Intertwined episode 23
đ€INTERTWINEDđ€
đEP TWENTY THREEđ
The next several days were bliss. It was like there wasnothing else in the world but Travis and me. We still k-ssed,but we both knew where our limits were. We tried not tocome close to the edge. We knew we both might not havethe strength to stop a second time around.
We watched the sunset together every day. Sometimeson the deck, sometimes in the pool.
One time, we were lying on a hammock by the beach. Iwas in his arms, comfortably resting my head on hisshoulders with one of his arms wrapped around my wa-ist.
âItâs almost over,â I whispered as I watched the sun godown behind the horizon. But I didnât mean the sunset. Thenext day we would set back for New York. And somehow, Ifelt my heart breaking.
Travis heaved a deep breath. âI know,â he whispered.
âTomorrow, I put my mask back on. And youâre free to pushme back when I come any closer to you.â
I stared up at him. âIt doesnât have to be like that,Travis.â
âYes, it does,â he said softly.
âWhy? Canât we stay like this forever?â I asked. âCanâtyou take your mask off for me for good?â
He shook his head. âThis guy is weak, Brianne. He wonâtbe able to protect youâŠfrom himself.â
I rested my head back on his shoulder. I guessed he wasright. Without his mask, Travis couldnât resist getting hishands on meâŠcouldnât resist k-ssing me whenever he hadthe chance. I wanted it. If he didnât resist, I wouldnât havethe power to push him back, either. If he didnât control himself, we were both in danger of breaking each otherâŠtearing each other apartâŠlosing each other. Why did it have
to be complicated? Why did he have to be TravisâŠthe guywho was as important to me as the brother I had lost?
Travis tilted my chin up so I could look into his eyes. Hestared at me deeply. With a broken expression on his face,he said, âWhatever happensâŠplease donât forgetâŠI wouldnever intentionally hurt you, Brianne. And I would doanything for you. Just say the word.â
I sighed, trying my best to control the emotionsoverwhelming me all at once. âI love you, Travis. I think Iwould die if I ever lose you.â
And I knew I meant that.
That night, we stayed on the deck and had some drinks.Travis had his usual beer, and I had a mild c*cktail. Therewas a loverâs moon in the sky, and it illuminated the pooland the beach in front of us beautifully. Travisâs face againstthe moonlight was perfectâŠhe looked like a dark angel. I felta flood of pride sweep through me. I didnât know why but
somehow, it felt good to know that it was me he was k-ssingnow. But who knew what would happen to us when we wentback to the real world?
I opened Sarahâs box of honeymoon tricks. Travis and Ihad a laugh when I pulled out some naughty stuff from thebox, like edible underwear, lubricants, and flavored oils.There was a game there called âSssshhhh!!!â
ââSsshhhh!!! The newlywedsâ honesty game,ââ I readfrom the caption.
Travis raised a brow. âThatâs interesting.â
I read the caption further. ââThis is the game to play toget to know your new wifeâs or husbandâs deepest, darkestsecrets prior to your honeymoon. Know the answers toquestions such as âAre you really hitting the sâ±0t?â âAre youthe best he or she ever had?â âWhere exactly is her g-sâ±0t?â
âWhatâs his or her secret fantasy?â Play the game to improveyour connection to your partner. But a word of warning!
Some questions may be better off answering with a lie!ââ Ihad to laugh at that. I stared up at Travis. âShall we play it?â
He raised a brow. âWeâre not a normal couple. Whatgood could it to do for us?â
I giggled. âNothing, maybe. But it sounds like a hell of alaugh!â
Travis held his hands up. âAll right, whatever gives you akick.â He grinned.
I read the instructions. The game actually required theplayers to lose a piece of clothing or do something kinkydepending on the question. The more interesting to a playerthe answer was, the higher the bet, the kinkier the actionwould be.
âHmmm⊠now, this is interesting,â Travis said, grinning.
âForget it! Weâre not going to do that,â I glared at him.
