Opana the coffin maker episode 66

Opana – Episode 66
 
© Akoto Alexander
 
In no time the cousin of Julia shows up at the airport car park and Julia and Mike joins her over there. Julia does the sorting out of things and hands over the main package to Mike and issues out a caution.
 
Julia: Mickey darling, please in this paper bag is the package for my boss, please on no condition must it be opened and please do well to deliver it to him personally and on time. There is a deadline to meet as far as this package is concerned.
 
Michael Ansah: Don’t worry your pretty head my dear because to whom much is given, much is expected. I will do just as you have instructed me to do and join you later at your mum’s end.
 
Julia: No problem and please pardon my manners. Mickey meet my stubborn and crazy cousin Maame Dufie and Dufie over here is Mickey whom I have told you a lot about.
 
Maame Dufie: Finally I have met the almighty Mickey Darling, well whatever my s€×y cousin told me is exactly what am seeing and it’s my pleasure to meet you handsome.
 
Michael Ansah: Hehehe I hope am safe and your cousin didn’t say bad things about me to you, all the same it’s a great honour to meet your acquaintance.
 
Maame Dufie: You are very safe handsome, actually she keeps buzzing my ears with good things about you which has gotten you into my good books. If she has told you anything about me to you, I believe you might be aware that am not the type who easily show likeness and smile to people but my cousin has managed to make me like you even though I am meeting you for the first time. I know this is the beginning of some better days ahead of us.
 
Julia: Enough of the accolades you two, have you forgotten am here and I am supposed to be the centre of attraction over here? Stop talking before I break a bottle on your heads you two.
 
Maame Dufie: Herh so you won’t you change a bit huh? You always want to be the center of attraction when we kids and still you are in that habit, sit you fat ass down so we hit the road. We have got a 12 to 13hours journey to make and time happens to be our greatest enemy.
 
Julia: Well you are right Dufie, let us get going and Mickey I will text you the necessary information with Dufie’s line when we move from here. Please don’t let me down and go through your things when you get home, I have something in,side for you. (sits in the car so they set off)
 
Maame Dufie: (rolls down the window) Hope to see you soon handsome and it was nice meeting you.
 
Michael Ansah: Same here Maame Dufie, you will see me soon.
 
The moment the car moved from where Mike stood he felt some funny feelings in his stomach. He immediately flags down a taxi and jumps into it. The driver took him home safely and he runs into Quincy’s room, drops the bag in his hand and enters the toilet.
 
Quincy: (jumps onto his feet to see who was chasing Mike) Guy don’t tell me the bodyguards of Julia’s boss are after you again?
 
Michael Ansah: (talking whiles in the toilet) Oh no my guy, I have suddenly developed some stomach upset and my stomach has been rumbling since I left the airport. Charlie my stomach is not showing mercy to me at all.
 
Quincy: Ahaaa this reminds me, where is Julia and why are you here in the first place, I though you were supposed to pick her up at the airport and probably spend the night with her?
 
Michael Ansah: Guy I will give you the rundown when I come out from the toilet, this is not the time for any questionnaire session, I need adequate concentration on what am doing in,side here. Mmmmmmmmmm
 
Quincy: (holds his nose) My friend did you eat the feces of another man? Gosh what the hell do you have in,side your stomach? You go round eating some rotten things you call continental dishes, take it easy over there before you break the toilet seat.
 
 
Michael Ansah: (walks out from the toilet sometime later holding his jeans trouser) Guy I didn’t take anything when I met Julia at the airport. I think the meat I took under the party is the cause, it was so spicy.
 
Quincy: It was so spicy you say, you knew all this and you kept ordering for more. The goat thought it was destroying the wall of his master but he forgot it was rather his hair that he was spoiling. When blackman we get cheap things, we just abuse it and forget the future repercussions, who is now suffering?
 
Michael Ansah: My friend don’t speak out jealousy and let sentiments mislead you to say things that are unpleasant to the ear. (runs back into the toilet)
 
Quincy: Why should I be jealous of you at this time of your life. Who in his right sense will jealous someone who is suffering like you currently? My friend keep quite and suffer over there.
 
Mike comes out later and kept running into the toilet over and over.
 
