Red Flags episode 1
RED FLAGS đ©
Episode 1
Sarah was 18 years old, when she thought she had met the love of her life. It was her first real, serious relationshÂĄp and she couldnât have been happier. Francis swept her off her feet without even trying, and Sarah just didnât think, things could get any better. They were both young and had a long way to go, Finally Francis travelled out of the country to further his studies and she lost contact with him. She was heart broken and devastated. She was convinced she would never find love like that again. She then focused all her energy to her studies.
At 20 years, all sarah wanted was to grow up, wear makeup, hang out with a good man who she would end up getting married to. As she grew older, she made the dumbest mistakes, she date guys too seriously. She felt that every relationshÂĄp must lead to marriage!
But who will blame her. A girl child were raised to eventually be someoneâs wife. Sometimes,
Sarahâs parents even made jokes like, âyouâll marry one day and be somebodyâs wife, âWhen I was your age, I was already marriedâ
Sarah became more desperate when her child hood friend Florence got married at 20 years old. Then, she begin to put so much pressure on herself to get a man.
Five years later, When Sarah finally pulled her self together and was at her final year in the University, but was still Single, She became so eager to get a man in her life. She decided maybe it was time to sign up for an online dating app and give this wh0le relationshÂĄp thing another shot because, it felt as if almost all of her close friends were engaged or some are already married and she was the only one who was not finding Love as she yearn for Love and companionshÂĄp. She instantly began the search for her own Prince charming online.
She meet so many guys on the dating site but one guy caught her attention, Mark was his name, He was persistent. After exchanging many messages with him, she agreed to meet him in person and have dinner with him. When Sarah and Mark met, she was pleasantly surprised by how much she enjoyed his company.
Mark seems to have some of the qualities she needed in a man. Mark was 32 years old and was also under pressure from his parents to get married.
From that moment they met they shared an amazing chemistry. At first, Mark was warm, friendly, gracious and polite. After three weeks of spending just about every day talking to each other on the phone, Mark told her that he was in love with her, and Sarah too, had to admit that she had fallen for him. They talked on the phone every day. Thier bond strengthened over the following few months and Mark decided it was time for him to visit Sarahâs family.
âso fast, wow Mark is a complete packageâ Sarah had thought excitedly as this was what she always looked forward to, She had always wished for a man who will take thier relationshÂĄp seriously.
When Mark met with Sarahâs parents, he got along well with them and they liked him immediately.
Mark was a well built handsome man and Sarah had never dated such a hunk, Mark has a great job and was doing well for himself, He was an Engineer and he worked in a big engineering firm and Sarah have always wanted to date an Engineer. For the first few months, Mark treated Sarah like a queen as thier relationshÂĄp got serious pretty quickly. And nothing else mattered more to Sarah, other than to end up being married to Mark.
In the beginning, Sarah regarded Mark as being perfect.
But As time goes on, Sarah sâ±0tted RED FLAGS(Warning signs) that she totally ignored. Sarah wasnât aware that her nightmare was staring at her right in the face. Faces can be deceptive, as it doesnât show all the hidden traits and character of someone. Mark was not a gentleman as he appeared to be. Yes everyone has flaws but Red Flags are not flaws but warning signs that no one should ignore.
Mark was a habitual liar and a manipulator.
Mark was a man who does not honor his word. He always exaggerated the truth. Mark would stretch the truth in order to impress Sarah , he was full of tricks.He lied to Sarah for any reason.
He Ignored The Boundaries Sarah had Set, Mark always push her into things she doesnât want to do, Mark was a Drama-King
He starts arguments and fights, and not just with Sarah but with anyone.
Mark Doesnât Get Along With Sarahâs Friends.
Sarahâs friends really, really disliked him. Especially, Florence , Sarahâs long-time friend, Florence kept voicing âred flagsâ about him, but Sarah didnât listen to her. Itâs was really hĂŠrd for Sarah to see something negative going on in her relationshÂĄp with Mark because her own emotions were caught up in it.
