Save me episode 9 – 11

Save me episode 9

By Amanii amani

_” forgive me..

He begged with a muffled voice not able to keep his sobs anymore.

I freed my self and turned to look at him.

He was crying so hærd he just let me go and squeezed his chest with his palm.

His heart was hurting.

I’ve seen man crying before me again.

This man in his forties who couldn’t feed his children and was so proud to ask for money.

The old man who lost his 50 years long companion in life and his dear person.

And our cousin who woke up after an accident to find out he can’t walk anymore.

But i never saw a man crying of guilt .. My guilt.

And i definitely never saw a man so young and strong squeezing his heart as if it was going to stop in the next second.

At that moment .. I couldn’t but think of that girl he used to date back in the days and dumoed for another.

I remember walking in,side the class to find her crying heavily as a bunch of her friends counselled her.

_” i wish you have hurt as much as you hurt me Amine Belarbi ..i wish there will come a day when you cry so much you feel your tears are not enough!” The girl shouted cursing.

When all her friends mumbled “Amiine” (Amen) after her.

_” i wish you die of pain everyday but death doesn’t come to ease the load on you!”

_” amiine”

Back that time .. I thought the girl was so stupid wasting her wishes on such hurtful curses instead of wishing for the better causes.

I never realised that the only girl who didn’t join their prayers will be the second part of their curses.

I never thought Rami belarbi will cry for me.

_” may god curse you in this life and in the after life .. I will never forgive you” i cursed too.

As i tried to stand up.

But before i even did .. Selma coming back with a bandage hurriedly bent down compressing my hand with the bandage to stop the now heavy bleeding.

_” brother .. We have to take her to hospital” she said with tears steaming silently down her face.

Not able to raise her head and look at him as she was talking.

She probably didn’t want to see her dear brother on such hurt

_” astaghfirou allah” ( may god forgive my sins) he mumbled as he tried to wipe his tears and stop crying.

_” i’ll go bring a taxi” he hærdly said and then stood up walking away.

_” i have a car” i objected.. But he already walked out of the Kitchen.

They all gathered around me next .. Terrified because the bleeding was rather heavy.

Although my hand hurt me .. But i felt warm in my heart.

It’s like i’ve never had a family before .. Although we were more than ten in the house ..

I guess “affections” is what gathers a family.. And not the name

Rami soon came back and ordered :

_” selma help her put her Hijab .. The car is ready ”

So she nodded as my mother-in-law handed her a long black dress with a zipper from the neck all the way down.. And a light scarf.

Selma helped me drees up carefully .. rolled the scarf around my head . and put hers too

_” we’re ready now .. Let’s go brother”

I was surprised to find my car parked at the front door with the engine and lights on.. And my brother-in-law sitting in the driver’s seat.

Selma gave me a gentle push to go seat in the back seat as she accompanied me. While Rami took the front seat.

My brother-in-law drove so fast i thought i was really in a life threatening situation.

_” sister-in-law . you should be more careful with edgy pieces.. Why didn’t you let Selma collect them instead! I heard these cut can hurt the nerves laa qadara allah! ( may god keep this fate away)” my brother in law shouted concerned as he kept pressing the horn to make the cars move from his way.

Our city is so small that we just had a clinic instead of a big hospital. And although that would be enough because i just needed stitches at most my brother-in-law drove all the way to the nearest bigger city.

When we arrived he and Rami soon made a way through the waiting area and made me go first to the examination room.

People of course were disturbed with that and they had every right .. But none of them could say a word looking at the huge Rami belarbi.

The doctor soon assured us it was just a mild cut that needed two stitches near my thumb.

So the nurse took my hand and did her job.

As she was stitching my hand some drunk man barged into the door and walked in,side the room as the guards tried to stop him.

The chaos soon filled the room while all the stuff tried to calm him down and make him join the waiting room again.

He refused.

Once his eyes fell on me suddenly .. He stormed towards me shouting:.