Quincy: Jack what is happening here is no longer funny, in a space of an hour you have entered the toilet more than nine times and it’s very dangerous. You are losing water in your system and I think the best thing to do now is to take you to the hospital.
 
Michael Ansah: I was about to say the same thing my guy, please let me get my health insurance card so you esc-rt me to the hospital. Right now I feel so weak and light, I feel like…….. (runs back into the toilet)
 
 
Quincy: Charlie don’t die in,side there ooo, I wouldn’t know how to defend myself or explain myself to your family, Julia and your pretty Henrietta. Where is your health insurance card so that I get ready so we go to the hospital, what is going on here looks scary.
 
Quincy steps out and gets a taxi that conveys Mike and himself to the hospital.
 
At the Hospital:
 
Quincy: Nurse please my brother is at the verge of dying, he has developed a severe running stomach where he has visited the toilet more than ten times in an hour. Please he needs immediate attention.
 
Nurse: Does he have a health insurance and are you willing to pay cash for his medical bills if he is not having a health insurance card?
 
Quincy: Aaaaaaaba madam nurse, don’t you think you are asking this question at the wrong time, the case here is very urgent which requires the immediate attention of a medical team and you are standing there to ask if my brother is registered on the health insurance scheme. You better do something fast before it’s damn too late and let me throw this caution of advice to you, see erh if anything bad happens to my brother, the wh0le world will hear negatively about this hospital.
 
Michael Ansah: (in a faint voice) Guy ask her of where their toilet is and please help take me there before I disgrace myself here.
 
Quincy: You heard exactly what my brother said, now can you be gentle enough to direct us there?
 
 
Nurse: Go down the corridor and turn right on the first hallway you see, the male toilet is the third door on that hallway.
 
Quincy: Thank you but please start working on how you are going to receive and treat my brother the moment he steps out of the toilet. (helps Mike to the toilet)
 
Michael Ansah: (still in a faint voice) Thanks very much my guy, you don’t know how things are knocking things down there? But all the same everything happens for a reason, I don’t know how I will go about things without you around me.
 
Nurse: (looks at Mike and Quincy) I pity the youngman, I hope he hasn’t contracted any contaminated or deadly disease. I will get the doctor on standby so that he treats the poor guy.
 
Quincy: Jack are you done in,side there?
 
Michael Ansah: Yes am done, charlie I feel empty and it looks like I will die anytime soon.
 
Quincy: My friend shut up over there, you want to die and leave who on this earth? Get will soon or do you want me to call Henrietta over here?
 
Michael Ansah: That won’t be necessary for now, it’s already late and calling her might put her in a distressed mood.
 
Quincy : See mumu, you don’t want to get her worried but for me I should be the one to suffer huh? If not for the fact that you are my personal person erh, like I will take my boxer off and slap you with it.
 
Michael Ansah: Hahahahaha you are crazy my guy.
 
Quincy: Ah for the first time in 2hours you have managed to let out a laughter, now let’s go and see the nurse. If Maabena was on night duty, we would not go through that question and answer from that uncultered nurse.
 
Nurse 2: Is that our husband that am seeing over here? What are you doing here by this time Quincy?
 
Quincy: Yes oooo, your husband is here on a serious mission. My brother here has developed a terrible running stomach so I brought him over for treatment.
 
Nurse 2: So what are we waiting for? Let me take you to one the wards so I get a doctor to check on you guys, we have got some referrals from the major hospital so am doubting if I can get a bed for you but all the same I will see to it that treatment is commenced on you right now. Please sit here so I get one of the doctors on duty to check on you.
 
Quincy: Thanks so much Yayra, I will definitely tell Maabena how you helped solve the issue we brought here.
 
Nurse 2: Don’t mention my dear, if we give adequate attention to people we don’t know, how then can we turn our backs on the ones we love. Doctor Barnes please I need your attention here.
 
Doctor Barnes: (walks over to Mike) This man looks weak, what is the problem?
 
Quincy: Doc we went for a party and all he consumed was grilled meat and fruit juice. When we got back home he started running to the toilet.
 
Doctor Barnes: I think he is down with food poisoning but I will need him to go for a lab and the results will inform my decision. For now nurse Yayra, direct him to the pharmacy for him to get a drip and this medicines I will write for him. He needs the water he has lost through easing of himself back and the other medicines will stop the running of the stomach. I will be at the female ward so when he’s back with the medicines you call for my attention.
 