âLetâs just read the questions and take turns answeringthem.â
He raised a brow. âNow, whereâs the fun in that?â
âCome on, Travis! Iâm just curious about the game. Itâsnot like you have an important board meeting to catch, youknow.â I took a card from the deck and read one questionout loud. âWhen did you lose your V-rginity?â
I looked at him. He raised a brow at me. Suddenly, Irealized I knew the answer to that. I smiled at him andhanded him the deck of cards. âYour turn.â
âShouldnât we answer each question both ways?â hechallenged me. âItâs not fair to know a secret only one way.â
I rolled my eyes. âFine. But I didnât have to answer thatquestion, either. You know exactly when I lost my V-rginity.â
He narrowed his eyes at me and then he shook his head.
âHmmmâŠactually, I donât think I recall that.â
I didnât anticipate that I was going to feel bad when Iheard what he said. I raised a brow at Travis and gave him ahaughty look. Of course! How could he remember? I wasonly one of the girls heâd been to bed withâŠone of the statistics. How could I have possibly made that night specialto him?
âI donât have to answer that!â I insisted, refusing to lookat him, not letting him know that heâd actually pissed meoff.
Travis stood up from his chair, came close to me, andquickly placed my face between his palms, forcing me tolook at him.
I raised a brow at him. âHeyâŠâ he said. He smiled at mesheepishly. âSenior year. May eleventh. Twelve-thirty a.m.,Paladine Matrimonial Suite 1403. You were eighteen yearsold. I was the guy who took your innocence away from you. Itouched you twice that night.â He stared at me and then heheaved a sigh. âJust because I asked you to forget doesnâtmean I could will myself to do the same thing.â
I bit my lip. He remembered! âMaybe you just have avery good memory.â
He chuckled as he released me. âBelieve me! Itâs one ofthose things I wish I didnât have.â He sat back in his seat.
âNext question?â
I picked another card from the deck. âHave you had apartner of the same sâŹĂ?â
âHell no!â Travis answered immediately.
I laughed. âToo defensive there, chief!â
âNext question?â
âAre you not interested to know my answer?â I asked.
âNo,â he said.
âWhy not?â
âBecause I already know the answer,â he replied. âAnd Ican say Iâm thankful my wife is as straight as I am.â
I laughed and picked another card. âWhereâs yourweakest sâ±0t?â
He shrugged. He thought for a moment and then hesaid, âI guess itâs my ear.â
I tried to think what was mine. Chris was the only man Ihad been with after my first time with Travis. And I couldnât remember a sâ±0t that made me weak, or made me shiver.
Travis raised a brow at me. âHonestly, you donât know?âhe asked.
I shook my head. I didnât remember Chris ever k-ssingme on some part of my body that made me instantlymindless.
âI really canât think of any. Maybe I donât have a weaksâ±0t.â
Travis raised a brow at me again. âCome on. Thinkagain.â
âWell, I canât remember Chris dwelling on a particularsâ±0t thatâŠmade me weak.â
âMaybe this Chris character is a moron,â Traviswhispered under his breath.
âI heard that,â I said to him. âCould be true, actually.â
Honestly, I thought Iâd felt more sensual with Travis in theprevious week than Iâd ever felt in the years I was withChris. With Chris, it felt like a task, an obligation that we hadto fulfill because couples were supposed to do that tostrengthen their relationshÂĄp. But if it hadnât been arequirement, we might not have done it at all.
With TravisâŠit was like, we didnât have to do itâŠweknew we couldnât do itâŠand yet we were like two oppositepoles of magnets pulling toward each other, and we had tofind the strength to stop.
âNext question?â I asked Travis. In a way, I feltembarrassed that I couldnât tell him where my weak sâ±0twas.
Travis picked up a card. But before he read the question,he stared at me from under his lashes. âThe base of yourneck,â he said in a low voice.
