struck me as wrong that moment but I just couldn’t point my fingers at what exactly. “What’s your name?” he asked, “My name is Aishat Narudeen”

“Do you know you’re pretty?” he asked placing his hands on my cheek, “Thank you Sir” I replied feeling uncomfortable. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen”

“Wow…” he muttered his eyes fixed on my bre*st. My naïve mind immediately interpreted the wh0le thing. I’ve heard of cases like this, Mrs Aisha would always advise girls to run at this moment.

I immediately surveyed the wh0le place for escaped route then I felt Mr. Titus’ hand on my left bre*st. I let out a soft gasp trembling in fear and before I knew it, both hands were m-ssaging my bre*st. “Sir” I manage to say slightly moving backwards. “What?” he asked laughing, “You like it shea?”

“No” I replied moving backward.

Episode 2
“No” I replied moving back.

“I don’t like it and I don’t want it” I answered and he grabbed me by the wa-ist while I tried to struggle out of his strong and tight grip. My effort was futile! My fourteen years old strength was no match for him.

Mr. Titus began to k-ss me on my neck while raising the gown I wore. I bit his arm with hopes that he’d leave me so i could run but it only worsened things. He threw me on the floor and I scre-med for help but he threatened to kill me if I did.

Then he mounted on me, unfastening his belt, I cried silently praying for God’s help… no one came, the only sound I heard around was the rustling on leaves from where I laid and the sound of Him unzipping his trousers then next thing I felt was a sharp pain that almost drove me mad. It didn’t stop, it continued as he further thr-st in and out of me! Boiling tears trickled down the edges of my eye. I had just been forced…..

I went back home, hærdly able to walk. Fortunately for me, dad wasn’t home but mom was in the kitchen still preparing breakfast. She was busy turning the fufu from the pot into a blue basin. She noticed my movement and asked why I walked that way.

I sobbed uncontrollable as she immediately moved close for a hug. “You didn’t see the cigar shea?” she asked and I nodded as more tears fell.

“It’s okay dear…. I’ll think of something to tell your father so he can let you off”

“But he’ll beat you” I whined.

“At least you’ll be fine” Mother replied hugging me; my face now rested on her br-ast.

Five weeks went by and I felt diseased, filthy and sinful. Focusing on my academics became difficult as I couldn’t concentrate any longer. I felt insecure; every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was the infuriating and disgusting image of Mr. Titus forcefully defiling me.

On a Thursday, I refused going to school because I felt sick. Later that afternoon Miss Zainab paid a visit to me. We had a long chat as she insisted on knowing the reason for my sudden withdrawal from everyone. After a while, she called my mom aside; I overheard her tell mother that I had gone through something emotional and I was keeping it away from her.

She ended the conversation by telling mom that if i don’t open up and if I keep shutting everyone out, I might not recover; the more open I become, the better for me.

I made a decision afterwards to reveal the wh0le thing to mother but something within didn’t want to face the shame so I kept shut and held my peace.

I fainted on a Saturday morning while drying my father’s clothes on the wire hung just outside the house. Then I was rushed to the hospital where the worst was confirmed. I was a month pregnant!! I never knew until mom came into the ward where I was in tears. “How could you do this to me Aisha?” mom, asked a confused me.

“I don’t understand” I replied racking my brain in search of what I must have done wrong. “How long has it been?” she added and I became even more confused. “Mother have I done anything wrong?” I asked receiving a loud slap on the face.

For a moment, I thought my ear drum broke. It slap resounded over and over as I heard a ringing sound in continuum.

“How long have you been having s*x?” she asked almost immediately after the slap. I grew scared, I have been found out, I began to wonder how since I hadn’t said anything to anyone concerning my rape.

Mom held tightly to the top I wore as if trying to get a customer to pay a debt. “You had better kill me Aisha or else I’ll kill you myself then kill myself before your father does cause if he finds out, you’re a dead meat!”

Miss Zainab walked in that moment pulling my mother away from me; all I could do was cry in silence. If only I could bring myself down to tell her. “Why are you treating her that way now?” she asked holding firm mom’s hands together; though mom was struggling to free herself from the grip.

“What happened?” she asked, “Ask her!” mom yelled pointing at me.

Miss Zainab turned to me then back at mom. “Mrs Narudeen, what’s going on?” she asked, “Aisha’s pregnant! My daughter…..” mom trailed off.

I couldn’t believe it…. I couldn’t believe my ears.

Miss Zainab gaze fell on me. “That’s impossible” she muttered then walked close to me. “Aisha is a good girl…she wouldn’t”

“She can’t even speak! Look at her!” mom yelled pointing at me. I felt ashamed, “Aisha” Miss Zainab called out with a soft voice, “How long has it been since you….” She trailed off, I couldn’t give her a reply; I only cried with my head bowed in indignity.

“Who’s responsible for it?” she added but I kept mute. “Aisha!” she shouted which provoke me sobbing uncontrollably.

“Did he entice you with gift? That’s what they usually do”

I shook my head now looking up at her. I could see the care on her face. “He didn’t entice me Miss Zainab….he r*ped me”

Both mom and Miss Zainab gawked in shock; mom covered her mouth with her palm.

Tbc