_” look at this %$&@ here .. Come here to papa to @$%&$ ”

I felt terrified .. Although i knew the room was full of people, but i started thinking of that night again .. I couldn’t stop my heart from beating so fast nor my frightened gasps as i thought i was going to be raped again.

That’s when Rami monstrously jumped over him and started punching him so hærd i thought the man died and shouted:

_” she’s my wife you @$%&$ .. Don’t you dare look at her! .. Don’t you dare think of touching her! She’s my wife!”

Episode 10

” she’s my wife you @$%&$ .. Don’t you dare look at her! .. Don’t you dare think of touching her! She’s my wife!”

The guards soon pushed “Rami” away from that drunk .. He kept looking at him with a killing stare .. With his breathes so fast and deep .. And his face red.

_” you can’t touch her in front if my eyes again . i’ll kill you !” He shouted hysterically making everyone in the room look at him confused.

Not me of course .. I knew why he said that.

He must have seen me being raped over and over in front of his eyes.. And he has done nothing for me.

The doctors said i was raped about 4 times.. And that i survived such abusing remarkably.. Which meant one of those beasts enjoyed his time so much he raped me again.

Funny isn’t it? .. The man who witnessed all that happening to me .. No, the man who “did” that to me is roaring now like a lion showing him self.

I just smirked at his actions in disgust.

the guards kicked him out of the room while the doctor bent to see how the poor drunk was doing.

the nurse who was taking care of my wound hushed to me nervously:

_” you have such an over protective husband .. Lucky you”

_” yes.. Lucky me” i mocked.

The hospital stuff didn’t want to report the incident to the police thinking that what he did was ” rightful and out of dignity”

I’d rather they did.. This way he would go to jail for something.

_” are you ok?” Rami asked concerned standing next to his siblings first thing i walked out of the room.

_” i won’t be ok until i put you in jail” i replied disgusted with him.

He better go play his “caring husband” thing else where .. Because i wouldn’t fall for that.

This animal had his share of amusement from me .. And now he’s married to me just so he wipes his crime ” legally”.

He ignored me next .. And just walked away.

**********************

As i was handing the golden kaftan that was now full of blood s₱0ts to Selma i said apologetically:

_” i’m really sorry that i ruined it .. It was a real beautiful dress”

_” no .. You don’t have to apologize” she hurried with a nervous smile ” it’s your dress anyways .. So you don’t have to hand it back to me”

_” how?” I asked confused.

_” it was made for you so many years ago”.

I looked at her in utter confusion.

Because she said it was made for “me” .. And not for an anonymous bride.

_” i think Mma (my mother) is the one who is supposed to tell you this story .. But i guess i will steel the fun from her” she explained as she patted the s₱0t on her bed next to her as a sign for me to sit down.

This was the first time for me in,side her room. She led me there once i walked in,side the kitchen holding the golden kaftan. Putting on those dirty clothes i had on me when i went out of the hospital.

She shares the room with my mother-in-law .. So there was two beds put in there .. With a wooden closet pushed against the wall to the side .. And a small sort of writing table stuffed with pillboxes and a big mushaf ( means the book of Koran) put above a prayer rug.

The room was rather small.. We had rooms double or three times its size. But i was never welcomed in them .. I was always kicked out. Or not daring to even walk in.

I guess a big house with small hearts is like a grave.

Opposites are opposites.

When i finally sat down .. She started explaining:

_” Mma was very sick few years ago .. She stayed in the hospital for so long”

I felt my heart tightened right away .. How could such a wonderful person be so sick.. While monsters don’t even get a cold!

Life is really twisting.

_” she’s doing much better now” she assured me looking at my concerned face ” but back at the time .. None of us thought she would survive”

” doctors put her under so many drugs that she was in delusion and hallucinations most of the time, the only thing we could do for her was to just follow her lead and wish her a comfortable death” she stopped talking then .. Taking deep breaths hærdly hiding her emotions brought by the sad memories.

And then she resumed:

_” you probably don’t remember seeing us .. But one day you came visit the hospital with your volunteering group .. You visited my mother too. that’s when we first met you Hayat..”

