Since Wale Ajibade’s graduation from school with a third class degree in English language he never stopped telling anyone that cared to listen that his Head of Department in school robbed him of his deserving first class degree all because he wanted his girlfriend and he fought fiercely for the love of his life Onyinye. Brother Wale’s love for Onyinye resulted to the scar he carries in his four head.
He had told us at home that he fought with the cult guy who also wanted Onyinye so fiercely that he feels he injured the guy more than the guy injured him. What he narrated as what he did to the cult guy sounded like c’ock and bull to me, I knew he was telling a big fat lie; the Brother Wale I know is so lily livered that in the process of him hurting a fly a fly would strangle him.
I remember the day he and his friend Brother Emeka fought in the bush, ask me what made them fight? Handsomeness!
“I am more handsome than you jor! You that have big lips!”
“I agree! My big lips makes the girls love me more, I kiss better you know!” Brother Emeka returned.
“You kiss better! And Kemi your girl friend is interested in me!” Brother Wale boasted.
“eheeeeen! You are the one that have been brain washing that girl that makes her lose interest in me, okwaaa ya?” Brother Emeka’s mouth was ajar.
“she says she want me, so was I to say no?”
Before I looked down to see what itched my right leg, fight don start.
“Help! Help! They are fighting!” I wished other farmers were close by.
Like Mohammed Ali, Brother Emeka swayed round and round perfectly like he had little knowledge of boxing, sorry I forgot! His father was a boxer when he was younger.
“I will finish you!” Brother Emeka let out one punch that struck Brother Wale in the jaw. Soon another to the same spot and from where I stood I saw that Brother Wale’s jaw grew longer.
“you think say you fit fight me abi? I go just beat you turn-turn!” Brother Emeka threatened.
“you can not beat me turn-turn!” Can somebody please help me tell Brother Wale that in Nigeria the language fighting understands isn’t English language but pidgin?
I had barely winked and I could barely believe my eyes! Brother Wale was back to the ground screaming “Help! Help!”
“Who go help you? Me?” I thought of taking to my heels but as I heard, “I don die ooh!” I knew it was time I showed I was a loving brother.
“leaving my brother alone oooh!” I was virtually dancing round the fighting ring.
“where I go start from? Abi make I blow him head?” I asked myself these questions about fifty times.
In no time I was grabbing Brother Emeka by the waist.
“Will you leave me?” Brother Emeka yelled.
“I will not leave you until you leave my brother!” I acted superman.
The only thing I remembered was that sledge hammer struck my nose and I flew like Virgin Atlantic about 100 metres away crashing like Sosoliso on top a vegetable bed.
Then I was dreaming. I was dreaming of fried fish.
I dreamt I was celebrating my birthday with fried fishes I fried myself.
“Yellow! Take two fish!” I was serving my friends.
“Yemi, you take four!”
“Ikenna, you take two!”
Then I stood with the tray of fishes in front of “Brutus the glutton”.
“Debo you take only one!”I commanded.
“how I go take only one? w€tin I do you?”
“I say take only one! na your birthday?” I yelled.
Debo hissed and took one as commanded, but as I turned to serve the next person, he swiftly grabbed the tray of fishes from me and fled.
“My fish! My fish!” My fish!” I chased after him.
“My fish! My fish! My fish………………………”
“spaaaaaash!” Water splashed on me brought me back to reality.
“My fish! My fish! My……………………”
“your fish abi? That is why I poured you water, so swim and overtake your fish that has swam pass you! Lazy boy!”
“But I wanted to……………………………” I saw blood around brother Wale’s nose.
“will you shut up!” He thundered.
The first Christmas I spent without Maami was hell. On Christmas eve while my friends were shooting Knockout here and there I was busy at the bean cake hangout; I and brother Wale of course.
“Have you eaten?” Brother Wale showed a little care for his younger brother since the death of General Sani Abacha.
“I am not hungry!” The only hanger in me was to go join my friends.