Nurse 2: Okay doctor Barnes, thanks so much for attending to us, actually this is the boyfriend of matron Maabena.
 
Doctor Barnes: (whispers to the nurse) Yayra this is the wrong time to do any introduction. Youngman nice meeting you. (walks away)
 
Quincy: Jack I will be right back with the medicines that has been prescribed by the doctor. Nurse Yayra, please can you direct me to the pharmacy?
 
Nurse 2: That pharmacist is annoying when people go there to buy medicine so I will go with you so he expedites things for us, I can see the youngman is really suffering.
 
Quincy: That is kind of you my dear, guy stay here, we will be back very soon with the medicine.
 
Quincy and nurse Yayra rushes to the pharmacy and returns shortly with the prescribed medicines, nurse Yayra immediately connects the drip to Mike then rushes to get the doctor. When the doctor got to where Mike was, he mixed some of the medicines and injected him then he asked him to swallow some of the pills.
 
Doctor Barnes: The medicine in your system now will stop the running stomach, there will be no need to admit you here since the hospital is even short of beds. Nurse please get him some containers so that he gets us samples of his feces in the morning. We will need to run a check on his feces at the lab when they start work in the morning. When the drip finishes you can discharge him and the drip left, he can drink it to replace the lost water in him.
 
Michael Ansah: (in a faint voice) Thank you very much doctor, I am feeling a bit better after taking the pills and injection.
 
Doctor Barnes: It’s my pleasure youngman and next time, becareful with what you consume, where to consume it and when to consume it. I will see you later when you lab results is ready and youngman take very good care of Maabena for me, she is one of our best nurse’s we have here in this hospital.
 
Quincy: Okay doctor and thank you very much for your timely intervention on my brother. We will be back with the sample of his feces so that we get to know what caused the problem.
 
Doctor Barnes: Yayra please tell Sophia to see me at my office right now. (walks away)
 
Nurse 2: Okay doctor Barnes, sweetie you will be okay very soon with the medicine the doctor administered to you. Quincy darling, I have somethings to attend to, I will be back later to check if the drip has finished so that I can discharge you.
 
Michael Ansah: I am very grateful nurse Yayra, your care and attention did the magic.
 
Nurse 2: (releases a big smile) Sweetheart am glad my little effort brought a positive result. I will check up on you later. (walks away)
 
Quincy: Oboy I can see the nurse is interested in you, see the way she smiled at you and left everything she was doing to help you. Let me ask you this and please tell me the truth, have you gone in for any sort charm that when the ladies see you, they fall for you like that?
 
Michael Ansah: You must be crazy to think that way, what was wrong for that pretty lady to smile at me when she was discharging her duties. You are always perceiving negative thoughts in your head, I don’t have much strength to engage you in any fruitless argument this early morning.
 
Quincy: You keep the secret to yourself and don’t open up to me. You eat alone you, you die alone.
 
Nurse 2: (walks back some minutes later) I think I am back at the right time, the drip is finished and based on that I will take the syringe out from your wrist so that I can discharge you finally.
 
Michael Ansah: Ah thanks very much nurse Yayra, the mosquitoes here have been giving me signs to take leave of this place. I must confess you people are really doing well especially those who come for night shift.
 
Nurse 2: What can I say, this is the profession some of us has chose so we do this for God and country. You are now good to go but as the doctor said, please do well to come with your sample of feces so that we can ascertain the enormity of your problem and please do well to come early so that the lab technicians can work on your sample on time.
 
Quincy: My dear we will be here before 8am today so don’t worry your head. I will tell Maabena how good you were to us when we came here.
 
Nurse 2: (smiles as she talks) Ah don’t do that my dear, she would have done same for me if she was in my position. Michael please do well to take your medicines and take in more fluids when you get home. Remember we need you alive and strong.
 
Michael Ansah: (smiles) Thanks so much for the advice, it has been well taken and I will do well not to get myself in such state again.
 
Quincy: You have seen a pretty lady so your slangs is following now, my friend let’s go home for me to get some rest because you know I have a tight schedule for today.
 