I blinked back at him. âWhat? Thereâs no way you couldknow that!â
He raised a brow. âReally, Mrs. Cross, would you like meto prove my point?â
I bit my lip. I knew I was red all over. I shook my head.âNo,â I replied in a weak voice. âIâll take your word for it.Next question.â
He gave a look that was meant to unnerve meâŠmakeme blush. And when he was sure Iâd blushed enough, hegave me a smirk and said, âYour ex is officially a moron. Iâveknown that since we were fifteen, cherie.â
I glared at him. But I knew he was right. One night whenwe were young, heâd trapped me in his bedroom when Icame home past my curfew. He sort of nuzzled my neck forthe first time. I trembled and almost fell to the floor.Amazing how Travis had realized that in three seconds andChris never did in the two and a half years we were
together.
Travis gave me a crooked smile before reading thequestion on the next card. âFantasy place you want to doit?â
I laughed. âGosh! HmmmâŠIâm not an exhibitionist. Iwould like it to be in a bed of rose petals.â I looked at Travisshyly. âIâm boring.â
He shook his head. âYouâre rom-ntic. Me? Funny, I fancya pool.â
âA pool?â I echoed.
He nodded and pointed at the plunge pool beside us. âAslong as itâs private.â
I laughed. âWow! And I actually thought Travis Crosswould think aboutâŠfitting rooms or something.â
He frowned. âIâm actually discreet in my sâŹĂual affairs.And any woman who would allow me to do it with her in apublic placeâŠactually turns me off.â
âHmmm⊠interesting fact about Travis Cross.â I smiled. Ipicked out another card from the deck. This one had a longquestion, followed by series of question marks and a redheading that read, âAnswer with Caution!â
âInteresting card,â I said. I read the first question. âDidyou have sâŹĂ seventy-two hours prior to the wedding?â
I knew the answer to this on my side. But suddenly Irealized I wanted to know what Travisâs answer was, too.
âNo,â I answered. I read the follow-up questions. âI guessthe rest are all N.A.âs for me.â I looked at Travis. âYour turn.â
He narrowed his eyes. âAre you really interested in myanswer?â
âWell, itâs not like I will file a divorce if I donât like what Ihear,â I laughed.
He sighed. âAsk away.â
âDid you have sâŹĂ seventy-two hours prior to thewedding?â
He stared at me soberly. âNo,â he whispered.
âCome on, Trav! You can lie better than that,â I teased.But deep in,side, my heart was pounding in,side my chest.Why the hell am I nervous?
âI didnât have sâŹĂ before my wedding,â he said. âIâŠmade love.â His voice had a hint of pain, and suddenly theair seemed to be full of the same intense emotion that hefelt.
âTo whom?â I asked quietly, reading the next question.The stripper in the cake? I wanted to add.
He sighed. âTo an amazingâŠwonderful woman.â
I guessed he didnât want to say the name of the girlâŠifhe actually still remembered.
I read the next question. âWhat were your thoughtsduring that time? Did you realize anything vital aboutyourself?â
Travis stared at me seriously, as if deciding whether toanswer the question or not. Then finally he said, âMy life.The reason why I live. The core of my existence.â
I stared back at him. Suddenly, I wanted to cry. When hesaid those words, he sounded so vulnerableâŠso tornâŠsobroken.
âI realized I had a heart, and itâs been beating andbreakingâŠI realized there was one person I could live anddie forâŠand I wanted to freeze that moment for eternityâŠbecause in that momentâŠwhen she scre-med my nameâŠshe truly belonged to me.â
âTravisâŠâ I couldnât breathe. I realized something. Thiswas what heâd been trying to tell me since the weddingâŠevery time he fell quiet and looked lost. He wasnât just abroken soulâŠhe was also heartbroken when he married me.He wanted to tell me how much of a sacrifice he wasmaking for me. There wasâŠa womanâŠand Travis couldnât
be with herâŠbecause heâd kept his promise to marry me.
âTravisâŠyouâreâŠin love?â
He bit his lip. Tears threatened to escape from his eyes.
