WOUNDED 💢 💔
BY RUTHIE LEE 🌸 🌸
“Samuel…” I sighed.
Still on the bed, I got on my knees and scoot closer to him and my head leaning down towards his. He understood the situation and tensed up when but surprisingly reciprocated when our lips came into contact.
My hands moved towards his neck and and circled slowly around them. My legs moved and I was straddling him completely on the bed.
Our breathing matched and our heart beats was starting to become louder than our breathings.
Samuel was reciprocating, he was showing that he wanted to kiss me back, but he’s not a very good kisser.
I still felt his tense muscles and his hands were in a fist on both of his sides.
I’m usually a rough kisser, but I was slow and gentle with Samuel, I was letting him feel, letting him know what direction to go and when he has to tilt his head and what lip he has to grab next, this is definitely his first kiss, he was perfectly clueless and it was just cute of him.
After getting the gist of what we were doing, Samuel was finally getting the rhythm of the kiss and we both just went on and on slowly without having any intentions of stopping. Our eyes shut and our breathing synching.
My hands slowly moved to his tense muscles and after giving both of his arms a small squeeze, I opened his tight fist and slowly placed his hands around my waist. Surprisingly his hands went around tighter immediately it landed on my waste.
The air was getting hot and intense and suddenly I started to kiss him a little rougher than normal, I haven’t felt this way before. Kissing someone you actually love. It was something new, and my head just saw chromatic things that I haven’t seen before, I felt this sensations in between my legs and then up to my stomach and then to my chest, It was a new found feeling and it was amazing.
Seeing that I have gotten so rough, I paused, opened my eyes and moved my head back a little.
Samuel slowly opened his eyes and our eyes meeting made my heart skip a beat.
This is all too much to take in, but at the same time, I want to take more than I can carry.
“I’m sorry, I was going a little too rough wasn’t I…!” I smiled nervously.
“It’s… Okay… I.. I… Liked it” Samuel stuttered and my smile grew even more.
Slowly our heads met again before our lips and we just continued… I started to go a little rough and since he said he liked, I let him keep up, but then I paused. I moved my head back and came down from his thigh.
I didn’t want to stop, but then I felt this inexplicable feeling and I just stopped.
I sighed and Samuel turned to me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing… I just felt like we should stop.”
Samuel nodded and I shut my eyes and opened them back again.
I grabbed my bag at the edge of the bed, opened it and took out my phone to look at the time.
“Nine thirty already?” I gasped.
“Really?” Samuel asked and I nodded.
Tochi didn’t call me and wait, did I spend so much time here without even realising it?
I tried calling Tochi to see if she was back but it just kept ringing and she didn’t pick up.
Samuel chimed in. “Even if she picks up and tell you she’s back, it’s too late and dark for you to walk over to your hostel, it’s pretty dangerous at night here.”
I sighed. “So are you considering I stay here overnight?”.
“Y–yes” Samuel stated.
“Thanks” I smiled and dropped my phone back inside my bag.
I laid on the bed and watch Samuel sit and think in quiet.
My heart was racing, sleeping here overnight, the kiss we just had, even his presence. It was making my heart race. But I am pretty good at hiding how I really feel.
“What are you thinking?” I asked Samuel snapping him out of his reverie.
He turned and glance at me behind him.
“Nothing…” he stated when our gaze locked.
“It can’t possibly be nothing you were seriously lost in thoughts, I don’t mind if you share it.” I blurted now laying on my stomach and resting my head on his pillow.
“I…i was just thinking about the kiss… What does it mean…” Samuel asked, his voice was low and you could tell he was trying his best not to sound as flustered as he looks.
“What does it mean?” I repeated.
“We had it, what does it signify?” he said trying to sound clearer but I could hardly understand what he meant.
“Do you mean like after the kiss, where do we stand as?” I asked and he nodded.
I breathed out a sigh. “I don’t know what do you think?”
After a kiss like that. Can we actually stand as being friends, to be honest I want us to be more than friends, but I’m scared. I am so scared right now.
“What do you want us to stand as?” Samuel returned the question.
How is he such a cooperating dude…
I want us to be more than friends. I want us to be in a relationship where we can never get out of sight from each other because I love you so much and haven’t felt this way before. Honestly I’m crazy over you Samuel.
Like I could possibly say that.
“Can we just stay friends.?” I could feel my eyes getting hot from what I just blurt out.
Samuel gave a small smile. “If that is what you want then.”
“We can just be friends… Friends who has feelings for each other, that is okay right?” I sniffed.
My sudden sniff.
“Bridget… Why are you crying?” Samuel asked turning his body fully to my direction.