Nurse 2: Hahahahaha you guys are very funny, let me leave you guys so I check on other patients. It was nice coming your way.
 
Quincy: Same here Yayra, thanks for everything.
 
Mike and Quincy left the hospital and got a taxi that took them home.
 
At Quincy’s Home:
 
Michael Ansah: Guy thanks for sending me to the hospital on time, I don’t know what might happen to me if I stayed any longer in the house.
 
Quincy: Hey what were you thinking, that I will sit and watch you die under my roof? Guy you are more like a brother to me so your well being is my greatest priority and I know you have also got my back solidly.
 
Michael Ansah: That is very true my guy, you are truly a brother from another brother to me and I am glad I have you in my corner.
 
Quincy: Ahaaa before I forget were you able to meet Julia at the airport and how did your meeting go?
 
Michael Ansah: Bro I met her but couldn’t engage her in an form of conversation because she had to travel to the north that same night to visit her mum who is in a very critical state at the hospital. I was supposed to travel with her but she gave me a very important task to perform on her behalf today, I will join her probably later when am done with the task she left me with.
 
Quincy: Ah so bad for her, after travelling for over 6hours to this country, she has to make another 12 to 13hours journey by road again. I pray her journey yields a positive result but hey did she buy any goodies for us?
 
Michael Ansah: That’s all you know, she bought somethings for me and they are in the bag on the sofa. Guy it seems like the thing is coming again ooo. (runs into the toilet)
 
Quincy: Jack make sure you don’t make the toilet tank full before it’s time and don’t forget to get the sample of your thing so we take it to the lab this morning.
 
Michael Ansah: Bro I have already packaged it so don’t worry at all.
 
Later in the morning:
 
Quincy: Guy are you still lying down? My friend get up and freshen up so we hit the road to the hospital.
 
Michael Ansah: Jack I don’t think I can be able to go to the hospital this morning. I feel so weak and tired that I want to sleep all day.
 
Quincy: Are you mad or you are now planning to get mad? Do you even love your life? You barely survived death and for us to find out what caused that problem you are lying there spewing nonsense. Get up before I pour water on you on the bed, if you want to commit suicide my house shouldn’t be the location for that, now be a good boy and get up from the bed.
 
Michael Ansah: Jack if I tell you that I can go to the hospital with you then am a big liar, please just submit the feces sample on my behalf.
 
Quincy: Hmmmmm you no say you be my guy so I go do am give you, now where the container dey?
 
Michael Ansah: Its on the desk and I put it in an extra big container so that it doesn’t stain your bag or things. Also I will ask for an extra favour but please promise not to be angry at me.
 
Quincy: Hope you are not going to ask me to get you Yayra’s phone number because I won’t do that. I was giving you the morale to do that earlier this morning but you stubbornly refused to hid to my wise counsel.
 
Michael Ansah: Far from that you dog, see I have to submit Julia’s package before her boss steps out of his house.
 
Quincy: Massa you too why? I be your errands boy or what? You want to capitalise on your s***ting galore and be sending me here and there huh? Respect yourself over there oooo.
 
Michael Ansah: Oh bro consider my current condition and do this for me please, you know I would have done same for you if I were in your shoes. The spirit is willing but the body is weak, I will text the man’s house address to you the moment you step out of this house and please I was warned not to open the package for any reason or hand it over to anyone apart from the man.
 
Quincy: You are lucky our co-tenant motorbike keys is still with me if not like you will go and deliver the things yourself. Now where are the things you want me to go and deliver to the man?
 
Mike manages to get to the bag he brought home the previous night and brought a container out, he searched through the things and got a paper bag out, he handed it over to Quincy as he quickly run to the toilet again. Quincy opens the paper bag and he realises that the paper bag happens to be two so he puts the delivery package in one then puts the sample container into the other one then he drops them in his bag and leaves the house immediately.
 
Quincy: (scre-ms as he leaves the room) You better send me the man’s address even before I get to the junction or else I will return the package so you deliver it yourself.
 
Michael Ansah: (scre-ms back) That won’t happen because I am forwarding the man’s address to you right this moment. I will settle you nicely when I come out from my deadly predicament.
 
Quincy steps out of his room and before he sits on the motorbike one of their clients called him to come for a cheque on one of their works they did, the client further stressed that he will be travelling around 10am so he should passby the office on time.
 