âIt doesnât matter now, does it?â He smiled ruefully.
âSometimes, itâs too late when you realize your worldrevolves around one personâŠI thoughtâŠit was my bodycraving hersâŠbut that last time I was with herâŠI realized itwas my heart scre-ming out for herâŠI realized too lateâŠshewas the air that I breathedâŠand I would give everything justto see that look on her face againâŠthe look of love shiningupon her when she scre-med my name and weâŠâ He took a
deep breath. âCame together. She told me she loved meâŠbut I didnât tell her how I really feltâŠhow I really feelâŠâ
I looked back at Travis. His eyes were w-t with tears. Hewas broken. Because Iâd asked him a big favorâŠbecause hepledged his life to me a long time agoâŠit had preventedhim from pursuing his happinessâŠhis own love, when hedidnât even know that he was capable of feeling that.And nowâŠhis life was mineâŠand the heart of the woman
he realized he loved was lost to him. He was left with meâŠthe selfish little sister of his best friendâŠwho had becomeso used to him saving her for half of her life!
âTravisâŠIâm sorry,â I whispered. âI didnât knowâŠâ
He took a deep breath. âDonât feel sorry, love,â he saidsoftly. âI didnât know, either. I knewâŠtoo late. Otherwise, Iwould have told herâŠbefore the weddingâŠso at leastâŠshewouldnât feel that I cheated.â
Tears rolled down my cheeks. Even though I knew therewas a part of me that broke hearing that there was anotherwoman in his heartâŠa bigger part of me ached for thebroken man in,side TravisâŠwho may have lost the chance tobe with the love of his life because he helped me buy timeto find the love of my life. How truly selfish of me!
I couldnât stop crying now. I stood up from my seat andwent to Travis. He caught me in his arms, making me sit onhis lap. He put his arms around me, cradled me in his arms,and I cried against his chest.
âIâm sorry, Travis,â I said. âI didnât know. OtherwiseâŠIwould not have held you to your promise! I would have letyou go. I would have set you free. I didnât know you weresacrificing that much for me!â
âSsshhh!â he whispered. âI guess I also wouldnât haveallowed you to cancel the wedding.â
âBut you canât sacrifice that much for me, Travis,â I said.
âNow, itâs too late! Youâre married to me nowâŠand you mayhave blown your chances of being with her.â
I realized that even though a part of me hurt, too, Iwould rather do something for TravisâŠif there were anythingmore that I could do to help soothe the pain.
âTell me, Travis. Tell me how I can make it up to you? Tohelp soothe your painâŠtell me what to do.â
He looked down to me. His expression was still torn andbroken. He smiled at me wistfully. âFor now, this is enough,love. What youâre doing is enough to soothe a little of mypain.â
âDonât you want to pursue her? Do you want me to talkto her and tell her why you married me in the first place?â
He laughed humorlessly. âI doubt that would be of anyhelp at the moment.â He pushed a lock of stray hair awayfrom my face.
âYouâre just giving up?â I asked him angrily. âDonât youwant to fight for what you feel for her?â
He smiled at me. âHow about you, Brianne? Arenât yougoing to fight for me? Iâm your husband now.â
âBut I want you to be happy, Travis!â I said.
He smiled. âAnd I will be,â he said. âWith you. Like this.Time heal all wounds. For nowâŠI am happy this way withyou. I wonât ask for anything else just yet.â
âIâve been unfair! IâŠalways thought you were mineforeverâŠI didnât even think that you also had a life of yourown⊠a heart of your own! I feel likeâŠI stole the one chanceyou had to be happy!â
He chuckled humorlessly. âI guess I had two chances tobe happy. I chose this one.â
âBut why? Why didnât you tell me?â
âBecause you needed me, Brianne,â he replied softly.