“I don’t know!” I laughed wiping the stupid tears that fell out of my eyes.
“Look Bridget. I don’t know what your reasons are but I accept and respect your wishes, please don’t cry!” his voice sounded worried and now see that’s one of the reason why I should cry. Because he’s so perfect and I’m not. I’m way far from perfect.
I do not think anyone will like me if they ever find out about my past, no one would. And for the first time in my life I was ashamed and I wished to go back in time and grow up in another way to meet Samuel. I knew what I was doing wasn’t a very good job, but I didn’t care what anyone thinks. Neither was I ashamed. Neither did i had any feeling of regret. But now, this moment, realising my feelings, I do care if Samuel finds out.
I gave a rueful smile. “I’m not crying, I’m just… Happy”
“Happy?” Samuel repeated.
“Yes… You’re respecting my wish and that means so much” I sat up, facing samuel I could feel my lashes w€t and I dried them with my fingers. “We can just keep the feelings intact and stay as friends you can go on and date other girls, that’s okay, because it will be a really good way for the feelings you have for me to die.”
Samuel’s blank expression made me smile.
How the little meaningless thing he does makes me smile.
And how I’m just letting him go, even though he feels the same way for me.
How is this world so cruel. Nothing actually falls in place.
“So… What do you say? Do you agree with me?” I asked.
He nodded, not one of his best nods. “Whatever you say!”
“Thank you” I stated and laid down on the bed. “I’m sleepy” I announced.
Samuel stood up. “I am too, well I won’t disturb you, just make sure to turn off the lights and leave the night light on when you see you’re finally getting into a deep sleep” Samuel explained walking towards the door.
“W-where are you going?” I asked.
“Oh don’t mind me, I’ll be sleeping in the living room, you can stay here”. He replied.
“But your couch isn’t even broad or spacious enough for a baby goat to sleep in. How are y-
“I’ll sleep on the floor” Samuel interrupted me.
“On the floor? But there’s enough room in here for you to still sleep on the floor and no the tile is really cold even when it’s sunny and now sleeping on a tile floor at night, no matter how thick the mattress you have to put on top is you’ll still get cold.” I explained. “And your bed is big enough for three people so stop being a big baby and come sleep with me.” I paused.
“Oh my god that sounded so weird” I gasped. “I’m so sorry”. I laughed
Samuel tried to hide his smile, “it’s okay, I know you mean I should share the bed with you and nothing else. It’s okay to think something eerie every once in a while.”
I gave Samuel a look. “are you indirectly calling me a pervert?”
“N-No.. No that’s… That is not what I meant” Samuel quickly said.
“It’s okay” I laughed.
The night was quiet and the room was less bright with the fluorescent light off and a night stand light on Samuel’s desk, keeping the room dim. At least the room wasn’t dark you could see silhouette of things.
And silhouette of Samuel lying down in front of me on the bed almost twenty inches away from me.
“Samuel.” I called and he slowly turned to me. I couldn’t see his face and it was okay, seeing just a silhouette of him. At least I won’t get enthralled if he smiled.
“What?” his voice was soft.
“Nothing, I just called to see if you were asleep” I Lied. I know he was fully awake I didn’t know why I called him.
“Well I’m still awake” he mumbled.
“Sorry, I can see that now” I chuckled.
We both remained quiet and I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep. But I couldn’t. I was feeling sleepy minutes ago, but now I can’t seem to fall asleep.
“I can’t sleep” I breathed out.
“You can’t!” Samuel’s voice breathed out.
He’s not asleep too.
“I can’t, maybe it’s because, I’m not used to this place. It’s my first time sleeping out” I stated.
No. It’s because Samuel is in front of me. I can’t sleep because I feel this nervousness and excitement at the same time.
I sighed and scoot closer to Samuel.
“If you don’t mind” my voice was low.
I slowly grabbed Samuel’s hand and placed it around my body. “please… Let’s just stay like this, maybe it’ll help me fall asleep”.
“Oh..okay” Samuel agreed and with a smile, I buried my head in Samuel’s chest.
Slowly I found myself falling asleep.
The sound of a door being slammed could be heard but it was from afar, could be other people living in the building. I slowly opened my eyes to see the room has brightened a little bit, I could heard Samuel’s breathing above my head and I felt his hand around my body, I smiled and closed my eyes again, I could relive this moment a hundred times.
I closed my eyes wanting to fall alseep again but a familiar voice startled me.
“Well, what am I looking at right now?”.
I opened my eyes and sat up immediately to see Kingsley standing at the door.
And it was morning already.
T. B. C
BY RUTHIE LEE 🌸 🌸