At Hospital:
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: And what are you doing here this early morning Mr man?
 
Quincy: So what happened to good morning my love? Has it gotten to the point where you greeting me when you see me is a crime huh? All the same good morning my sunshine.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: I asked a simple question and I am getting a wh0le lecture for not greeting his royal majesty. All the same I greet you my king, now do you mind telling me your purpose of coming to my workplace this morning because I don’t remember inviting you here.
 
Quincy: I am presenting something to your lab.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: (shows a little concern) Why are you sick? What is the problem with you?
 
Quincy: Am not sick, its Mike who had a stomach problem and I brought him here early this morning but he was taken care of and was discharged shortly after. He was asked to bring a sample of his feces so I brought the sample over.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: Oh baby, so Mike has eventually succeed in turning you to into his errand boy also, what has that guy done to you? I won’t be surprise if he drives you away from your own rented room also. I don’t know what he…….
 
Quincy: (cuts in) Maabena please stop this nonsense, what has gotten into you that you have all of a sudden turned so cold and insensitive. Why have you been trying so hærd to be so hostile towards that guy? Is it a crime to help a friend in crisis? Whoever you are in,side my sweet pretty Maabena, please come out from her so that I will enjoy my woman peacefully. Now that I have seen you here, it will save me the time of going in to submit the sample of Mike’s feces. I will call you later in the day for us to meet somewhere and before I forget help me thank your colleague called Yayra for her assistance when we came to your hospital. (Quincy contemplates on the exact container and later hands one of the paper bags to Maabena and rides off)
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: (talking to herself as she enters the hospital) Look at how annoying he is sounding, instead of seeing me as your greatest priority, you have rather taken interest in your fellow man. I hope Quincy and this Mike of a guy are not g-ys as I suspect or else, hell will break lose. If my suspicion happens to be right I will disgrace them in a way they will never forget in their lives. (enters the lab and drops the paper bag at a corner of the lab)
 
Lab Technician: Hello matron please what did you drop on the counter?
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: I will explain things to you later when am back from the director’s office but for the main time, don’t touch that paper bag until I am back.
 
Lab Technician: Okay matron, I am always at your service.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: (walks out of the lab) Do I look like I care about anything? You have been the reason why my relationsh¡p is not working and you expect me to assist you submit your stupid sample to the lab. Call me tilapia if I go back to the lab to address that paper bag issue.
 
Nurse Yayra: Hello to my friend who is now my boss, how are you doing?
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: Am very fine my dear, are you still here after your night shift? You should be home resting by now.
 
Nurse Yayra: That is true but I don’t have anything serious doing back home and before I forget, our future husband came to the hospital with his sick brother early this morning. I must admit to the fact that his brother is very fine and handsome. My dear can you link me to him because the sight of him alone was bursting my bubbles and landing him as my man will make my life complete.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: (feeling jealous) Who that one? My dear don’t ever make a mistake of falling for him because he will exploit you. He is a womaniser and a gigolo in short.
 
Nurse Yayra: Don’t worry my dear, I can change him when I get him in my web. You know we Ewes know how to take good care of our men.
 
Maabena Boaduwaa: I won’t be a part of this suicidal mission. Later you people will blame me of not warning you and I will be seen as the bad person here. Let’s pretend this conversation never happened (walks away)
 
Nurse Yayra: Ah why is this lady behaving strange this morning? All the same I will go and get the information I want from the lab technician later, by the time she realises that fine guy will be in my bed, if he is a gigolo then he will be very good in bed. It’s been long I had good s€× ever since that guy run away from me because he said I love s€× too much.
 
At the Boss Mansion:
 
Trouble: (in a deep voice) Hey what do you want here?
 
Quincy: Is this number 4 Alex Akoto street?
 
Trouble: I asked you a simple question and you are also throwing a question back to me. I said what do you want here this morning? Talk before I unleash the dogs on you.
 
Quincy: Take it easy my brother, I am looking for the owner of the house. I am delivering something important to him.
 
Trouble: And who are you and what are you delivering to my boss? Do you have an appoinment with him?
 
Quincy: My name is not important for now and also I don’t know what exactly is in the package but what I know is, what am delivering to him is something he has been eagerly expecting.
 
