Defiled chapter 5
Defiled (episode 5)
When you forgive someone that hurt you directly or indirectly, you didn’t only do them a favor but yourself too. What most people don’t know is that forgiveness favors both the giver and the receiver. No matter how much you try to justify the reason for holding any form of grudge against someone, it doesn’t still take away the fact that you are hurting yourself in the process. In Belinda’s case, she was angry at her husband ‘Sam’ for his inability to protect her from the robbers that invaded their home and raped her in the process of robbing them. That anger made it extremely difficult for the couple to heal and move on, hence the reason their home sadly became a place of bitterness, unhappiness, frustration and anger.
It’s been about four months since the robbery happened and one would think the couple had at least made a little progress in their healing process but sadly they hadn’t. However, it’s a relief that Belinda was finally able to render forgiveness to her husband after her therapist helped her see reasons to let go of the pain she had been holding in her heart. At this point, it’s safe to say that their healing journey had just began!
As Belinda and Sam hugged each other tightly while in tears, they began to reaffirmed their love for each other. It was such an uplifting moment and before they knew it, their love for one another rekindled. Sam wanted to k-ss his wife so bad but was kinda scared to do so because he wasn’t sure she was totally healed of the rape trauma. He didn’t want to awaken any traumatizing memory by touching her intimately so he respectfully held himself back from going beyond hugging her.
That day was the beginning of something positive in the couple’s marriage. Things hadn’t automatically gotten back to the way it used to be in their marriage but at least, their home didn’t have a hostile atmosphere anymore. Belinda no longer locked herself up in the room all day crying, but rather, she was now accessible, intEr×¢tive and lively. Gradually, she began to cook meals in the house like she used to and after this tremendous development continued for a wh0le week, Sam began to cut down on his trips to the restaurant to get their meals. It was refreshing for Sam to eat his wife’s meal again after such a long while of being unable to. The fact that Belinda now entered the kitchen to cook gave him a sense of hope that she would fully heal from her trauma someday. What a beautiful improvement indeed!
It’s been two weeks since Belinda began her therapy sessions with Lara and to be honest, there has been great improvements in such a short while. Belinda never missed her therapy sessions daily and this helped her heal faster. On the other hand, Sam had attended therapy just twice since Belinda started because of his tight schedule. He was having a hærd time leaving his business to attend therapy but usually tried to make it up whenever he had the slightest free time. However, he was happy his wife was fully available for therapy because she was more affected by the robbery than he was.
One fateful day, Sam and Belinda were fortunate enough to attend therapy together. It was the first time they were having their therapy session together as a couple. Before then, they were being counselled separately by Lara but for that very day, she wanted to counsel them together as a couple so as to help them tackle their intimatcy problem. It was a long shot but Lara was willing to pull the trigger.
“Good day Mr & Mrs Samuel, I’m so happy to see you both today” Lara happily said and the couple reciprocated her greetings. After everyone had settled down, a conversation began. “Mr Sam, can you tell me one thing you would like for us to achieve in today’s therapy session?” Lara asked. It took about a minute before Sam gave her a reply. “I would like for me and my wife to resolve our Intimacy issue” he calmly said.
After Sam gave his reply, the therapist turned to Belinda and asked the same question but she was mute. Lara gave her enough time to think about her answer and after being quiet for a while, she finally replied the question. “I would like to heal from anything that is hindering me from being intimate with my husband” she said. When the couple were done giving their answers, Lara began to seek for ways to grant their desires. She genuinely wanted the couple to get back the lost spark in their intimate life but had to be careful not to worsen the situation by pulling the wrong trigger. After a brief silence in the atmosphere, the conversation continued.
“Mrs Belinda, what do you think is the problem with your Intimacy as a couple?” Lara asked, “I feel it has a lot to do with the fact that I was raped” Belinda promptly replied. Lara paused for a few seconds and continued; “Can you tell me why your husband is affected?” She asked, “I think it’s because I am still traumatized” Belinda replied.
With that being said, the therapist turned towards Sam’s direction and began to probe him as well. “How has life been like for you without your ability to touch your wife?” She asked and he took about a minute before replying. “To be honest, it has been a bit frustrating and draining but I have been able to keep myself calm by trying to understand what she is going through and also empathize with her” he calmly said. Lara paused for a moment before asking Sam more questions. “For how long more do you think you can hang on without Intimacy till your wife gets over her trauma?” Lara asked and Sam froze.
For over three minutes, Sam was mute and didn’t know the right reply to give to the therapist. He didn’t want to lie but at the same time, he knew that being completely honest might hurt his wife. However, in other to keep the conversation truthful, he had to be honest with his reply. “To be sincere, I honestly don’t know how much longer I can go without touching her and still be sane but I’m willing to wait regardless of how starved I might be” he calmly said.
When they were done talking, Lara took a deep breath before addressing them further. She wanted to help them as much as she could to overcome their problem. “I need the both of you to know something and it’s the fact that you are for each other and not against yourselves. Begin to see yourselves as partners and team players in this healing journey and that way, you both will overcome your traumas way faster than you would have done if you continue seeing yourselves as individual parties in this journey. The both of you have to help each other by trusting yourselves again. You need to realize that you are not enemies but rather friends. Give yourselves as many chances as possible to be happy again as a couple because you both deserve it” Lara said.
Immediately the therapist was done talking, the couple began to ponder on all she had said to see how best they could implement it. It was such a productive day at therapy and the couple was glad for the massive progress that session had done in their minds. When the therapy came to an end for the day, they thanked Lara before heading home.
All through the ride home, neither Belinda nor Sam spoke to each other. They were tensed as their minds were full of numerous thoughts. Deep down, Belinda knew that one therapy session wasn’t going to be enough to revive their dead intimate life but not withstanding, it helped them to face their fears and talk about how they felt. However, despite still being a bit uptight, Belinda couldn’t deny the fact that she was dying to feel her husband’s touch again. She managed to keep calm all through the ride back home but her mind was filled with thoughts of what her next course of action would be.
Immediately the couple arrived home, they got down from the car and walked into the house. Sam was with the house keys so he put his hand into his pocket, brought out the keys and opened the front door for Belinda to enter.
Immediately Belinda got in, she waited for her husband to get in too and when he did, she held his shirt and gently pulled him towards her direction and before he could even process what was happening, she planted a soft k-ss on his l-ips and gently said “I miss this”.
End of episode 5 😉
Stay tuned tomorrow to see what happened next.