Legendary toto episode 3

Legendary toto episode 3
The only message wey my brain dey pass for me is yawa oo, yawa.
Me:Wait wetin be the person name wey you dey find..
I said still not opening the door.
Sergeant kunle: It’s one Mr Marvellous we’re looking for and am sure we’re not at the wrong address..
Me:I just move for here E no pass on week oo
Maybe you should ask people wey dey around.
Sergeant: Why don’t you show us your face, you know, you could help us trace the person..
Well, I no wan my matter be the no. 1 trending news for this area. Naso I open door oo.
The first thing I see for the sergeant hand na my picture.
Sergeant:So you want dey play games with us bah??
Officers! bundle am.
Me:wetin I do you.. I come steal p*nt for your house why you wan arrest me?
Naso one officer wey him teeth yellew pass MTN colour talk.
Officer: offense no 1, una insult the officer of the law..
Sergeant:When you reach our station you go know..
*Eeeeeehhh everybody come see something oo*
Chaii see wetin I dey avoid shey this woman no get work abi gini??
Naso them start to come out one by one.
Vicky olosho: Haha Oga policee why una wan arrest my husbandi??
Me: Abeg make we dey go.
Coz I no remember the time wey public toilet become my wife oo
Papa Anderson: Kai! and the boy nodey talk oo..
Emeka too much money:Nigga you don enter oo.
Abeg gimme the key to your room I wan carry babe come abeg..
Them give am Emeka too much money because the guy na Yahoo boy him like to dey spend money anyhow as if na him ancestors work for the money..
Me: Officers make wey dey go naw.
Naso them carry me go police station oo..
As I reach station laidis naso them say make I write statement oo..
Me:I no know wetin I do, you say make I write statement.
Naso them dey do??..
Naso one woman wey go dey at her mid fifties come out.
Woman: shey na the idiot, goat wey won kill my pikin be dis.
Naso the woman lock my shirt oo
Woman:You must kill me today oo, if my pikin die eehn you go see wetin your generation never see before.
Officers abeg carry this criminal enter cell naw.
I sha later write the statement they collect my wristwatch, my shirt and my wallet.
Officer: As you fine reach you no get pass 200naira for wallet and if we talk naw you go dey shout bigi boy, bigi boy we know pipu like una you still wan kill another person pikin.
Ah you be criminal!
The officer na woman oo smh.
Me:officer abeg my mama number dey the wallet help me call her say I dey here
I was later dragged to my cell the place na hell.
I started hearing gro-ning sounds and to my surprise one guy dey give him fellow guy from behind..
Guy 1:Ahh Ahh! f–k me Wella I wan taste your c-m f–k me bobo!
Guy 2:Ah uhm!!
I made sure they were done before I talked.
Me:Ehm my Ogas Wehdon oo
Guy 1: how far baby!
Blood of Jesus!! I cover myself with the holy ghost blood of zacarayah!
Guy 2: Welcome to the den!
Eeeeeehhh see where stingyness carry me come ooo..
My brother later came to check me sha, he asked wetin happen buh I no fit tell am naw.
I was later dragged to my cell.
Night don come, I lie down no reach five minutes when I felt someone grab my ass..
At first I think say na joke until the hand started m-ssaging my bum
I quickly stood up, *abi I dey hallucinate nii??* I thought when I no see the hand again
I lie down again and changed direction when the hand came again
Voice: Alaye calm down naw, na cleansing we wan do for una
Me: Cleansing for wetin, I dey do deliverance??
Voice: Shut up! una too dey talk too much
Like play, like play four hands started to pin me to the floor
Me: help! help me oo
Oga officers, ancestor officers, my generation Officers!!
Two officers came running like Christmas fowl wey they wan kill.
Officer 1:Why una dey shout like pikin wey dem just born wey tell God say him wan go America but meet himself for 9ja
Officer 2: Bia, which officer na your generation officer??, criminal no dey my generation
Me: Abeg make una comot me for here
Officer 2: Comot you for here??
Officer 1: Who you be??
Officer 2: President pikin??
Officer 1: Talking to the guys** wetin una do am??
Guy 2: We wan do cleansing for am, as our new paddy
Officer 1: Cleansing for wetin??
Officer 2: Eeeeeehhh Pastor criminal when una start evangelism ehn?
Me: Abeg ago pay una comot me for here fess.
Officer 2: How person wey be say na only 200naira him get for pocket fit pay us?
Me: Officer forget that one comot me for here naw
They sha later took me out, this night was a very cold night so almost all the officers are the sweaters, the station seff is almost des**ted, those Officers that came to arrest me were not there again I think they are the afternoon shift.
I sit down no reach two minutes when they started asking for money
Me: Oga make una calm down naw, I go give una tommorow.
Officer: Abi this one dey craze? who you dey scope? See ehn, iffu no gimme the money now now I go throw you for in,side that cell again.
Me: Haha make…
Then we started hearing noise people were throwing words at each other.
The officer wey dey my neck don dey smile like Easter snail.
Officer: Chaii market don set for this night oo.
They started making noise those officers nodey help matter at all.
They suppose to quench fire dey dey add petrol.
They seem to have forgotten me.
I sneaked comot for their midst and started running when one of the station guard saw me dem no waste time at all dem pursue me oo.
Las Las them catch me, but the cell wey dem put me this time around worrrrse ah! E worse.
I was welcomed by a resounding slap.
Guy: As una don come laidis go fan our oga until him sleep
Me:Why ago fan person when I suppose sleep??
To cut the long story short, I fanned the unwanted pig wey dem call boss oo.
One officer came to drag me out and I was told Queen is dead!
Me: Queen is gini??
I scre-med oo, baba God shey na laidis I’ll go prison coz of 7k ehn??