Episode 11

You visited my mother too. that’s when we first met you Hayat..”

I looked at her surprised with what she was talking about.

Because If this was true.. It probably happened in our second year in high school.. 9 years ago.

Since our town was so small .. We didn’t even have a local high school , so we had to go by the bus every morning to the nearest highschool in a neighbouring town.

Thus, Not so many girls were “allowed” to resume their studies by their families .. So there were so little girls compared to boys in the bus . we were only 5.

Back at the days .. We made a Quran club to gather us .. Taking the opportunity of the long ride to memorize the Quran and learn religious lessons .

Making boys like Rami bellarbi Sit far at the back of the bus avoiding us like we were the plague.

we wanted our club to spread the idea of ” a good deed melts a heart” but There weren’t so much we could do to benefit our society in fact, rather than volunteering for cleaning and org-nizing visits to hospitals and orphanages.

Although no one appreciated what that small group of five girls was doing.. We felt utterly proud of what we did.

I never thought that one of those hundreds of patients that we visited will remember me.

I never thought “Rami Bellarbi”s family do.

_” i’m sorry.. I don’t really remember ” i admitted nervously wanting to hear the rest of the story.

_” you must have met lots of people .. It’s ok” she clarified ” anyways, my mother liked you very much back at the time .. To the point of dreaming to have you as a daughter-in-law. She even told you that at one of those visits .. And you replied jokingly you’d be honored to be her daughter too”

She then stopped talking .. As tears left her sad eyes unwillingly.

_” we went to ask hands of so many girls before meeting you .. No girl accepted to marry my older brother.. You were the first to say yes. You were joking .. But she took it seriously”

I felt my heart choking for that as Nada kept hiding her sobs.

I felt guilty.

_” she just wanted to see him settled and happy before she dies”

_” i’m sorry” i mumbled .. hærdly keeping my tears.

_” no .. You don’t have to apologize. We should thank you instead.. It’s because of this little hope you gave her that she came back to life again. We kept deceiving her after that saying that we asked your hand from your family and they accepted .. We even gave her a false date of marriage .. And made it look like if all was going well”

_” Mma was so sick .. And we were desperate” she explained looking at my dumbfounded face.

_” as for the dress, we just made it and showed it to her as the gift we shall give you when you come to our house”.. ” when she felt better miraculously and found out the truth .. She could do nothing but wish you a loving family and a happy life. And we kept the dress for our future bride.. We never thought it will go to you for real ultimately”

” you gave us back our mother .. But we ruined your life instead.. I can’t apologize enough to you” she mumbled looking away from me.

I just smiled in defeat. Life is such an unfair game.

I remember those girls who once shared the same dreams that i had .. To go to college, and to have a happy life after that.

They all said i was the prettiest .. And the smartest.

And that i shall have the brightest future for sure.

All those girls are settled with families of their own now.. With children and a loving husband.. So far away from this awful town.

While i .. I now have no future.

_” times has changed Selma .. And now no man would accept “me” but your other brother. I will take this dress with me .. So i remember those days where i was wanted”

*********************

Next day when i was looking at my disgusting clothes i saw they were so dirty that i can’t even pray with them.

I was neglected by my family .. Looked down by society .. And married to a murder.

But god gave me strength through all of this not to look like a homeless in front of the mirror.

I had to stand on my feet again.

So i took a hairbrush.. Fixed my hair .. And then i went to the kitchen to meet my in-laws.

_” Selma .. Can i ask you a favor” i hushed standing next the door hesitating.

_” sure sister! .. Anything for you!”

_” it’s just that i .. I don’t have clothes”

_” you need me to give you some ?” She asked excited.

So i mumbled _”No”

Because what i needed to do in fact .. Was to go take everything i had from my family.

They sure thrown me to the streets .. But if they think i’ll accept and act like the small town girl they think i am .. They sure are wrong.

So i said decidedly:

_” i need you and my brother-in-law to come with me to my family’s residence.. I need to take few belongings of mine”