Trouble: My friend what are you saying? Are you telling me that you don’t know what you have in your possession and you are here to deliver it to my boss. Guy your ears are about to go hot if you dont leave this place or start talking.
 
Quincy: Is that a threat or what? My friend go in and tell your boss that someone outside his mansion has something important for him and stop blabbling like a hearse.
 
Ginola: What is going on over here Trouble? Why all this noise this early morning? You know boss despise noise especially when it’s early in the morning.
 
Trouble: This guy here has been the one trying to make things difficult for me, he claims he has something for boss. I asked him what he was delivering and he is saying he doesn’t know what he is delivering.
 
Ginola: Ah youngman are you for really? How sure are we that you are not a spy who has been sent to come and spy around the house. Let me give you free advice, go and tell those who sent you that if you make any stupid move I and my guys here will gun you down. Now get out of here before I molest you.
 
Quincy: Well I will go but I will tell Julia you refused to allow me enter the house. (walks away)
 
Ginola: Hey hold on, did you say Julia sent you?
 
Quincy: I didn’t speak Swahili my friend, I am out of here.
 
Ginola: Mr man don’t be rude, you can give me the package so I deliver to my boss.
 
Quincy: Over my dear body, is either you lead me to your boss or I take the package back. Also do well to inform your boss that Julia sent someone over to deliver something on her behalf but you denied me entry.
 
Trouble: (whispers to Ginola) Comrade it seems this guy is not willing to listen to what we are saying so why don’t we lead him to the boss.
 
Ginola: What if he is lying, I don’t want boss to rain insults on me this morning. You know how abusive our boss can be sometimes and this Julia issue is equally delicate to him.
 
Trouble: Bro no pain, no gain. Lets take him to the boss.
 
Ginola: Youngman if you claim Julia sent you, follow me into the mansion. (they walk into the mansion)
 
Trouble: Sit over there for me to announce your presence to my boss.
 
After 30minutes the boss had still not stepped down from his room upstairs and Quincy looking at his wrist watch the time his client gave him was fast approaching so he had no option than to hand the package over to Trouble and leave.
 
Quincy: Mmmm my guy it seems it’s taking infinity for your boss to come down and meet me, I have an appointment to catch so I will have no option than to hand the package over to you, please do well to hand it over to your boss.
 
Trouble: You don’t have to worry, your package will be delivered to my boss in one piece.
 
Stubborn: (walks in from upstairs) Hey where do I know you from, your face looks very familiar but I can’t recollect where I know you from.
 
Albert: (walks in from the gym) Ginola has my father left the house? Who is this guy and what does he want?
 
Ginola: No your father is still in his room and the guy is after your dad.
 
Albert: What does he want from my dad?
 
Ginola: Small master he is delivering something to you dad from Julia.
 
Albert: Oh I see, that disrespectful girl sent you but your face looks very familiar. Where do I know you?
 
Quincy: I don’t we have met before but all the same I have an appointment to catch. I am out of here guys, my regards to your boss. (hands over the package to Trouble and walks out of the mansion)
 
Stubborn: I swear I know the face of that guy but I don’t remember where I know him.
 
Ginola: My friend forget that one, what did he tell you when you went into his room? Isn’t he coming down.
 
Stubborn: He was on phone with Mr Simpson and I believe he must be done by now.
 
The Boss: (talks whiles descending the stairs) Where is the guy Julia sent to deliver the consignment?
 
Trouble: Boss please he just left this place, he said he has an important appointment to catch somewhere so he rushed out.
 
The Boss: Why the hell do you always have a very nice way of getting on my nerves. You made me call my business partner to rush over here only for you to tell me the stupid delivery guy left my house before I walked out of my bedroom?
 
Trouble: Boss please he left the package behind before he left.
 
The Boss: So why didn’t you say that earlier on you fool, now where is the package that guy brought?
 
Are you feeling the heat the mirage is coming with?
 
*Do you think Kwaku Mike is using charms to make women fall for him easily?
 
*Did Quincy do the right thing by handing over the “feces sample” to Maabena to deliver at the lab?
 
Let the discussion continue across all platforms and for any further information contact me on my number +233249446151.
 
My silent majority people I throw salute.
 
To be continued