âThis marriage was pre-ordained fourteen years ago. Last-minute realizations donât always get factored in.â
âOf course they do! Had you told meâŠthat you had achance at a different lifeâŠthat would make you happier, Iwould have…set you free.â
âAnd you would rather your family curse you?â
I nodded. âIf that meant youâd be happier for the rest ofyour life, then yes!â
He smiled at me wistfully. âThen I donât deserve you,Brianne! I guess I should be the one making amends, notyou. And I am happyâŠlike thisâŠwith you.â
âBut thereâs something missing,â I said to him. âI cansee it in your eyes.â
He gave me a smile that was full of pain. âOne of thedownsides of asking me to put my mask down, love. Youwerenât supposed to see a lot of things.â
âBut I want to!â I insisted. âI want to know everything. Iwant you to know that even if youâve lost hope in trustinganything elseâŠyou can trust me.â
He cupped my face between his palms. âI know. ItâsmeâŠyou shouldnât trust. I know deep in,side my heart I would never hurt you. But I was afraid that there were somethings beyond my control,â he said in a broken voice.
âBut I do trust you, Travis. And I always will,â I said. âIwill always believe in you. I want you to be happyâŠeven ifâŠit means you will be happier without me.â I knew I meantthat. But it hurt to say it. Because I really could not imaginemy life without Travis in it.
He shook his head. âCanât you see, Brianne? I cannot behappy without you. My fate was tied to yours the day Ipromised Tom I would take care of you.â
âYou donât have to sacrifice so much for me!â I argued.
He smiled ruefully. âI was actually hoping somethinggood will come out of this. When I chose this pathâŠI washopingâŠfor a miracle. I know weâll be okay, love.â
âMiracle?â I echoed.
He shrugged. âThat someday, things would fall intoplace. That weâd both be happy in the end.â
I hugged him. âYou donât always have to be selfless withme!â
He gave me a humorless laugh. Then he shook his head.
âYou have so much faith in me, love. I donât deserve it. Youmust remember the man that I was before I married you.Donât forget who I really am.â He shook his head again. âIdonât think itâs in my nature to be selfless.â
âWhy do you always try to change my opinion of you?â
âBecause I want you to see who I really am,â he said.
âAnd see that I cannot changeâŠnot permanently, at least.â
âYou would have changedâŠfor her,â I said in a sad voice.
âLove changes people, Travis. You would have been a better,happier man if youâd chosen not to marry meâŠif youfollowed your heartâŠif just once, you allowed yourself tobreak a promise.â
âMy parents never knew how to keep their promises, ortheir word,â he said coldly. âIâm not going to be like them. Ihave never been.â
âEven if you sacrifice your heart?â
He hugged me tighter to him. âEven if sometimes I donâtdo whatâs right.â
âYes,â I sobbed in his arms. âYou shouldnât have marriedme, Travis. You should have followed your heart. Thatâswhatâs right.â
âBut everything about this honeymoon feels right, too,Brianne.â
I sighed. I knew what he was saying. Everything feltrightâŠeven the part where I was in his arms. I felt like everything was as it should be. I hadnât thought aboutChristian in a long time. And now that I remembered him, Ididnât think I would trade my time with Travis for anything. Iguessed it was safe to say that I was totally over Christian.
âAre you saying you donât regret choosing me over thewoman you might be in love with?â
He took a deep breath. Then he said, âIâve had you thisway longer. It may be h-rder to let go of what we have. Iâvenever regretted my decisions in the past, Brianne. So pleasedonât make me feel like I should start regretting some ofthem now.â
I stared at him. âTravis, sooner or later, I will find theman I have been looking for. Weâll divorce and I will remarry.That was the plan, remember?â
He gave me a devilish smile and said, âWho told you Ihad plans of ever giving you up?â
I giggled. âI told you, you canât fall in love with me,â Iteased.
He shook his head. âI donât have to be in love with youto want to keep you forever,â he teased back. âI told you,Iâm naturally a selfish manâŠgreedy, even.â
I laughed. âYou intend to keep me as your wife forever?â
He shrugged. âEver wondered why I didnât suggest aprenup?â
I laughed. âStop that, Travis! You donât need a prenupbecause you know I will not take a single penny from you!We trust each other enough to know what the real deal is.