Mark was always Too Busy For Sarah.
He calls her at the last minute to go out. Heâs never sure when heâll be available, thier plans together constantly change to meet his needs. And yet, when it comes to his friends, sports, and work his life is scheduled weeks ahead. Sarah was his last priority and he always made her Feel BAD
One time, it was Sarahâs birthday, she was in fact expecting a gift from him as he had bragged for months that he would surprise her with a perfect birthday gift, she was so disappointed when Mark called on her birthday and said:
âI wanted to get you a really nice gift but money is tight, so if you donât mind Iâll get you a gift next weekâ
Sadly, many weeks later, Sarah never got anything from Mark. Yes Mark earned good money, he was financially fit but he was Irresponsible when it comes to spending, He spends money lavishly and the next moment, he would be dead broke, many times, Sarah had tried to advise him on how he spends his money lavishly but he became upset instead
He would promise her the world but delivers nothing.
He has broken promises he made to her over and over again but Sarah kept ignoring it.
Most times, He swears heâll take Sarah out for date, She will plan towards it but at the last minute he would say, âsorry I canât take you out today, maybe next weekâ.
Soon, Sarah realised that Mark was short tempered, he gets angry easily over little issues
He was an expert at justifying, explaining, and defending his position. He was so good at defending himself. He was also a proud person And When a manâs ego is bigger than his brains, thatâs a major RED FLAG. This is because his ego will always get in the way of his sense of reasoning.
They hĂŠrdly stay for two weeks without having issues and anytime they have issues, He gets violent or would threaten Sarah with a break up.
Sarah didnât take a look at how many times Mark had let her down and she kept making excuses for him, âNo one is perfect, Mark is a good man, I canât leave him because of his few flaws, I love himâ She told herself.
Sarah suspected he was cheating on her, but could never prove it. Mark was a Master at lying, and manipulation. When he was cheating were the times he was the kindest. If Sarah questioned him he turned the table on her and made Sarah feel she was to be blamed.
âWe have been dating for more than eight months and you have refused to give your body to me, what do you expect me to do, Iâm a man and I have sâŹĂual needsâMark would
say.
Few months later, Sarah finally gave in and they began to have sâŹĂ. They had LOTS of seex. Sarah thought that was LOVE and CONNECTION and INTIMACY! She felt like a âgoodâ partner â Mark hit the jackpot with Sarah in the sâŹĂx department! She never said NO to seex, except when she was not feeling well or too tired, which was rare at first. But the NO was always followed by guilt because Mark usually let her know how disappointed he was with her if she said NO.
This was very subtle â He would give her silent treatment for the next few hours, cold shoulder, disappointing glances, guilt trips with statements like âwe havenât had seex in sooooo long, if I cheat, its your faultâ even though they had just had sâŹĂx a few days before. Sarah and Mark dated for Two years and those two years, she aborrted five pregnancies. Mark would hurt Sarah and then turn around to play the victim. And then he would claim to be extremely in love with her. Love bombing at its finest! Except Sarah didnât know it was love-bombing â She just thought that Mark genuinely cared for her and loved her.
Mark accused her of doing the things he was guilty of. It got to the point, even if there was a chance something could be misconstrued as wrong, Sarah avoided doing it. It could be something as simple as taking an alternative route home. She didnât realize that Markâs behaviour was abusive, She just excepted him for him.
The worst was that mark was selfish.
It always all about him, all the time, And there was very little room for Sarahâs voice to be heard or her needs to be met. Even picking a movie at the cinema or to pick a restaurant where they will hang out becomes a battle
When things donât go his way, he gets very upset and of course he would blame others. He hates to compromise.
Most times, they hanged out alot, They went on long walks and car rides, They went out for dinner in fancy restaurants and they had great conversations, Most times, Mark would shower Sarah with expensive gifts, They held hands and k-ssed like normal couple, They appeared perfect But thier relationshÂĄp doesnât feel right.
End Of Episode 1
To Be Continued
A Story By Christabel Nwoko