“Give me Akara hundred naira!” Brother Okon ordered.
“Brother Okon you don buy another Okada?” I asked as I served him.
“Yes oh! This one na Simba no be jincheng, I don sell that my jincheng” He smiled.
That Jincheng motorcycle really suffered. I remember when Brother Wale was learning how to ride. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and we three set for the football pitch where the learn-how-to-ride classes was to hold featuring Brother Wale as the student, Brother Okon as the teacher and yours truly SB as the water boy a.k.a the on looker.
Classes had not started and Brother Wale already needed water to drink.
“here na the truttle! Hold am well” Brother Okon said.
“Ok I don hold am! I fit move now?” Brother Wale was eager to move.
“Ok I go leave am now! You go move by yourself! Try make you hold the head well oh!”
The Motor Cycle meandered so much that I pitied my beloved brother. The boys playing football in the pitch laughed so hard that I was so p’issed and I yelled, “w€tin una dey laugh?”.
Soon our Brother Wale was heading to an unknown destination.
“Stop am! Stop am!” Brother Okon yelled.
“e no gree stop oh!” Brother Wale cried.
“Yeeah! Him dey drive enter bush ooh!” One of the boys playing football laughed. Brother Wale was the football they were playing at that moment; they all stopped to fetch a cup of laughter from the ocean Brother Wale provided.
“Match the brake! Match the brake!” Brother Okon yelled.
Instead of the motorbike to reduce in speed, it increased. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to God that Brother Wale shouldn’t collide with the electric pole ahead of him.
As I opened my eyes, I saw that somehow brother managed to escape that electric pole, next he was heading to the bush.
How cruel of Brother Okon; he cared not of the life of my elder brother but that his motorbike remained intact. “My Okada! My Okada!” He shouted as we chased Brother Wale and the bike.
I saw that there was another electric pole not too far from Brother Wale. “My brother! My brother!” I cried running ahead of the beast Brother Okon.
The worst happened; the bike hit the electric pole, then Brother Wale fell off rolling down the hill.
“Brother Wale!” I cried.
He was rolling down the hill like he was acting a Hollywood movie. I thought it was film trick.
“Brother Wale!” I cried out.
“see this guy don spoil my okada!” I heard Brother Okon said as I sloped down the hill after Brother Wale.
On getting to the bottom of the hill………………… “Brother Wale where are you?” I cried.
Legend has it that rocks are displaced by the wind from the top of the hill and they roll down the hill especially in October.
October 4th was the day I thought Brother Wale would die.
“Brother Wale where are you!” Tears rolled down.
What came to my mind was that I would be orphan alone; I would stay alone in that big house. All my love ones where gone, I would be the love one to myself, the mother to myself, the father to myself and the Brother Wale to myself. I would prepare bean cakes myself, Axe the wood myself, sell the bean cakes myself, I would go to the farm and work all day alone, cultivate alone, sell, spend the money alone and at night I would sleep in the dark room with the cockroaches alone.
“If Brother Wale die, who will I lie to occasionally?” I said to myself as I searched for his body.
“Who will spank me when I go wrong?”
“Who will teach me to be a man?”
“Who will knock my head when I err? Who?”
“Brother Wale where are you?” I cried with a loud voice.
“I am here!” I thought I heard an angel.
“Where are you?”
“I am over here!” I could locate where the voice sounded from.
Lying like a helpless baby was Brother Wale and he was seemingly not hurt.
“Are you okay Brother?”
“I am okay!” He stood up. I was shocked.
“Are you sure?” For clarity sake.
“I said I okay!” He raised his voice, “And why are you crying?”
“yes na! see tears in your eyes”
“Okay! Something entered my eyes! An ant” Linus Seyi Bobo.
“Brother I am happy you are okay oh!”
“yes I am okay, just that my trouser tore”
“I said, my trouser tore”
I bent down and saw that his trouser sustained the injury he was supposed to sustain, then I laughed.
“kpoooooo!” a knock landed on my head.