For all itâs worth, I should be paying you for your servicesâŠbut that would make me feel like a dirty old woman.â I tooka deep breath. I still felt guilty about the wh0le thing. Istared at Travis. âWho is she?â
He raised a brow.
âThe womanâŠwho basically is your life,â I added.
I was not sure I wanted him to answer. There might havebe a small part of me that ached to know whether whenTravis was k-ssing me, his heart actually longed for thecompany of another woman.
âWhy do you want to know?â he asked.
I shrugged. âNo reason. Iâm just curious. In all the yearsIâve known you, Iâve never imagined a woman could actuallymake youâŠmiserable.â
âIâm not miserable, Brianne.â
âI knew you were torn and heartbroken when youmarried me. Now I know why,â I said. âI was just curiouswhat sheâs likeâŠthis woman youâd rather be k-ssing whenyou are k-ssing me.â
âDonât be absurd, Brianne,â Travis said, his tone showingsigns of irritation. âWhen Iâm k-ssing you, I would rather bek-ssing you. Remember, nobody can force me to do what Idonât want to do. So when Iâm k-ssing you, thereâs no otherwoman in my mind but you.â
âStillâŠI want to know what sheâs like. You said sheâs yourlife.â
He sighed and cupped my face between his palms again.
âI think weâve played too much of this game now. Youâreasking too many questions that arenât on the cards!â hesaid. âBut to answer your questionâŠthis woman, who is mylifeâŠis amazing and wonderful. She has reddish blond hairâŠbeautiful gray eyes. Sheâs a vixen in a beautiful humanform,â he said solemnly. He took my hand and raised it tolook at my fingers. âHer delicate fingers can paint beautiful
pictures, colors, and hues. When she dances on stage, shetakes my breath away.â He stared at me deeply. âShe has a good heart, a wonderful soul. Sheâs exquisite, far morebeautiful than any woman I have ever known.â
I narrowed my eyes at him. âTravis! I asked a seriousquestion!â
He chuckled. âAnd I answered it truthfully!â he said.
âBecause itâs true. I married you. You are my life now.â
âYouâre not going to tell me who she is, are you?â
He sighed. âIt doesnât matter, Brianne,â he replied. âIwould rather try to stay married to you now.â
âBut we both know where this marriage is headed! Idonât want you to let go of your chance at love, too!â
âThis marriage will last as long as you wantâŠneed it to,âhe reminded me. âHow long will that take?â he asked mematter-of-factly. âAnd during those years, I donât intend to bemiserable, Brianne.â
âThen why did you choose to marry me?â
He took a deep breath. âBecause I canât afford to loseyouâŠin any way. That would make me more miserable thananything else. And for that, I wanted to kick Tomâs ass! Hethrew us in this situation.â
I didnât know what to feel anymore. Travis had justconfessed that he gave up the first woman he ever loved forme. He was torn, broken, and miserable, but he chose thispath because he would rather have a broken heart than nothave me in his life at all. Because his love for me was fargreater than any other love he would ever feel for any otherwoman.
I hugged him again. âHow can I help you ease the pain?â
He tightened his arms around me. He took a deepbreath. âThis. For now, this is enough.â
I realized then what I needed to do. Travis had lost hislove when he married me. I would try to make up for that. Iwould fill that empty gap in his heart. I would try to ease thepain by doing what the girl of his dreams would have donehad he not married me instead. I would try to take herplaceâŠuntil Travis could be wh0le again. And I would be patient with him. I knew it was going to be difficult. Becausewhen we got back to New York, Travis wouldnât be as openand as vulnerable as he was now. In New York, he would tryto repel my efforts to make him forget. But I would bepersistent. This was the least I could do for him. Damned if Igot my heart broken in the end!